I was at a school dance yesterday. I asked a girl if she wanted to dance. she was around all her friends and when i asked her she said no quickly and acted like it never happened. With her being around her friends, does that lessen her chances of saying yes or does it not matter ? The wierd part is she knows I like her and when i was going up to get a drink, I heard one of her friends say I was up there getting a drink so it seemed like they wanted to know what i was doing at all times
2007-10-28 04:56:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Safe bet. Being around your friends ALWAYS makes you act a little differently, especially in high school(middle school? i'm assuming high school). But would she have said yes if her friends weren't around? Can't say for a fact, but its certainly possible that she would have.
2007-10-28 05:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by d_and_n5000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Definitely so.
This is the role of the "Wingman" when picking up a girl. Your best friend--the wingman--will position himself between your target and her friends. He'll distract and entertain them while you make your move. If she's only with one friend, the wingman will flirt with her, no matter how ugly. If she's with a group, the wingman will be the life of the party.
Without a wingman, your number one goal needs to be to "separate her from the herd."
Women will act totally different if they think that their friends know what they're doing. Their number one fear is a bad reputation. Whether being seen with the wrong guy(s) or going home with a guy from the bar, whatever. This behavior obviously starts young--I assume you're in HS--and it will last FOREVER.
In the case of the dance, just getting her a few meters from her friend may have helped your cause dramatically. There are a number of ways to do this, but ultimately if you're approaching her while she's in the group, and you need to pull her away, you need to use a "safe" excuse. Even a white lie:
In this example, imagine Jenni is your targets best friend, and she's not in the group that's surrounding our target. You'd say "Hey, Jenni asked me to come get you"
Then, when you walk a few feet, just say "Actually, I haven't seen Jenni all day, but I wanted to dance with you." She may go for it, she may not. But even if she doesn't, this gives you points with her. Women LOVE to dance. And you made a big DEAL out of dancing with HER.
Of course, if you don't have to lie, that's (usually) better. But don't hesitate to use white lies to your advantage.
Once everyone knows you're into her, you still need to respect the influence the "herd" has over her. You need to win over her key friends. Doing so will make your life SO MUCH EASIER. Women--ESPECIALLY young ones--will seldom go against the advice of her best friends when it comes to boys. Again, they don't want a bad reputation.
I hope this helps a bit. Every man who's ever hit-on any woman in a public place feels your pain, brother. Now practice the art of isolating your target and moving-in for the attack.
Cheers!
2007-10-28 12:10:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was probably embarrassed because all of her friends were not dancing and she was being picked out of a crowd. So, yes, being around them probably lessened your chances. She may have been caught off guard and just panicked. Next time, maybe try making it less public and she will be more willing to come and get down (on the dance floor) with you!
2007-10-28 12:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by Jules, E, and Liam :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are the bane of the dating scene - they either like you or don't - she needs to learn to do what she wants apart from them. It sounds like they were sizing you up since she is unsure of her own attraction and that means that if she does eventually say yes it may be "by committee" - always a slippery slope. Be happy though you are obviously a man of mystery and definitely on the scope. Good Luck!
2007-10-28 12:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are two answers to this, one your just extremely undesirable. or two her friends think that your not worth her time, usually this means her friends are single too.
But yes being around her friends does alter her response.
2007-10-28 12:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by AIR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sometimes they care more for what their friends than anything. It's the way of the world and part of growing up. Although, sometimes when you're "grown up" you still think you need to listen to what your "friends" think than what your loved ones think.
2007-10-28 12:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by jacquie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Games people play....,chances are she did want to dance but did not want to be seen with you,get a better girl....one that thinks and feels on her own............
2007-10-28 12:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by sirmrmagic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup. they do kiddo!!!! women
2007-10-28 12:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by steven d 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋