This Question is only for mature individuals,I have a question regarding my marriage?

Question

I'm going to go straight to the point.
I was going through my husband's phone ( I was very bored).
& I found a naked picture of a model.
Then i browsed through his pictures, & there was 2 pictures of naked girls, The thing is, it looked like he had taken them from the computer because little lines appeared.Meaning, that he was looking at them online.& took pictures of the naked girls.
After i seen them, i did not mention them.
I feel very different towards him, In a way like he betrayed me.I kinda of feel hate towards him.
Please feel free to give your opinion/advice.Thank you in advance.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I'm good looking :) , our marriage is great , the sex is awesome.That is why i dont get it???

Answer 1

First of all, you should not be going through his phone. That's a serious breech of trust right there.

It's a little odd that he has them, but if they are of models and he got him off the Internet what's the big deal? We are all human and we all appreciate looking at attractive people. If it was naked pics of, say, his coworkers or something that would be an issue. But you still snooped in his phone and that is not OK.

Answer 2

I think it was dumb on his part. Have the two of you discussed porn, and come to any agreement? Porn can be taken in a lot of different ways, and can actually be used as a tool. I do not advocate it, but it is nonetheless there. Thus, use it for the better good of your relationship. Unless you are strongly opposed, and even if you are, watching porn with your spouse is a very useful tool. It can be used to see what his interests are, what his fantasies are, and also can be used to communicate your own. Even if it is just an Eww thats gross type thing. He will notice. He may point out something and say what do you think about it.
The point I try to make here, is that guys in general look at it. And in most cases, it has no effect on a relationship, unless one is strongly opposed to it and the other does it anyway, on the sly, and gets caught. The idea is to use it in a positive way, to reinforce your relationship, and not let a thing like this ruin it. The spin you use on this matter will greatly affect your future, so I would give this some real thought. My wife caught me looking at porn, and blew a gasket, so to speak. She has never forgiven me, barely talks to me, and won't let me explain that I would never ever cheat on her. It's funny, In a way, because I feel the one betrayed. So, decide what you will do, but if he is a good man, talk it out, please!!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I've gone through a very similar situation before with someone I was in a serious relationship before. No fun!

So, if you're wanting to know for sure whether or not he received these naked pics from females he's actually in contact with....here is a possible option: Do you share a cellular plan with your husband? If so, is your account registered online (if not, it's easy to do so)? If you are able to log into that account information over the internet, many cellular companies store an online photobook of all pictures sent to and from a cellular phone.

I know Sprint accounts offer that option because this was how I discovered that my boyfriend was exchanging nude pictures with other females. Hopefully the same won't be true in your case. It's quite possible he's innocent!

Hope this helps and that everything turns out alright! :)

Answer 4

Ok, I'm going to let you in on what I've just figured out in my life and I wish someone had told me! They are all going to do that no matter what.

It doesn't matter if your good looking, or how your sex is. Men want visual stimulation in their life and they just look and look. I'm really surprised that your married to him and are now figuring this out! He's good!

My father told me something when I was a little girl and it's taken me 25 years to understand what the man was saying. "There are two kinds of men, the kind that hide it and the kind that flaunt it." Girl, be thankful that he's the kind that hides it.

Don't take it personally, which was the hardest part for me! There is nothing wrong with you and he is still very attracted to you. Men just have this other side to them and sometimes it takes a while for us to see it. After a while I just started to laugh at it and look at him like a little boy that can't get enough candy.

Don't worry so much, relax and be thankful it's just some model that he doesn't know. It sometimes helps to talk to him about it. I know he'll tell you that it's nothing and after a while (when time passes) you'll see it too.

Good luck, I know just how you feel. Chin up!

Answer 5

I am 59 and I have been there! Believe me. My man had pictures of woman in his garage and had it locked up and I just had to see what was locked up in his garage. Here were these pictures of woman pinned up in there. I felt like I was less then what he wanted or he would not be looking at other women. At that time in my life I could not understand why he would want to look at other women like that when he had me. I talked to my father about it and he was a very wise man.
He said that all men have a fantasy that they have their good woman at home to care for the kids and the one they love, but they have the other woman on the side that they do not have to care for and can sleep with and she will give him all his sexual fantasies and he does not have to do anything for her at all and he does not have to love her.
Even though he told me this it did not seem to make a difference in my mind. I felt that if I only wanted him and no one else in this world then he should feel the same way. I still feel that way and it has never changed in my mind. I think men always are looking for something better out there and there is nothing better then what they have at home and it takes maturitly for them to finally realize it. I personally feel you are justified in your feelings. I am worried for you right now. If this man is fantizing at all then I would be wondering if he is looking outside the home as well. Not that anything would happen, but all it would take is the right good lookin gal to come along and make his ego feel good and your marriage would be over. It started that way for me and ended with my man having an affair and not just one! It has nothing to do with you either!!!!!!!!!! It is something that is within them. Maybe you should post this for the men only and maybe you can get response from them.. But I am sure the only response you would get is from the ones that would not feel this way. Keep looking and don't stop!
Look through the billfolds and pockets and all the places that he would keep things. and on the net.. Be there before something happens! And.. I know this may sound silly but try something different in bed!!! Be the aggresser and give him something to think about!!! If he makes a commit about how wild you were in bed then tell him to get rid of the pictures or that is all he will have in the future!! I would love to hear his commit! Bye the way my man and I are still together after 40 years!

Answer 6

I don't want to belittle your feelings because they are perfectly natural. But this behavior is perfectly normal.

My husband has pictures of naked chicks (from porn sites) on his computer and it doesn't bother me. There was a time early on in our marriage that it would have, but not now.

Would it make you feel better if you know they were there or did it bother you because you felt he was hiding it?

I suggest speaking with him and letting him know your feelings. Perhaps this will open up a healthy dialog between you two about both of your needs and can find a way to make you both happy.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Going through his phone, you were either suspicious of something already, or you are a jealous control freak.
Since you went this far, why not snoop on his personal computer to see if he s addicted to porn. If so, you might be in trouble because these addictions often ruin a marriage.
But the pictures might just be some that he wanted to show to his buddies, and they mean nothing.
When all else fails, ask the man!

Answer 8

Are you sure that it was boredom that lead you to looking in his phone or did it have to do with those "changed feelings" that you have? Could it be that YOU felt something had changed - either in you or in him - and that's why you went through his phone?
While looking at naked pictures is something most women find it hard to understand, its not the end of the world (or your relationship). Talk to him about your feelings on it, and ask him why. As others have said, its not as if he was there in the flesh when those were taken, or that they are women he knows.

Answer 9

Looking at naked pics on the computer means you husband is betraying you ? Come on give me a break He is a healthy man who looks at naked girls he isn't possessed by it and only had 3 on HIS phone He didn't take them He got them off line. Guys share naked pics over their phone all the time and YOU betrayed him by checking his phone without asking. would it be OK for him to go Thur your purse without you knowing? you ask for mature people to answer this and it seems YOU are being VERY IMMATURE by getting upset and spying on his phone. Its not like he took the pics in person.

Answer 10

Men suck at times, no doubt about it, they dont get the emotional hang ups that women have, and they figure as long as they arent actually physically cheating that its ok to do things like look at porn on tv, mags, or the pc.. and at times they even interact with these women over the computer, cyber sex etc.. and to them cause their not physically touching its ok, but emotionally it is wrong, morally its wrong.. it makes you feel like your less then to him because why if you were his everything would he ever feel the need to look at another woman in a lustful way. And men will say that its the fact that the other woman is different, something new. But I dont buy into that b.s , sounds like a bunch of excuses.. i mean most people go into marriage knowing this is the only person they are going to be with for the rest of their lives.. if they wanted to still window shop they shouldnt of gotten married, the one u marry is suppose to be "THE ONE" the one for you in every aspect. But for alot of men this concept isnt drilled into their head.. instead all they go for is the "dont cheat" aspect but what they dont realize is cheating comes in many forms not just physically. Your hurt because emotionally he has cheated on you, u feel betrayed because of not only what he's done, but the fact that he was keeping this a secret from you.. which i dont know to many men that actually cheat on their wives and just come home and say guess what i did today honey... so it has the same affect on you as if he actually has physically cheated on you.. My thought is , dont be quiet about it, if it bothers u , u need to let him know it bothers u, and you need to let him know this isnt acceptable to you. Some women dont care as long as he doesnt phsyically cheat they are fine with it.. but others like me, take their vows extremely serious, and it says FORSAKE ALL OTHERS in the vows i took it didnt say FORSAKE ALL OTHERS BUT THE GIRLS IN PORN.. and im sorry alot of men it starts out as curiousity, and when that gets boring they move up to other taboo things till eventually they are at that point where it does become physical, so my advice, nip it in the bud ..

Answer 11

I know other people are saying fantasies are okay and blah blah, but if I was in your shoes I wouldn't be as calm as you. I'd erase them for SURE! I'm not the jealous type, but if I'm pushed I can be nasty. Actually maybe I'd throw the phone at him while the pic is on there and me like, anything you wanna tell me? No matter what if you want this marriage to work and you honestly believe he loves you, you HAVE to talk to him about it. Tell him how hurt and embarrassed you are. I think Orlando Bloom is a hottie, but I don't have him on my phone! You also have to ask him if something is going on on the internet that you need to know about. I'd be all up in his stuff! I'd be in the email, the voice mail, the.. whatever it is I'd be there looking through it thinking, oh you ***, I'm gonna batch you. But, wait, don't listen to me. That's NOT good advice. I'm just nuts. But still. Talk to him no matter what. By the way, one last thing, I think you were going through his phone for a reason OTHER than that you were bored....