why are ex so grrr and so irritating esp. when they blame you and know for a fact they are wrong?

Question

my marriage failed coz my ex took a whore mistress and impregnated her..i tired to save the marriage for 6 years to no avail till i HAD ENOUGH!!! anyway that was 7 yrs ago...we are on speaking terms now and MIRACLE he send some allowance for my kids after 6 long years. then last saturday he admitted to me he regretted what he did and suffered for years for it then yesterday he was back to blaming me saying I'M the cause he is the PRODUCT!!! whew a self centered guy would always be that and would never change just hope noone among my 2 kids will get his HIGH and MIGHTY attitude......can attitude be inherited too? hope NOT!!! i raised my kids so differently from the way his parents raised him....i dont want my son to end up breaking a solemn vow when he get married someday...and i dont want my daughter to go through what thier dad did to me too....:-(

Answer 1

Been, there done that! At this point me and my husband try to be the balance for the negative s**t, his exs say and does. We hope for the best, but at the end of the day we know we did our best.

Answer 2

He was possibly exploring the possibility on Saturday that you would say all is forgiven, come home, especially since you tried for so long to keep the marriage together and when he saw that didn't work, he showed his true nature yesterday. Attitude can not be inherited but if I child is raised with attitude he might as well have been born with it. The fact that you are raising your children differently is all that you can do but there is still the chance they may get into a relationship too fast and divorce but it should not be because of attitude, and if they don't rush and find the right person it may work out for them even though it didn't for you

Answer 3

Ex are that...ex's. Stop worrying about if he was right or wrong, if you know that he was wrong, why the worry? keep going with your life, was 7 years ago and apparently still get in your nerves, probably you haven't been able to let go what still bothers you. You are spending, still, too much energy in something dead. And stop looking over your kids like if they will become in something that you hate...in any case is their father and is on them to judge that situation with their father not you. It's difficult but it's the best you can do.

There are people who will never take responsibility of their actions and always "somebody else" will be the one who blame. Don't waste your time on it. If he start again with that type of conversation just stop it, for your own sanity.

Answer 4

its so easy to point the finger at the other so to deflect the blame off yourself. he is angry at his choices, and is back to blaming u for it. but he had a choice here. i don't believe attitude is inherited, but we may become like the people and experiences we were exposed to unfortunately. all u can do is keep telling your son right from wrong, and be a good influence on him. we never want out kids to suffer, hopefully u can guide them and they won't suffer your same fate. your husband is a result of how he was raised, perhaps his parents allowed him to do whatever he wanted, and gave him no guidance, or consequences. he continues to blame u because he did not find happiness, his choice did not bring him the joy he expected to have. your husband is just a guy who won't take responsibility or blame for his actions. he made his own destiny not u.

Answer 5

Ex's are that way because they have no where else to go and no one else to bug. He's a chump for doing what he did to you. You deserve to be upset w/ him and diss him if needed. You raised your kids on your own and he had no part in that???? Yeah, that's terrible.

You're a strong woman who went through a lot. And it's women like you that help give me strength in life; especially with everything that I've gone through. Hang in there. You've been doing a great job. Keep him away. Get a R.O. Keep him completely out of your lives.