If I don't do what my husband wants, he confronts me about it everyday until I give in. This is about basically everything- sex, money, health issues, friends, and family.
For example:
He bullied me onto getting off of a medication and when I realized I really did need this medication, he refused to support me taking it. He mentally abused me everyday about it. Saying how "bad" it was and that I was a drug abuser. This was a doctor prescribed medication that I was taking as directed.
He has refused to let me be on his bank account, saying that he feels nervous letting me have access to his money. I have never indicated or done anything that would make him feel that way.
He has even raped me when I refused sex.
I'm not saying I've never done anything wrong in the relationship, but I'm being treated like I'm his possesion to control.
Is he controlling or is it just me? He seems to change for a short period of time only when I threaten to leave. He never changes tho
2007-10-27 17:47:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not a doctor so if you need the medication then get back on it. NO means NO if you didn't want to be intimate, who would being treated this way? Stop blaming yourself for how he is treating you. Another thing, what kind of a man has a family but considers his money his? Don't threaten to just leave do it. Do you have any family or friends that you can stay with? This is no way anyone should be treated. Yes this is abuse it's not you it's HIM! The reason he probably changes only for a short time is because you keep going back on your threats and he knows you will not do it. Tell him that unless you give him any reason for not putting you on a joint account that's fine, then go open up your own without him on yours!
2007-10-27 18:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by smiley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not put up with this treatment. You are being abused girl. He cannot have sex with you when you tell him no if he is your husband or not. It does not matter what you do wrong you do not deserve to be raped. You also deserve to have access to money. It is not his money, you are married the money belongs to both of you. If you need a medication you need to take it. Taking a prescribed drug does not make you a drug abuser. I would stop threatening to leave and do it. You need to realize that people cannot treat you like this and only you can put a stop to it. Good luck.
2007-10-27 17:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force your wife to take treatments. She has every right to make her own medical decisions for herself. Based on the fact that her prognosis is very poor for any long term survival, this might be the best decision for her. You think you cannot handle it, but you will. She has 2 life threatening illnesses that can be fatal. Pancreatic cancer is a cancer that it seems most people rarely ever survive and never when its in the advanced stage. The only cure for end stage liver disease is a liver transplant and she would never qualify for one due to her having pancreatic cancer not to mention if she continues to drink. They never give a transplant to an active alcoholic. Chemo might make the time she has left more miserable than you can imagine. I don't know how many people I have known with cancer that died while they took chemo. It seemed like the chemo made them so sick that it actually made their condition much worse. You need to respect her wishes and stop asking her to do treatments. Make the best of the time she has left with you and don't turn it into a battle and fight over what you think she should do. Treatment is not going to save her life. At best, it might prolong it a little but at the same time it could make her go through hell before it ends. Let her leave this world the way she wants. My heart goes out to both of you, but this is not about how much you want her to live. This is about the quality of life she wants her life to be till its over. It's about what she wants, not about what you want.
2016-04-10 22:28:31 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave and not come back, This man is a controller and he can not change. If you have no place to go, try contacting the ncadv - link below - His mental abuse is as bad as physical abuse and worse in some ways, especially if you do not take the medicine that you need!!
Then get an attorney and file for divorce. There is someone in this world who will make your life very happy but you can't meet that person as long as you allow yourself to be treated this way.
2007-10-27 17:58:20 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like daddy gets his way all the time! He sounds like he is mentally abusive and a jerk I was married to a jerk simular to this a long time ago and the sad thing is he had to leave me I would have never left him because he had ruined my self esteem and I never realized how miserable I was until I wasn't married to him anymore. Man when I got away from that jerk was the best day of my life!
Leave that jerk and get with a real man who wants to share everything with you and supports anything that keeps you in good health believe me life just starts on the other side of the divorce papers!
2007-10-27 17:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by LILBITOFKY 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're in an abusive relationship. Been there... have the daily pain, scars, hardware and several diagnostic studies to show for it.
Go to this site... www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
There's a ton of information as well as phone numbers to get help. Don't be afraid to reach out for that helping hand. It's a better life than what you're living now. I understand the rape comment and the "bending" of your will to meet his. Please don't do what I did and wait until you're broken and bleeding physical as well as mentally before you take back control of your life.
2007-10-27 18:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I put up with this type of crap for 29 years, always using the kids as the excuse for staying. No one deserves to be treated this way. GET OUT now!!! You can make it on your own. I am supporting myself (yes it is hard). But I am a much stronger person now. Good Luck
2007-10-27 18:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by snakefinder41360 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is manipulating you like a puppet...not to mention abusing you...you must get out of this nightmare...no one deserves this treatment...you need to find somewhere you can stay that is safe and he does not know about...find a job get on your feet and seek legal aid.
click on this article at the very bottom there are resources for you to use and seek help. Don't take any action till you have everything planned out completely. Good Luck you deserve to be happy
http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/relationships/love-marriage/couples-marriage/domestic-violence?msc=S72966&s_kwcid=TC-3979-118593593512-S-9595637512
2007-10-27 18:09:33 · answer #8 · answered by only1sol2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have experienced this and I promptly filed for divorce. He is a controlling, abusive jerk that will never change. My ex is now on his 5th wife and she's in the process of filing for a divorce from him. I divorced this ex over 25 years ago. See? He ain't gonna change. Move onward & upward, gf!
2007-10-27 18:06:04 · answer #9 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't change. He'll only get worse. If he has raped you, he has committed a felony and should be in jail. Get together whatever money you can-- sell your jewelry or whatever else you can sell. Pack your bags and leave while he's at work. Call your local department of social services and find the nearest battered women's center and go there.
2007-10-27 17:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋