Why is it that all the good men get cr-apped on?

Question

Why is it the good men can never find a forever love the first time around time after time I see good men get cr-apped on by vicious nastey women? I guess the only good thing is the women usually never get lucky 2 times around they end up with a real loser the 2nd time around?

Vise versa it is the same with women the good women always get a jerk the first time around it seems like!

yea,I am a little bitter not for me though I have a good man but it is also my 2nd time around he got lucky his first time with me lol!

But I just see so many people on here broken hearted from someone doing them wrong and it is a little bothersome!

Answer 1

I think because too many people settle, rather than wait for the right one.

Answer 2

I was lucky enough to have a great guy the first time around. We were together for three years, he was so respectful that we didn't even get deeply intimate for the first year. We had to go our separate ways after high school, I still love him and miss him. He's married now, and I'm finally engaged with a decent guy after going through two JERKS.

But like I said I was lucky, from what I've seen it's usually true what you say. There are a lot of horrible, vicious females out there who take a guy with a good heart and leave him wounded and cynical so that by the time a good girl finds him he's become devensive and difficult to open up. Love is a cruel game.

Answer 3

I have been in the same situations a few times. Unfortnunately society is programmed to fly wild and free and to some that means taking advantage of those who actually mean well and are good-hearted.. There are people out their that are not concerned about consequences and will walk over anybody that they can, in order to get what they
want .Good people generally are very complimentary to assisting those that seems to need their help, therefore they leave themsleves open for abuse and negelect. They lack the maturity, trust and vision to have feelings for others who have superior intellibence to know better. Realationships are meant to be complmentary of each other, but far to often someone will take advantage of the bond and step over the line in which they then become the aggressor and become the demon they choose to be. They need to be in charge or the constant the leader . This applies to both sexes and is always a deal breaker.

Answer 4

Well, maybe those good men are not that good. I'm not really sure how you define good men, but I've dated the stereotypical 'good man' you know the chivalrous fool who is ridiculously polite in the company of women, pays for all the dates, opens doors etc. and believe me I was never so bored with a man in my life! I just used him for a few free meals and some drinks and pretended I was a good and proper lady, so whenever he tried to kiss me I'd say, "Oh no, not yet!" Then stopped returning his calls. Other women I'm sure would use him further. You see, women don't actually like being bored to death or treated like they're delicate flowers or house pets. We enjoy men who treat us like equals or like anyone else, men who will speak their mind and relax around us even if us women do have vaginas! If that's a jerk, and to many it is, screw 'em!

Now, if you're talking about real jerks, the abusive type, well some women have this fantasy that they can 'save' a man from himself. Many men have this same fantasy to be the knight in shining armour saving a woman from her situation too and both usually end up with regrets. It roots in romantic notions that love can conquer all and it's really very sad.

Answer 5

Well.... I don't think this is really accurate. Sometimes it seems like it because an abusive relationship is so... um.... public. You really notice when a guy is henpecked, or a woman is controlled by an overbearing guy.

Usually, this only happens when the 'victim' allows it. You really can be a nice guy, but refuse to put up with the BS.

i am on my 2nd (and last ever) marriage. I'm not proud of it, but my first marriage was a disaster. I was a nice guy who got pushed around, criticized, and taken for granted by my crazed extremist wife. Well, she wasn't really horrible at first, but it was an illness that got much worse over our 12 year marriage. I was always one for backing down in order to keep the peace. She was out of control, and I didn't stop her.

So.... although I was cr-apped on... it was with my cooperation. So I contributed to it.

My present wife is an angel. She has never tried to change me. She accepts me as I am. She trusts me. She looks up to me and is proud to be my wife. She makes me want to be a better man.

Answer 6

You do make a pretty valid point,but don't give up hope.I had a brother who was always shy around girls in high school,but did ask a few out anyway,usually he was rejected and the women seemed to have jerks for boyfriends,but as my brother became an adult he started to go to church and even though he was still shy he asked this one girl out and to his surprise she said ,yes. A few years earlier he had said that he would never get married or have a girlfriend. well, that brings me back to my story,that woman that said yes, to my brother ,Ended up saying yes forever when he asked her to marry him. It took ten years for him to find the love of his life and they have been married ,happily for about 16 years now. WHAT IS MY POINT? Don't give up hope some day the right person will come along,but in the meantime,just keep trying and hoping that the right one is the next one you are around.

Answer 7

Because good young women fall for the exciting guys. The guys that are "dangerous." These also happen to be the same guys that will treat them like crap.

During this time, the good men only have the bad women to choose from, because the good women won't give them the time of day.

In other words, it's the fault of the women. If they'd give the good man a chance, this whole cycle could be broken.

Answer 8

Sometimes people get married to young and for all the worng reason thats why it is so much heart break out there because people are really not letting them true selves be known until they are married.

Thats why you have to be really sure if this is the person you really want to spend your life with. It's hard to find a good man these days but you will no when you find him just take your time.

best of luck

Answer 9

Oh, sweeite! I know what you mean. My boyfriend is that guy. But think of it this way. You guys (and girls) get chicken the first time around so you can learn and appreciate a steak when it comes around.

My boyfriend was with his old girl for 11 years and she cheated and left him at the alter. He met me a few years later and has never been happier. He didn't know what he was missing and neither did I.

Things don't work out for a reason, it doesn't always mean you were crapped on. It's usually a part of life.

Answer 10

Part of the problem is finding out why you are attracted to women that eventually 'defecate' on you... a truly unfortunate choice of analogies, I might add.

I get a little tired of hearing people beating their chests and wailing "Woe is me. I have once again been treated poorly by a dastardly member of the opposite sex who ravished me, took advantage of me, then left me alone...desolate. Is there no justice in this life?" Baloney.

There must be something about those types of people that you find attractive...at least, to begin with. You need to do some self-analysis and find out why that is. I have a dear female friend of mine that has had two marriages and one long-standing relationship fall apart... and each of the men was either an alcoholic or a drug addict. Why? Because she wanted to save them(!)

I have a male friend that is on his second marriage - falling apart - because he finds head-strong, independent, career-minded women to be a huge turn-on. Result? The leave him because he becomes "too clingy and needy and tries to change me into a stay-at-home mom".

Time to call time out, big guy, and see why you are doing this to yourself. In the meantime, I'll continue to work on my book: "Good Guys, Stupid Choices" (there's a book close to this title that has already been written about women).

Answer 11

Set your priorities first. What do you like in a girl. Are you overeaching? By that I mean does it have to be the prettiest
girl? There are as many nasty men as there are women.
It takes awhile to find the right one. Keep trying. Find
someone who is interested in your hobbies, what makes you
happy, what makes her happy.
Ppl don't seem to have the time to talk anymore.
Look at some of your good friends, women can be great
friends too. Go on as many cofee dates (a manner of speech)
don't limit yourself to one girlfriend only. Love, and friendship,
honesty go hand in hand. Take time to think about your
expectations of the women you date. Their expectations of what they want from you.
Good Luck