They've been separated for 5 months. He was cheating on her with me when his wife was pregnant...I don't know why she left. They also have 2 children together. I've moved into the house with him and he tells me they are getting a divorce. Ok, I haven't seen any papers served to him, I haven't heard him talk about the steps he's taking to initiate it. I mean it's almost been 5 months! She even moved to another state with their children. He told her to file but she won't because I guess because she doesn't want a divorce. I check his phone sometimes and he doesn't call her but he does answer when she calls him. Is he just lazy, I mean I know it is expensive to get a lawyer but there are ways you can do it yourself for a much cheaper price. I want him to marry me. Why doesn't he just get off his *** and divorce her? Like I said it's ben 5 months and she's miles and miles away!
2007-10-27 20:17:25 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok...thanks for the replies. Well I don't know how long exactly but I say can't be more than 4 years from the pics I have seen of their son he's almost 2 and half years old. Nah, I know he doesn't call her but SHE's the one always calling him, texting him. The last text I even saw she told him that she's accpeted him not wanting her and that if he wants a divorce then to handle his business because this is what HE wants.
Well I thought I am important to him because he decided to leave his wife and children to be with me.
2007-10-27 20:36:16 · update #1
I don't understand why people like you want to be with a guy who has cheated on his pregnant wife. Don't be surprised if he does it to you...
2007-10-27 20:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but if he cheated on her for you how do you know he's not cheating on you. Believe me it happens. I was in that kind of realtionship and he likes it that he is still married and there is no commitment. He won't marry you. If he want to he would have done it along time ago. If you live here in california it take 6 months for a divorce to become final. So you would have to wait that amount of time to get married again anyway. And she can use the children as a tool to reel him back in. So If you have nothing on your side she has all the cards in her hand and if you nag way to much he may just go back to his wife. The grass is not always greener on the other side and he may see that. If I were you I'd become single again and look for someone that will love you with no attachments. Because to those kids you will be known always as a home wrecker and never recover ever. So at this point you are not looking at the whole big picture. So you are the one losing so why wait around. Get a good man not one that is going to be always reaching. One a cheater always a cheater. Wake up babe.
2007-10-27 20:34:40 · answer #2 · answered by Di B 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well technically, he didn't leave his wife and children to be with you........ she left him and moved to another state from what you wrote.
as far as her calling him all the time...... she has every right to. that's still her husband. and they have children together. come on now, be serious. she can call that man all day and all night if she wants to..... and what can you really do about it??? not a damn thing. what get mad and talk about it on YA?? lol.
anywho, i dont know what state you are in, but here in DC, you have to file for a legal seperation and remain seperated for a year before you file for a divorce. I dont know the laws in your state. But if he was gung ho on marrying you.... like you want him to be, he would've done something by now (considering he didn't even leave his wife... she left him)
Do i think he's gonna divorce her??? just off what you've posted, Hell no. why should he?? you were more than willing to pursue a relationship with him while he had a wife (who was pregnant etc). You were cool with being the other women so why should he make you anything more than that now??? that's your role "the other women" learn it, live it, play it and be happy with it.... why?? because you excepted those terms from the giddy up.
btw. if by a snowballs chance in hell he does divorce his wife and marry you, remember what goes around comes around. and it wont be long before he's stepping out on you with somebody else...... why?? because you've already planted the seed telling him that you're cool with sharing a man. You act as though you dont deserve better, and his sorry azz aint gonna go out of his way to give it to you.
2007-10-27 21:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Jackson - West 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? He hasn't even been single yet and you're wanting him to marry you? Don't you think he's going to be cheating on you since he cheated on her and when she was pregnant no less! You obviously don't trust him if you're checking his phone. How do you know he's not deleting her calls? If he was serious about wanting a divorce, he'd do it. It's not expensive at all. Especially since the cheating bastard let his kids leave the state. All he has to do is fill out the papers that he can get online from the state's superior court website and file. It's will cost around $50 and that includes all the copies he will have to make of the forms. And like that other person said...be patient. You're going to get EXACTLY what you deserve. Homewrecker.
2007-10-27 20:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
So, they have 3 kids together, with one being an infant. He cared enough about her to make a baby with her within the last year. You cheated with him knowing his wife was pregnant. Ok, is he planning to not ever see his children? Get out of paying child support. When he files for divorce, he has to decide all of these things.
You have the morals of an ally cat, and he is going to pay through the nose to be with you. Yeah, he's going to go right out there and file for divorce.
Oh, and good luck being a step mom to children that will no doubt love you for screwing with their father before he divorced their mother. You are going to be really respected.
LEAVE NOW. Once he has filed for divorce and everything has been settled, then see if you have a realationship. Otherwise think about what your relationship has already been based on lies, deception and adultry.
2007-10-27 20:45:16 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
oh dear,
quite a mess you got yourself into.
You and him are both responsible for e destruction of a marriage, do you think it'll be easy for either one of them to do. You just expect him to throw away his relationship in a heart beat and just pretend nothing happened and are you happy and sleep soundly knowing that you had caused a divorce and a heartbreak to someone who worked hard and even had kids with a man she loved. How will you explain to yourself that this is the man you're in love with or better yet if you have his kid and tell them of their half siblings.
Divorces that include children can take years before they are actually finalized.
Just my two cent but: if you truly love this man, why don't you let him go and actually help him get his life back together with his wife and kids rather than continuing this adultery which might turn out for the worst in the long run, i mean you cheated with him knowing that he's married. Use your morals and help him in return to do the same
2007-10-27 20:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by bEiNg DiScIpLiNeD 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You want to marry a man that cheated on his pregnant wife? You better think about this. She probably told him to file because the last I knew whoever filed paid for it. If he files she can get a lawyer or not. He has no motivation to get divorced. He already has her gone and you there. What does he need a divorce for? You do realize that sooner or later he will cheat on you also? Hope for the best.
2007-10-27 20:39:27 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I just left my hubby. I live in Canada and here in Canada you need to be separated for a year before you can file for divorce, unless one spouse was cheating. But if the spouse that didn't do the cheating doesn't file, then you have to wait for a year.
I don't know the laws where you live but something like this might be a possibility.
2007-10-28 01:46:52 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's being lazy, I just think that he doesn't want to say goodbye to her just yet. 5 months isn't that long to let go of a marriage. You didn't mention how long he was married, but it does take a long while to get over these things. Just because you're living with him there is no guarantee that he won't go back to her just yet. I think this is his way of holding on to that as an option.
Yes, he moved you in. Yes, he may not call her as often as you think (he might be sneaking out to call her from another phone...does he have a phone at work he could use to call long distance?) but he could be wise to the fact that you're checking his cell and deleting his records.
I wouldn't pressure him if I were you. Again, just because he moved you in doesn't mean that he's going to give up on her altogether.
2007-10-27 20:23:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He didn't leave his wife and child to be with you...you moved into his home that was vacated by his wife and child. There IS a difference. Why doesn't he divorce his wife and marry you? I don't know of any self respecting man who would divorce his wife to marry a whore...he might divorce her but it is very rarely will a man marry the woman he cheated on his marriage with. You're just a stepping stone to his freedom to look for independent, intelligent women with morals, values and self respect. He isn't going to want someone who would live with a married man, waiting for him to divorce his wife. Like I said no self respecting man wants a whore. They just use them.
2007-10-27 23:08:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a selfish,home wrecker and adultress.
How could you go with a married man who s wife was pregnant and is now alone with her kids because of you.You expect him to have no contact with them or talk about his childrens welfare. Why the insecurities she lives so far away
You are wondering why she left? give me a break.
Do you really think that he is commited beacause you moved in to his family home , he is probably enjoying the free home service, cleaning, cooking,sex etc.
If he wIll cheat with you then be sure he is going to cheat on you be prepared.
I just hope you are not pregnant by then.
2007-10-28 06:38:16 · answer #11 · answered by Pauline B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋