Yes, a few years ago if I'd seen this question I would've thought "How sleazy! Waddya marry for?!" But now I'm in the sitch. I didn't marry for sex but hubby couldn't perform for 8 YEARS! Couldn't or wouldn't...So we've been apart for a year. I'm no longer attracted to him but thinks she should go back together, divorce is wrong and he seems so sad and pitiful. Not in a good $$ sitch, just lost his mom too. Should re reconcile? Would I be able to deal w/ it again?
2007-10-28 06:07:55 · 10 answers · asked by tooinvolved1 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If your husband couldn't perform for eight years, I would say there is a very good chance that he is either secretly gay, having an affair, or both.
Get out now and get on with your life.
2007-10-28 06:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by Pangloss (Ancora Imparo) AFA 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you've given it enough time trying and it just isn't working. You want other things out of life and you are wasting both of your time by staying with him for the wrong reasons. Get a divorce as quickly as possible, don't let things drag on, so that both of you can move forward into your separate futures. Avoid getting into new relationships until this one is completely over, because that will unnecessarily hurt a third party. I would also recommend counseling, whether you think there is a chance you two might be able to work out, or to help both of you accept the past, learn from your mistakes, and move on in a healthy way. Good luck to you.
PS Divorce is not as wrong as staying in an unhappy marriage forever with someone you know is not right for you. With divorce each of you has a chance to start over fresh and be happy. With staying together unhappily, there is no such chance.
2007-10-28 14:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, being separated is not the same as being single. While separated, the couple is still married, therefore neither party should be dating.
Whether the could should go back together is up to them. Perhaps marriage counseling would be a good idea.
If the counseling doesn't work, or shows them that it won't work, then a divorce could be the right choice for them.
2007-10-28 06:13:15 · answer #3 · answered by nymormon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
seems like you are quite incompatible .... why stay together if you make each other miserable... set him free.. in the end he'll be better off without you and I think you do know you'll be better off without him... Divorce... is not a condemnation to death.. it often leads to a door opening for life.... I would close that door if you are really looking to get some life back before you are too old... going forward carrying baggage gets burdensome after a while... cut the cord and go on... cause if you don't every relationship you begin will start to drown with the extra weight before it gets to far... the cord holding you back.... yadda yadda yadda
2007-10-28 06:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by Gyspy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good grief! Don't get back together out of sympathy. He's sad, but that's no reason for you to be unhappy your whole life. He'll get over it. Maybe he'll find someone else, and each of you will be happier than ever in your own separate ways.
Date and have fun. Life is for finding joy. Some sad situations arise along the way, but there's no need to chain yourself to them.
2007-10-28 06:16:12 · answer #5 · answered by KC 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should try to reconcile and see a Biblically based marriage counselor.
See the links below to find one.
Pastor Art
2007-10-28 06:13:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First you need to get over this thing about divorce being wrong. Staying in an unhappy marriage and torturing yourself is what's WRONG!
2007-10-28 06:12:31 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Resolve your current state before getting into other romantic involvements. But friendships could be helpful.
2007-10-28 06:16:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Resolve your current situation before you even THINK of dating. Divorce or reconcile, but don't drag another person into your little drama until it's concluded.
2007-10-28 06:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Paul said we must die daily. Jesus said to take up your cross. It's tough, but we must deny ourselves the sinful pleasures when our spouses do not do their duty.
Pray for strength, seek God for help. Its tough.
2007-10-28 06:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋