This child is 12 years old. He is mentally retarded but he is able to communicate better than most of his peers. I am friends with his parents and I am always very nice to this child. My problem is everytime he sees me, he always wants to grab my breast and my butt. Today, I was laying on my bed and he came up on me and tried to hump me. I am getting very annoyed about his behavior. I have thought about telling his parents about his behavior but they think it's cute but they haven't seen him do all the things he's done to me. I've tried talking to him and explaining that he should not touch a woman that way, but he won't listen. I've tried yelling but he just yells back. I've even hit him (not too hard just a few spanks on the back of his hand) but nothing seems to work. I really don't want to have this discussion with his parents, I don't know how to approach them. I'm sure they'll be offended but I see them at least once a week. What should I do about this situation?
2007-10-27 15:44:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You know, use this as practice for if you have your own children someday. If there are kids around you'll have to talk to their parents about their behavior and that's just the way it is with kids. Some kid will hit your kid or say something bad or whatever and you'll have to deal with it because you will be your child's only advocate! So if you can deal with this the other won't be so hard I don't think.
I suggest that instead of blaming right off you ask for their advice.
Say something like, "I'm not sure what to do when Timmy touches my breast, (or humps me or displays inappropriate affection or whatever). It makes me feel very uncomfortable and I was wondering how you would like me to handle it," and if they tell you it's no big deal and to let him do it then either take that as a sign that you shouldn't be friends with them or say, "I'm not comfortable with that. Do you have any other suggestions on how you want me to get him to stop that behavior?"
2007-10-27 16:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by dontdoubtit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation for you because you will have to speak to the boys parents about his behavior. Sadly as you say he is retarded and just because he can communicate doesn't mean that he is able to control his impulses and gauge what is appropriate behavior. His male hormones are starting to turn on and he is not able to channel that in an acceptable fashion. His parents are probably reluctant to see him as anything other than a child and don't have any real understanding that just because he is retarded, he won't grow up both physically and sexually.
As difficult as it will be , if you are honestly friends with this couple, you would be a good friend to make them aware that their son is acting out in ways that not only you find uncomfortable, but may also get him into legal trouble. If there is a mental health/ mental retardation agency in your area, I would call them for advice on how to approach this subject with his already burdened parents. Perhaps they have some printed materials that you could pick up and bring with you when you speak to them. This is undoubtably a subject that comes up often with their agency and they would probably be able to help you make them aware in a sensitive and compassionate manner. Only you know how they will react to such news. It may be anger, and dispair directed towards you , so I would bring a backup person with me who was also well known to them. I am sure you are embarrased by this situation but you would really be doing them a favor by letting them know, as a friend rather then them finding out another way.
2007-10-27 16:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only three choices. Talk to the parents and force responsibility on them, or stop being around the kid. Third choice, contact child welfare services.
2007-10-27 15:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should never, ever, yell or hit a retarded child. talk to the parents emmediately and tell them that if it doesn't stop you will not be coming over anymore.
believe me, the parents would much rather have you tell them then hit their kid!
2007-10-27 15:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell his parents. I know you don't want to but you need to. He could do it to someone else. I would talk to his mom and let her tell his dad. Explain what is going on and how often. If she doesn't do anything about it respectfully ask that they not be around you. It is their responsibility to monitor his actions and to discipline his bad behavior.
2007-10-27 15:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents and tell them how you fell. Thay are the ones that need to do something about it.
2007-10-27 16:01:35 · answer #6 · answered by patches 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the kid's parents. That's the only way you can stop the kid.
2007-10-27 15:53:52 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Shania♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋