I want to get a divorce but I dont even know where to start.?

Question

I haven't told my husband yet and I don't know how to. I want out of this marriage so bad but I am so scared of all the consequences once I speak my mind and tell him I want to leave. I know this will devestate my children and I am worried about how expensive it will be. I have been in an unhappy marriage for the past 8 years and I just want to get on with my life.

Answer 1

oh honey, sounds like your miserable. so, only and only if you have done all you can do, and you must leave. Well, first you have to tell him, then the children, and it would probably help to tell any family members who might take it hard too.

Then you need to find you a lawyer and go and have a meeting. Or vise versa if he is a real jerk, like mine was and than going to the lawyer's office is the first thing you have to do, because they will tell you what to do next.

And last but not least, hold on for a long, emotionally-draining roller coaster ride. . . because, someone told me when I first left my ex-husband. . . "no one wins in a divorce." And they were so right about that, that I wish I could tell you different.

Lastly, pray a lot.

good luck 2 you.

Answer 2

Since I couldn't tell which State you are in, I'll start with 3 options:
attorney, paralegal (some limitations), do it yourself (sounds like not the right option here). the first thing a paralegal will ask is how long you have been married (8+), if there are children involved (2+) Do you have any proof of infidelity, child neglect, police reports of crimes involving spousal abuse or medical visits that would make your spouse not the better choice for child custody. Make sure these don't burn you as well. One more quick point: attorneys bargain with opposing attorneys irregardless of who should win in order to effect a quicker solution (thus getting him/her paid more quickly) You have to be prepared for all consequences like losing your house or children. there may be restriction on what you /he can do with the children during the divorce. Child support attys are in court day after day and see and know each other and the judges well. This is just an overview and I am not a professional in this situation.

Answer 3

You should only get a divorce if your husband has committed adultery. That is the only reason God gives for divorce.

You have vowed to stay with your husband for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until death do you part. You must honor your wedding vows.

Your children will be the ones who suffer the most if you divorce your husband. Divorce brings on a whole new set of problems, maybe worse than the ones you are complaining about now.

If your husband has not committed adultery and you divorce him, anyone you are with after him, even if you marry them you will be committing adultery and you will cause them to commit adultery also.

Do what ever you have to, to make your marriage better. You should take a good look at what you are doing and see if you can change some of it for the better. That often times will change your husband.

You should treat him like you want to be treated. You need to be kind, caring, giving, tolerant, patient, understanding, selfless, slow to anger and quick to forgive.

You will want to give your children a good example. They need to see that when you make vows that you stick by them. That you don't just consider your own happiness, and cut and run when the going gets tough, but that you hang in there and do what ever you have to, to keep your word.

Answer 4

The best way of all is to tell him that you want out of the marriage even though you feel it is hard to do. if you have no differences and can settle things between you instant of fighting over things then you can get a quick and easy divorce that does not cost so much, but if you have problems about certain things then it will end up costing you a lot. so... It is much better to handle your differences without a lawyer!!!

Answer 5

before you make this move, think about how it afects your children, if you have been in an unhappy marriage maybe its not only your spouses fault, that is not a reasonable reason to want because there is no fun, if it is unhappy talk to your husband first tell him how you feel but dont mention divorce.
PLEASE think about this hard, take some time.

Answer 6

Have you tried all the usual things to see if you can save your marriage? Have you spoken to your Doctor? A lot of your unhappiness could be caused by depression and is certainly treatable. Call an attorney if you really want out.......figure at least a few thousand dollars for fees.

Answer 7

I would say try to work it out. You didn't say what was making you unhappy, but think about your children and the commitment you made to your husband and to God when you got married. It's best to just try and work it out if you can.

Answer 8

divorce rules vary from country to country,what country are you in?best to know the law that governs your country &/or state about it.
ask yourself as well if you really are ready to go for it,considering you had kids & if your husband may act violent when you open up the subject to him,to which it may be best for you to move out & find a safe place for you & your kids before starting the divorce process once you decided its final.change jobsif youre working as well as contact numbers & have enough cash ready as well.
well,whatever your decision may be,seek legal advice before you proceed.
hope this helps.

Answer 9

You start by getting a lawyer, you don't have to tell your husband anything, you don't need his permission to get a divorce.

Answer 10

You start with a divorce lawyer and talk it over with them.