Is it possible to be in love with someone, but be confused about what you want?

Question

Is it possible for a 21 year old guy to be in a long term relationship (2 years) with someone that he considers "the love of his life", "his future wife" and his "soul mate" only to later on feel confused about what he wants?

My ex and I had, what seemed to be, an amazing relationship. I was his first love and he was mine. We were very close with each other's families, and spent alot of time together. We had a strong bond from the very first day that we met, and we also had an amazing sex life. (he said it ALL the time...I'm only mentioning that because I don't think that was an issue)

But after he started to meet new girls that were showing him and immense amount of attention, he is now confused about whether he is ready for a serious relationship or not. We are now broken up.

I am deeply hurt because I thought that we really loved each other. I feel that if he was truly honest about what I meant to him, he would not have the desire to be physical with others

He says he loves me and always will. Says that nothing can ever change that. I am having my doubts because I feel that no one would give up their "soul mate" just to experience other women. This all came to light when I foud out that he kissed someone else about a month ago. I broke up with him immdeiately, but we got back together soon after. After we reconciled, that's when he admitted that he loves me, but is just confused and wouldn't be able to live with himself if he cheated again. He wants to be friends, but I can't handle that right now, so I haven't spoken to him. Am I wrong for believing that he is lying to me when he tells me that he loves me?

Answer 1

I definetly believe that everyone has a soulmate. I think that you were his first love. But he is young. Most young guys go through a faze where they want to experiment other women.ALMOST all men go through that. He probably thinks you will be waiting around on him for when he is done playing around that he can run right back to you. You are better than that and i hope you move on. If you and him are meant to be and he is your soulmate you guys will be back together someday. I know it is easier said than done but please don't waste your time right now. Cause if you realize he is not your soulmate and you find yours than you will have wished not to waste so much time on him. Here is a little saying to remember........

If you love someone let him go
if you comes back he is yours
if he doesn't
he wasn't yours to begin with.......

Good luck! And I wish you the best!

Answer 2

First, there is no such thing as a soul mate. Second, he doesn't know what he wants. He loves you then as soon as other girls give him the time of day, he starts doubting things because he wants to play. It's been my experience that 21 year olds don't know what they want. Heck, I wasn't even sure 100% the type of person I wanted until I was in my 30s...then again, I was a late bloomer.

Find someone who's more into you than he just claims to be...actions are more important that words.

Answer 3

love isnt about feeling good and whatnot. love can also mean not feeling like u want the person..relatiosnhips arent about feelings,its about commitment. feelings come and go and sometimes makes u think u dont want ur partner,but you know what drew you both together in the first place. you know they are as human as you are.but its compatibility and understanding and so much more.

I think he lacked that.i think he still wants to be noticed and feel the attention rather than settling for one girl. He doesnt seem mature yet to have a serious relationship. And its not your fault. Like I said, love isnt about feelings. If he LOVED you he wouldntve hurt you. I dont buy that "I still love u and you will always be in my heart" crap. there was a reason he couldnt give it everything he had for you. He could have been using you for the physical things rather than focusing on the emotional. Im sorry,girl. He wasnt faithful and he didnt show his love for you. He seems like so many other guys these days...

Every girl deserves a better man.

You need to be with someone who UNDERSTANDS you and respects you. Not use you and throw away everything you had given. Its also wise to evaluate your relationship frequently and see where yall stand. It must seem like everything is great only because you want to see it that way when its not.So be honest with yourself.

Answer 4

Love is an amorphous concept, to begin with. As to its true form, there'll always be varying opinions. If someone tells you that you are confusing the two, what will be the justification? In the end, all that matters between people is companionship and compatibility, if you have that, no one is to say you don't love her, and there is only ever one way to find out.

Answer 5

Your first relationship is most of the time very sweet, i love you bla bla bla, all mush. Most people confuse that with love when it isn't. Love comes with time, lots of it.

Is is completely possible for him to change his mind. It is natural to want to have other experiences and its deffinitely natural that if other girls are hitting on him that he may respond. Thats just how it is. Even more so for 20 sometings.

You are right for not believing what he says. Maybe its time for you to start moving on. Meet other people. I believe there are tons of people with whom you can feel as you felt with this guy. Dont be sad, go out and experience life

Answer 6

I really don't think he lied when he told you that he loves you, but I do believe that he needs to experience his life as do you. You're both very young. Take time to live a little before you tie yourselves down. I hope this helps a little.

Answer 7

keep an eye on hm cuz in the future altho he said some wicked stupid stuff he still has feelings for u guaranteed

Answer 8

Possible?

Hellfire, that's humanity's default state.