Hi, when my husband was going through his divorce with his ex, she gave her wedding band and engagement ring back to him. The engagment ring is a beautiful - 2 carat diamond and white gold....and as terrible as it is to say...I nearly love it more than my engagment ring. I go to it often to look at it and try it on. I don't feel like by doing so I'm bringing myself any bad luck, but I do feel guilty that I'm admiring something that isn't mine. The thing is...I'd love to have it (even though I wear yellow gold), or love to have the diamonds taken out and a new ring designed from it. I have no idea how to approach this topic with my husband though. And even if he'd go for it, he's very conservative. I told him I found the ring and didn't let on I knew whose it was. He told me that he bought it for some other woman in his past and now has no purpose for it. He said he is thinking about selling it. I would hate for him to sell it...what do I do?
2007-10-27 19:18:09 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be honest. Just tell your husband that you want to wear the ring. Sure, it's unusual, but it isn't wrong. Heck, either he, or his ex had good taste in jewelery. I wouldn't be bothered if it was me. So, tell him. What do you have to lose?
2007-10-28 00:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well It Kinda goes a little something like this....
"Let IT GO".....
Often times we can be carrying on to the past, and the past can keep us from getting to the present or the future....
Truth is You lied to him about the ring, and He lied to you about the ring.... "Quite naturally a LIE don't care who tell it".... But somebody better start standing for the truth..
A ring is a ring, whether its 2,3,4,5.... carat diamonds.... "meaning".... it's all material.... and you can't be the real thing,,,,, and that's the Truth...... The Truth is the ring need to be out of sight and out of mind.....
I know this isn't bringing you no peace, because you are truly concerned with the matter at hand...
An ex- ring is not worth coming between your marriage. I am sure that he lied to you because he didn't want you thinking that he was holding on to the past.... but if he still has the ring, doesn't it make you question??? If the ex- is no where near an issue...... then it should be simple, easy, and not a problem to let it go.....
I have learned that the truth will always set you free, be honest with your husband, tell him that you know who the ring belong to, and then sell it, and invest in something, or put the money into an account for a rainy day or something.
Keep it real, and you both will be able to sleep peaceably at night.
Best wishes to you and your husband!
4 Real Peace
2007-10-27 19:37:07 · answer #2 · answered by 4 Real Peace 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him exactly what you just told this little world. If it doesn't bother you that it was his ex's ring, ask him if it would bother him if you wore it. You don't even have to use it as an engagement ring but as a ring for another hand.
You can bring it up by saying " you know that ring I found, well, instead of selling it I was wondering how you felt if I wore it. I really think it's so beautiful and I would love to wear it."
Make sure it wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable. Tell him you know who's it was and get it all out on the table. If you will admire it and hold it dear, I'm sure he'll think it's wonderful!
2007-10-27 19:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh the lines of communication don't seem to be open between you and hubby. If you really like the ring, have it redesigned for yourself or just use the diamond if you prefer yellow gold instead of white.
Don't know why you feel guilty for liking the ring, tell your husband that you don't want him to sell it and would like to use the diamond to enhance your own engagement ring. Doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
Why all the mystery about you not knowing where it came from?
2007-10-27 19:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by amber c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will always advise the truth. It works best, in the end. Why not just tell your husband that you love the stone and would really really like to have that stone set into the ring he gave you? Then if he wanted, he could the other stone and ring mounted and just sell it. Or trade it in for a companion ring for you! His response will guide you in this, and I wouldn't push this too far, but still, he got his ex a better ring!!!! Never let on you know it is his ex's, or he will think jealousy immediately, and that will ruin everything.
2007-10-27 19:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly why it is considered bad luck. Think about this hard you feel that the other rings are more beautiful and better than yours and you want them. Have you considered how this may make your husband feel not to mention the heavy emotions involved ( I mean this man held on to them for this long.)? Do you really want to walk around with a symbol (even if changed) of your husband's feelings toward another woman? I suggest you look for a totally new ring to adorn your finger.
2007-10-27 19:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by calmlikeatimebomb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl encourage the man to sell the darn ring and get it out of the middle of your marriage. The man's mind would have to be on the woman to hold on to the ring. Why would you not let him know that you are aware of who the ring belonged to in the pass? This marriage is full of dishonesty. And for sure will come to an end one day. Both of you need to get it together while it has an opportunity too.
2007-10-27 19:59:56 · answer #7 · answered by MS Williams 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That ring seems to be a link to his past, and a past that obviously wasn't a happy one. If you were to ask him to take the diamonds out of the ring and put it on yours, I think that simply the nostalgia alone would hurt him. I think it's best to let him sell it, do you really wanted to be constantly reminded of his ex?
Also, what the ring represents is way more important than how it looks.
2007-10-27 19:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by Danielle M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to cut the umbilical cord and let go of that ring! By keeping it, he is holding on to the past. Not fair to you!!!! He needs to sell that ring and take you on a vacation with the money he makes from it, or buy you a new diamond ring. BUT YOU HUBBY REALLY NEEDS TO GET RID OF THAT RING, it is like a black cloud lingering on your marriage.
2007-10-27 19:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your husband. Selling it is a good idea.
It will take your mind off of it.
If he's willing to have it reset and you don't seem to have
any problems with this; talk it over with your husband and
tell him about your feelings.
Don't keep it to yourself, this is something a married
couple need to share. Don't let it eat you up.
What do you have to lose? It never belonged to you in
the first place, so any comprizes belongs in your marriage.
Take it slow, no tears, honesty between partners builds
a stronger marriage
Good Luck
2007-10-27 19:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋