Hurtful remarks about Christmas gifts?

Question

This is daft but it has got to me a little.
To me Chrristmas is mainly about seeing family and for the kiddies to have pressies.
MY future sister in law is a real snob and seems to always make some kind of horrible remark about the family or what gifts she gets from us or the parents.
The other day she said " Ill be happier with money or vouchers than the cheap tat we usually get!......
I was speechless as we usually spend about 30-40 on each person!
what do you think? I feel like not bothering to get her anything this year but fear that would look bad.

AJ I agree...it is always good to know what people want for a gift BUT there is a nice way of saying it surely?

Answer 1

Give her £30 vouchers for Tescos, the snotty btich.

You know, i would tell my brotherr and my mum what she said and let her get fcuk all this year.
I always get crappy presents from my mum-in-law (we alldo) but that is half the fun, and the best bit is getting together and seeing who has got what.

Are her presents any better? When you open your gift from her, you could just look at it, smile really fakely than say "Oh, another one".

God, this question has made my BLOOD BOIL!!!

Answer 2

30 to 40 pounds per person is a generous figure; especially as families always seem to be so big at Christmas...if you tell the adults that it is time to stop buying presents for each other..except perhaps a token gift such as a box of chocolates or something of that price range, and focus on the kids instead, that will let you off the hook. On the other hand, why let some ill-mannered person who is not even a part of your family yet change the way you do things? Some people find it much harder to take gracefully than to give and some are just plain rude, if you give this woman money or vouchers she will be able to ***** about how little you all value her and you will be no better off! Why not get her a box of perfume miniatures from Boots or your local perfumier or chemist? A really good one..ie, Dior etc., will be just within your price range but it will give you the opportunity of smiling at her and explaining that as you have so much trouble deciding what she likes, you thought that a selection of good quality perfume would give her the chance to find out and let you know for future reference. If she does let you know then there are always talcs and soap and lotions as well as perfume in every range, so you won't be stuck having to spend a fortune on her
and,you never know, she may think that this is a really thoughtful and welcome gift. Whatever you do and however she responds, be ready for the negative and then ignore it, you have better things to do at Christmas than get upset about her!

Answer 3

Although you may feel like it now, I wouldn't not her a gift, if you are getting the rest a gift. You don't want a argument to erupt on christmas day, because the blame will all be put back on you.
Get her a gift, just don't buy her a very expensive one. And maybe you should have said something at the time. She seems really rude, just ignore her.

Answer 4

I understand you, my cousin said it too, when we bought some clothes for her baby... "I see you bought it in a supermarket, that's not good quality"..

Then, we didn't buy anymore something for my cousin...

I can say you, buy her a very cheap gift, like a Christmas cup or just a chocolate box... Or say her that you'll enjoy to bring her gift (if she doesn't like it) to homeless persons, or living in shelters...

Perhaps can you buy her too, a book about etiquette, and good manners ? She'll perhaps understand the message...

At last, I'm against the fact to giving money. I think it's not a good way. Vouchers, mmmh, after, she could do remarks about the shop...

Answer 5

It's not daft at all, I'd feel just the same.

Gifts are given to show you like the person, to make them feel loved and appreciated, usually - it's not meant to be about how much you spend, or buying them exactly what they perceive as desirable.

Frankly, your future sister-in-law sounds a nasty piece of work. I feel sorry for your brother, he must have a hard time. Don't change what you buy for her, and don't just give her money or vouchers - you buy what you want to give her. Someone mentioned earlier about donating to charity and giving her a card to tell her where the money went - I think that's an excellent idea. If she asks about it, I'd say simply - well I thought I'd send the money where it's appreciated.

Try not to feel bad about what she said - she sounds like she has her own issues and doesn't deserve the time and effort you make for her.

Answer 6

I'd get every one else a gift but her she sound a real cow, if she says anything about where her gift is just reply ''i didn't see the point in bothering seeing as you didn't appreciate it anyway'' that way you save money and she has less 'cheap tat' i would also be hurt.

edit...... have to say brilliant answer buy hatterette!!!!!!!

Answer 7

My sister in law used to get good stuff off us, but we would get rubbish back.We are not wealthy, but she is (and no wonder as every coin is a prisoner to her) So I have stopped buying.Some folks seem to forget the true meaning of the Festive Season don't they? I'd rather have nothing to be honest.I buy what I need, I don't wait for people to get me things for Christmas.Either get her vouchers,or don't bother.I think the amount you spent was generous, but if it's not appreciated then tell her you want to put a stop to buying gifts/vouchers.
I have asked for no birthday gifts, but people insist on putting money in my cards so I donate it to Breast Cancer charities.

Answer 8

I think she's right really. I think a token gift for adults and presents for the children. Also if you are a large family then agree to concentrate more on the celebration. Not every one has 30 or 40 pounds or dollars to spend on loved ones. It makes it OK for the more wealthy ones but a real struggle for the ones who don't have much. Christmas is over commercialised. It makes it a greedy celebration not a life celebration.

I think you may have to re consider your view of her, and find out what she's really getting at. Why don't you make an agreement between you two that you will exchange cards and just spend on the children. She may feel that you value her opinion then.

Answer 9

I like the "gift to charity" idea. Since she doesn't like the cheap gifts, the homeless and poor would love to get anything that was offered. I have not liked lots of gifts.. ugh grandma's sweaters.. But I'd NEVER EVER tell her. For goodness sake THAT is tackier than any cheap gift!

Answer 10

I'd stop giving her gifts. Otherwise, to match her remark I'd get something cheap and tatty. Honestly, don't waste your time giving anything to her...it should keep her mouth closed.