I really am mad tonight because I found out my husband has been talking to his ex who he cheated on me with a few years back. To him it is no big deal because they have a child together and I should just get over it. But, to me it is serious!! She calls him only on his mobile, never at home, and only when he is at work. I have asked him several times that if she wants to call and it is innocent, and only about their son she should call the house and he should tell her that he is married and that it causes problems for her to call him any other way. This has been an ongoing problem for a while now. What should my next move be?
2007-10-27 17:23:14 · 12 answers · asked by 2sweet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is totally disrespecting you and he cannot be trusted! This has nothing to do with the fact that he has a child with his ex...it has everything to do with the way he cheated on you and humiliated you to no end. He has a serious problem if he doesn't get this here. He is not making it easy for you to accept his child acting against you with his ex. He is dam lucky you forgave him for betraying you with his ex. I would not tollerate this emotional abuse and the phone calls would stop or his clothes would be dumped on her front lawn. He is pushing the limit with you and he doesn't seem to care. If you continue to stay in the relationship it has to be on your terms and not his. I would handle all the calls from here on out and give him the messages from the ex. If your husband has to pick up the child I would ride along.If he has a problem with that and doesn't like it....TO BAD! If he gives you any problem over it i would kick him out and that's the bottom line!!!!!!
2007-10-27 17:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally it sounds like you are being used and that he's using his son as a "cover up" or excuse to see and be around her. Unfortunately there are times when two people divorce they realize later on that it was a mistake and want to be back together, or that they had an enjoyable sex life and relationship while going together but the "I do" paper made a difference in their lives. In his case, he's cheated on you already and who's to say that he's not still doing it. You are right to feel threatened and yes it is serious. If it were me, I would be seeking a good divorce lawyer. I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot and you were seeing an ex, having sex with him that your current wouldn't appreciate it at all. Believe me there are a lot of "good men" out there as well, one's who won't cheat or sneak around. Take it from a man who was married but had a wife doing that with her ex... When you get married to someone it should be that person and that person only, not that person and the ex too! If she has visitation and custody rights for their son they had, fine and dandy let her come around and see him, or make it a mutual thing where you and he drop the son off. Not him sneaking around then lieing to you about it.
2007-10-27 17:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by Ghostwriter1959 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all It don't matter if she is his ex and they had a child together or not, sleeping with her is a no no and its a big deal. You mean he haven't told his ex that he got remarried? hmmmm, that is kinda odd most men would be happy to tell their ex's they have remarried this way they have shown their ex they have move on with their life. Do you have any ideal why he haven't inform his ex about his new wife (you)? I see that you're a fair and opened minded woman about the ex to call him about the child only. You're among the very few women would allow the ex's contact the child father about his kid. I commend you! Question, have his son ever visited him for the weekend?
I would offer this suggestion, 1) have another talk with him that is ok for his ex to call him about his son only. but for any thing else that is not good. 2) Encourage him to have his son spend the weekend over sometimes. so, his son see that daddy have a new wife and will go back and tell mommy. 3) ask him how he feel about the relationship with you? Then you take if from there, if he dont stop this kind of behavoir that is not good. good luck...
2007-10-27 17:53:12 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding? This guy is definately cheating on you. You have been more than nice about this. They have a kid together, so there is going to be some communication, but this is ridiculous. Obviously there is something going on that isn't kosher.
You need to tell him that he this isn't right. You shouldn't just have to "put up with it" when he has proven that he is untrustworthy. Why not call this girl directly and get the truth? If she's cheating with him, she will probably be more than happy to blab to you. You may want to give him an ultimatim: that if you find that he is cheating you will divorce him. Don't take him back if he is. He's already proven that he's not worth the tears on your pillow.
2007-10-27 17:33:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course your mad and have every right to be. He is doing exactly what he wants to do. Of course its serious to you but to him, its his choice. Hes playing you both. Sure its no big deal to him, that's why he has no problem telling you to get over it. Doesn't matter what he says, if he cared about you he would not allow her to call him, and just how did she get his number? I betcha he gave it to her. Also he is using his son as an excuse to do as he pleases. He doesn't have to tell her its causing problems she already knows. I think your gonna have to sit down and make some decisions. How long you gonna allow this to go on. Don't make any decisions while your mad. Talk to someone who you know is your FRIEND or a lawyer. im sorry your going thru this... Good luck hun.
2007-10-27 17:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has cheated on u with her in the past u have a right to feel threatened by her. she does it this way because he allows it. she also does it as a form of disrespect for u. she probably hopes to get u going and upset, so she can step in and take back what she feels is hers. this is a hard one, and the fact he never showed a true remorse for his cheating has made u unable to regain trust. had he acknowledged that what he did was wrong and hurt u maybe u would not be feeling this way now. why put up with it, when he isn't even sorry and want to just sweep your pain under some rug to be forgotten.
2007-10-27 17:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him as fast as you can before it's too complicated. He is definitely cheating. Otherwise he would respect you enough to tell her not to call his cell. I wouldn't even give him the benefit of a doubt. He's cheated before with the same woman. Even if he says he isn't, do you really want to believe him. Best of luck!
2007-10-27 17:57:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me, I would just move out and tell him to make up his mind. He isn't totally committed to you or he would put a stop to it. she probably wants him back, for sex if nothing else, and he is keeping both of you on the line. Don't play his game but get out or get an attorney and get him out.
2007-10-27 18:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up and stop being jealous of the mother of his child
2007-10-28 00:18:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pawn to king 3
2007-10-27 17:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋