How do you ask someone to accept you the way you are?

Question

My family just won't accept my wife of a different race. We have one child. My family still can't accept this.

How do you ask someone to accept you the way you are?

It really makes us sad to have to deal with it.

Answer 1

You just say "This is my wife and child, and I love them. You would too if you would try to get to know them the way I do." You did your part--now it's time for them to get over their hang ups and do theirs.

Answer 2

Well.. you just ask... but that probably won't do any good. They would have already accepted her if they had any intentions of doing so. It is not like they are going to say "Holy smokes! We had no idea you wanted us to accept her! Okay - we will" . Unfortunately, it is just one of those things... if it wasn't her race the people in your family would find some other reason to not accept her. Sounds like maybe you just got a cruddy family! At least you didn't turn out gay - that goes over even worse than inter-racial relationships these days.

Answer 3

You don't ask, you tell them to, and if they don't then you leave them in their ignorance. I know that's easier said than done, I'm sure you love your family. But you have a new family now, that is your top priority. If your family cant accept your wife and child, then it is your duty to stand up for them and leave it alone after that. They are losing out. Unless your wife has done offensive things then, they need to get over it. If her only offense is being the "wrong color" for your family, then you are lucky that you didnt inherit the ignorant trait and youre better off without them.

Answer 4

Ahhhhhh you have a child? And they STILL feel this way? What a shame. I know this is evil but stop visiting them until they accept your WHOLE family. If they think they are loosing you they will come around. Worked for one of my family members. Good Luck to you! God bless you and your wife and child. I can only imagine how your wife feels. She deserves better in laws.

Answer 5

That is a tough one. You cannot make someone accept you. Their ignorance is their problem. Although it hurts you to not have their acceptance, you must know in your heart that you are doing what you feel is right. Love your wife and child, that is the best way to live. Don't let their ignorance get in the way of your life. I know it is tough, but just don't reduce yourself to their ignorance. Keep your chin up!!!

Answer 6

You married your wife for a reason; not your family. You can't ask someone to accept anyone. They will have to "feel" it within themselves. If they chose not to, then they are missing out on their own child's happiness that he has accomplished on his own.

Racism is harsh. It shouldn't even be a word w/ a definition. this word should not exist.

As long as you are happy with you and your own family, that's all that matters.

Answer 7

Sometimes family will never accept your loved one. It's difficult but that just how stubborn families can be. If you love her, that's all that should matter. I know that your families approval may be important, but is it really worth all the hassel to get their acceptance? You would think children would bring a family together, but unfortunately, they don't. I would say, just give it time, maybe they'll just break down. Good Luck!

Answer 8

As long as you accept your wife. You have nothing to worry all about. If you want someone accept you the way you are. Show to that someone that you are good from other. Change the bad attitude, manner into good.

Answer 9

You ask them to accept it and you move on. If they do not accept it, you have to ask yourself if it is more important for you to have your wife and child in your life or if it is more important to cling to your family. If they don't like it, oh well....then you need to cut ties with them b/c it isn't fair to your wife or your child. Imagine your child growing up knowing that he/she isn't welcome, loved, or as loved as the other children are in the family. Your wife probably feels this everyday. Your child doesn't need to feel like an outsider in his/her own family. If they don't accept your family, then you shouldn't accept them....for your wife and child's sake!!

Answer 10

families are a strange thing, they are important to us, yet they're not. unfortunately you can't make people accept something they don't want. however, you can make them at least be polite & accept/respect your choices. i would suggest to gather them around, with you wife (she probably needs to be assured that you are united in your views etc) explain that everyone there are you 'family' & that each of them/you have different qualities, quirks & ideas & that those things are what make them individuals & the things that you love or admire about them (pick a few specific qualities or quirks using a few people as examples) & them point out decisions or things that some of them have done that you haven't agreed with & point out that that hasn't changed the fact that you still love them & consider them family & that you accepted or at least respected their decisions, then point out some of your wife's qualities that she can or has offered to your family & then some special things that you personally admire her for (preferably something that your family members hold dear to their hearts, eg her unconditional love of you, her ability raising your child, house keeping etc) making an example of things in common. if your family have friends of a different race perhaps use some of them & their qualities as examples too. & explain to them your family, that if they love you, they have to at the very least respect your decision & be polite.
my dad's new wife, was not liked or loved by anyone in our family this has been going on for over a decade. however it only takes one person to changed that & i decided that that would be me. i called a truce between my stepmother & myself, i made a point of making sure my dad was present, one because i wanted him to know exactly what was said & how i felt, & 2 because i beleive it held more weight in my stepmother's eyes, witnesses & all that. i told them that i love my dad & i respected the decisions that he made, & it isn't my place to decide who is or isn't good for him, he'd never interferred with my choices, & i want him to be happy & if his wife makes him happy that's all that matters. since then the relationship with my dad has grown even stronger, when they visit it more relaxed & if/when anybody else tries to have a go at my stepmother (usually behind her back) i stand up for her & my dad. everybody now knows that i refuse to be drawn into any bickering about my dad's choice & wife & slowly they are all becoming more tolerant, at the very least. however what goes on when i'm not there, i cannot help. even my mother, when we have family get togethers, has staid her tongue & been more pleasant. naturally my stepmother will continue to be wary, esp of the others but slowly everybody are changing.
you don't have to like or agree with family members, but we usually still love them anyway.