Depression....?

Question

I feel so depressed... My ex won't talk to me anymore, and I miss her so much. I tried to apologize to her, but she hates me now. I want to be a good friend to her, but she won't let me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I still love her in my heart, but she doesn't seem to care about me anymore the way I care about her. I use to be good with resolving conflicts with other people, but this time around no matter what I try it doesn't do any good, and I feel so miserable and worthless.

Why does everyone always suggest moving on... and what the heck does it really mean anyway. To find a new love? I'm definately NOT ready for a new love... I want to work things out with my ex, I just don't know how!

Answer 1

The first thing you should understand is that there is no way of working things out if she is not receptive to working it out. I've been where you are and a lot of times still where you are. It's been 4 years since my wife cheated and we parted ways. There was no discussing anything. All she ever said was " you treated me good and I can't say anything bad about you". Then she shut down any conversation about this matter. The pain will go on as long as you allow it. Even counselling will do nothing for you until you allow yourself to let go and move ahead and do for yourself with her out of the picture. You will sit in counselling and just think that there is no one who understands and that there is nobody who can come up with a plan specific to you to get you past this. I've been there myself. I literally fell apart both physically and emotionally. Don't let the pain of your love for her absorb your day and life. Realize that she has shut you out and no matter how much you want to resolve things ... she dosen't .. and it takes two who are receptive to making everything work to heal the damage that's been done. Even when you feel you are ready to move on you may feel you are living a lie because you don't feel the love for the next lady in your life as you did for her. It takes a long time my friend .. I really feel for you. I would suggest staying single until you have totally accepted your single life ... if not you'll feel even worse that you can't give your all to the next possible relationship. It is human nature to compare your next partner to your previous partner. Just don't do it verbally. You'll find for a while that you are guarding every word you say in a new relationship because your thoughts will at times wander back to your ex. It's a very difficult spot to be in. You need to think with your head and not your heart ... just don't let your heart become hardened or you may miss some happier times ahead. Good luck my friend.

Answer 2

It's a shame when some people are truly hurting and are asking for a little help or advise and you get some really heartless people on here with their mean or insensitive answers. Like the one above that is telling you to move on there are more women out there for you like you don't know that.
I don't know what you did to her but i will tell you this if you cheated on her you might as well forget about her because once you hurt us it's over. You need to understand women and the way we are,when you say you love us we can't understand how you can just turn away from us and break our hearts. To say you are sorry after all the pain you've caused isn't enough after all just saying I'm sorry is just words.
If you want her forgiveness you need to show her,have you tried sending her flowers or how about writing her a letter and share your feelings with her. You would be surprised just how effective little things like that can be.

Answer 3

Dont be shes an ex already, move on with life, start a brand new relationship and this time be sure not to do those things that you have done in your previous relationship, its just normal for your ex to hate you, you probably did something stupid to her and that she was able to kill her love for you because of your own doing. Try not to daydream that one day you two would end up together again its not a good thing to do it would just hurt you more. Go find your own life and your own girl and allow your ex to have her own life and who knows in the future find the perfect pershon who would love her more than you did.

Answer 4

No one is understanding you properly. Life is not a table tennis board that for every hit you punch another. Your love is true and genuine. So you need to sacrifice. She is somewhere hurt by your past acts. It needs healing.She is too much sentimental and your act has hit her there. So now you have to win her. To gain pity from her you have to start self punishment to yourselves. Do not eat grow beard and do such other acts you feel good to draw her attention. But one thing do not tell her you are sorry until the time ripes. She is bound to come to you and ask you what is this. That time you tell that you are punishing yourself because you have hurt your sweet heart without whom you cannot stay. So you need hard patience as it may take months even years. Continue remaining in front of her eyes.

Answer 5

I am more or less in your situation.I understand how you feel bro.I think Rick H gave you and myself the best answer on how to deal and face our current situation.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

Move on. There are plenty of other women out there for you!! Good luck =]

Answer 7

Let it go. Your ex decided to hold a grudge. There is nothing more you can do.

Answer 8

You can't please everyone or even be liked by everyone. Find your self worth from inside you. As for your depression, see a counsellor or doctor. Good luck!

Answer 9

agree with teenie