My husband moved out and has his own place. Its been 4 months now. Now all of a sudden, he wants to move back in to be with the kids. This all happened after I called the police on him for restraining our son by the neck. My husband continues to pay all the bills at my place and his place. So I understand why he doesn't want to do that any longer. But I can't stand being around him any longer. He is a violent, angry man. What can I do? He also wants me to move out and live alone.
2007-10-27 13:16:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
go to court. get a restraining order. you can get an ex-parte order that requires him to continue to pay all the bills as he is doing now. IT IS POSSIBLE!! regardless if his name is on the lease, mortgage or whatever. it doesn't matter. once violence comes into play, you have so much power in your hands it's incredible. USE IT!!! he will be required to pay all the bills until a hearing is set. you need to file for custody, visitation and support. and alimony. DON'T YOU DARE NOT TAKE THE ALIMONY!!! you will need it to get back on your feet. start applying for educational grants so you can go to school. this will also look good in the eyes of the court because you are making an effort to move on and not rely solely on his income. and you will be able to stablely take care of the children. don't you dare let him near those kids without supervised visitation.
look, 4 years ago if i had known what i known now, my ex would have been in jail for rape, physical abuse to myself and my children. but i let guilt take over. i moved out (he said the same thing to me, if i wanted out of the relationship, i had to move) it took me 3 years of torture to finally get back on my feet. i am now remarried, i have custody of my children with an additional baby and one on the way. it was a hard journey. but i did it. with the support of my husband i made it. so can you.
2007-10-27 13:43:26 · answer #1 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without a restraining order he has the right to move back in if he is paying the bills and he is on the lease or house note. You can get a restraining order but he can also stop paying the bills on the house and you could be evicted.
You would be better to move out with the children, file a complaint about the neck hold, and get a restraining order and ask for supervised visitation for your children.
Stay safe and keep your kids safe.
Good Luck
2007-10-27 20:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all don't let him pay the bills anymore, you start doing that. Then once you start then you'll have all the say when it comes to that place. If it is a house that both of you own, well then i would sell it or buy him out, if he owns it, then sorry to say i would pack up my child if i were you and just get out of there and let him have it, but once out i would take him to court and get him to pay and also get a restrainning order against him. But the first thing is STOP LETTING HIM PAY THE BILLS.
2007-10-27 20:25:46 · answer #3 · answered by Erin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If his name is on the mortgage then he can move back in...however if he is violent then you could try to get a restraining order against him...heres a tip for you babe...i dont know where you stay but i am in Britain and the same thing happened to me....i went to the police and all sorts...i was told it was illegal for me to change the locks to my doors to stop him getting back in...... as it is his house too....but here is the good bit...if you do decide to change the locks and your husband was to come back and try to kick the door down for arguments sake to get back in the house...you can phone the police and he can be charged with breach of the peace.....
so thats what i done...long time ago but it worked!!!
2007-10-27 20:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your kids and leave. Make a life of your own. Document everything that happens or doesn't happen for future reference, and proof that he is an unfit father. Violence should never be tolerated. Protect your kids. They depend on you. Don't allow an abuser to come back into your life and hurt those kids again. You can also get those bills into your name. If you cannot afford to live there, then move. And by all means, keep him away from those children.
2007-10-27 20:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by lady_bella 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whoever has the mortgage in their name has the right to live there. If the house is in your name, you need to take the children and move out if you don't want to live with him.
Sorry, it sucks, but it's the law. I'd do everything I can to get your child as far away from him as possible!
2007-10-27 21:57:51 · answer #6 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get an attorney, and a restraining order, and ask for a divorce if u can't stand to live with him anymore. ask for alimony and child support, have his as setts frozen. unless u do something he can move back in.
2007-10-27 20:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order, let the court decide.
2007-10-27 20:21:13 · answer #8 · answered by April First 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order, now.
2007-10-27 20:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by rulestheroostwithkindness 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear of a restraining order? Why didn't you have one put on him when he was abusing your son?
2007-10-27 23:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋