For those whom have been divorced for some time: do you still feel like you lost a part of yourself and ?

Question

the future and dreams that you once were headed towards?

Answer 1

This is a natural reaction to divorce if you think about it. When you get married, you have hopes and dream, plans, and a relationship with someone you care about deeply. When you divorce, you suffer the loss of all of that, so it is completely natural that you should go through a period of grief. Although no person has died, something extremely important to you HAS died. It's going to take a significant amount of time to get over that. Don't be hard on yourself. Accept that this is going to take awhile to get over.

Answer 2

Yes, a big part.We were married for 25 yrs. He is the father of my children. I shared things with my ex that I can and will never share with another. Little things that were as much a part of me and the air that i breathed. Things that mean nothing to anyone else. When you divorce all the dreams that you were headed for are lost. To be real honest with you when we divorced it was like a death. That was almost 7 years ago. Time has been good to me and Ive tried to move on. Now I'm trying to build a future with someone else. We have a new set of hopes and dreams and im looking forward to those. You have to let the past go... cause that's what it is.. the past... you cant relive it or go back to it. Just start over the future holds what we make it for ourselves. Good luck

Answer 3

Not at all! I feel like I sold myself short in the potential and confidence departments and lost myself and my dreams when I was married to my ex. That's the only thing I can ever thank my ex for... making sure I was at rock bottom when I left him. I had only two ways to go... straight up or sideways. Up was a much more attractive option!

Every since we separated and eventually divorced (it's been over 6 years now) I've found life to be very liberating and have taken on challenges I never would have before. I finished my education, traveled and started a business. I feel like I know who I am and exactly what I want and am capable of. I recently became engaged to the most wonderful man on earth! I definitely appreciate him more for all of the crap my ex put me through.

Answer 4

I have lost two men whom I thought were my soulmates. I was married to the first one for 7 yrs and was devistated at the los. It took me about 6 years to have another serious relationship again, That one lasted 15 years and we had a great time. But this time when he left, I had matured enough to realize that instead of thinking of it as having lost a part of myself, I cherished all the time and experiences we had together. He will always hold a special place in my heart, but there is still room to love someone else... when he comes along. Go on with your life and persue new dreams because you never know if that right person might be found while doing so.

Answer 5

I have been divorced for 2 years and even though I am getting ready to marry again... I still feel a little bit "lost" without him... Don't get me wrong, I love my new man... but I was with my ex for most of my adult life and it is hard to just give up on all of that... plus the fact that I am not one of these "I hate him" girls... I know that I feel like I lost a part of me because I loved my family and the dreams we had... part of me will always love him and what we had but I know that I was lucky to find a love that strong and to share the time that we did. Feel blessed that you were able to love someone so much that you feel a part of you is lost without them. Then learn from any mistakes made and move on. Life is short and you have to love with all of your heart. Good Luck

Answer 6

I've been divorced for 7 years and I feel like I've gained more of myself since being with him. I was so empty at the end of our marriage and now am quite proud of myself that I'm supporting myself and making my own life. I'm a teacher and just signed up to take classes towards getting my Masters degree, something that I would never have done if I was still with him.

Answer 7

You will always feel that way to some degree. Especially if they were your first love. However, divorce is for a reason, so one must separate the fond memories from the bad, and move on.
I actually kicked my ex-wife out and kept our three kids. But I do not talk bad about her to them ever. They eventually found out why, once they were grown, and can't beleive I stayed with it for 16 years.
I will still love her always, in some ways. But one does what one must, and move on with one's life. I have no regrets, just sadness over it.

Answer 8

I've been divorced for 5 years and to be honest i don't remember much of my marriage or times together i guess i am just focusing on the time i have now with my new boyfriend and don't focus much on the past we were together for 12 years married for 9

Answer 9

when i first got divorced i felt a great sadness and loss of my future, but now 4 years later, i see it was all for the best, that i now have a better future, and realize that the dreams i had when married to him could not have been realized. as time goes by we do begin to see it differently. i believe that god takes all things into account and if we suffer a divorce than there was no other way out of it but that. u will grieve it for a time, but there will be new dreams and a new future, if u will let it in and not be bitter.

Answer 10

In the beginning yes you feel like you have lost a lot of time, respect, face, a husband etc.....there is a huge sense of loss in the first time, but with time as you recover, you begin to feel empowered, a sense of your renewed self comes back and you just soar like an eagle that has just been released from a cage.