custody of a newborn baby girl?

Question

i am 4 weeks away from having my first baby...my boyfriend was supposed to move down to maryland with me since i found a great job down here but he is backing out now and found himself a new girlfriend. his mom and him are threatening to make me out to be this crazy ***** that should not have custody of my unborn baby girl and are saying they are goin to bring me to court to prove it...i have done some crazy things like check his voicemail, email and get in contact with his new girlfriend to let her know about me and the baby and let her know what i think about her...i meani know those are some crazy things to do but i am about to have a baby in a month and was just left and all my plans i had with him are gone...so i would like to think i am allowed to be a lil insane...anyways my question is what are his chances of gettin custody and what are some reasons the baby can be taken away from me? bc he seems to think he has a pretty strong case on me...and i am not sure as to why

ps i plan on breastfeeding and have my parents and families full support...he lives at home with his mom and at times with her new girlfriend...he has also been arrested for assault of an old girlfriend...

Answer 1

hey you have a good reason to be a little wacky. You sudenly are looking at having a baby alone and are most likely a little scared. You are being threatened by him and his mother (the threat of losing your child would make any mother go a little wacky). Your man has abandoned you while pregnant and taken up with another woman and you are most likely sick with grief and not thinking clearly. ALSO and HUGELY... 'pregnancy hormones'. OMG. pregnancy hormones make any stable and calm woman fly off the handle. Heck I was suicidal while pregnant and bawling my eyes out if I got put on hold on the phone.

First thing you need to do is to stop this behavior.
Second thing you need to do is document (go back and type it all out. Record and copy all emails and when you can remember EXACTLY what was said, put it in quotes)
Third thing is in your documentation, write down about your gried, how scared you are, how hormonal you feel and out of sorts and 'not yourself', and stressed (this helps cover your butt)
Fourth thing is to stop talking to them. They can push your buttons and can (and by the sounds of it they will) twist your words and use them against you. From now on, only communicate in emails... emails that you are willing for a judge to see. Say nothing defensive and speak to him, in a professional manner without emotion.
Fifth. Relax. They will not take a baby from a mother and give the baby to a man who has a criminal record
Sixth. Go to couselling. This is for 2 reasons. It helps you sort things out (especially while pregnant and emotional). The 2'nd reason is because the cousellor will make notes and they are valid in court.

Answer 2

The mom almost always gets custody unless you are unfit. The things you did are not any reason to have your child taken away. All you did was invade his privacy..I probably would have done the same thing. Beings you and your ex apparently don't live in the same state having 50/50 custody is unlikely. However, he will have a right to see his baby. Is he going to be a good dad? His previous assault charge might help your case with the judge if you have to go to court. It's expensive to have a lawyer and if he is living at home with his momma apparently he doesn't have money to be on his own so how is he supposed to support a child?? I wouldn't worry or stress too much about it. You're health and the baby's health is what is important right now. Remember that and just ignore the SOB cuz obviously he is trying to make you miserable. Good Luck with everything. Becoming a mom is the greatest thing in the world and don't ever let anyone take that feeling away!!

Answer 3

From what you have said and have not done anything more to the ex boyfriend that would force him to file a report or restraining order then you should be fine. I studied family law for a year in Texas. If you are still not sure I can give some lawyer references.

What critics of the "judicial prognostication" overlook is that the court examines numerous factors and weighs the advantages and disadvantages of the alternative environments. The criteria for judicial determination includes, but is not limited to:

1. Fitness of the parents;
2. Character and reputation of the parties;
3. Desire of the natural parents and agreements between the parties;
4. Potentiality of maintaining natural family relations;
5. Preference of the child;
6. Material opportunities affecting the future life of the child;
7. Age, health and sex of the child;
8. Residences of parents and opportunity for visitation;
9. Length of separation from the natural parents, and;
10. Prior voluntary abandonment or surrender.

With those covered you will more or less win the dispute. Make sure to hire or research further with a lawyer even if this does not go through.

Now for you I would suggest legal custody. Legal custody carries with it the right and obligation to make long range decisions involving education, religious training, discipline, medical care, and other matters of major significance concerning the child's life and welfare.

Joint legal custody means that both parents have an equal voice in making those decisions, and neither parent's rights are superior to the other.

Physical custody, on the other hand, means the right and obligation to provide a home for the child and to make the day-to-day decisions required during the time the child is actually with the parent having such custody.

To further sucess in your flavor make sure the child is born in Maryland with you. If you barley can make it on your own then move in with family and make sure the ex pays child support and DO NOT give the father's last name.

Hope this helped. Good luck.

Answer 4

Proving someone to be an unfit mother takes a HELL of a lot more then showing irrational behavior and silly emails and phone calls. They would have to PROVE beyond a shadow of a doubt that you could NOT mentally or physically care for your baby... IF the boyfriend wants nothing to do with you, that's one thing, but he has a FINANCIAL OBLIGATION to that baby for LIFE... now what COULD happen is that his MOTHER could go to court to get VISITATION as the GRANDMOTHER since they now have rights as well, but, if you are living in another state at the time of the baby's birth, the two states may not even take HIS MOTHER's case BECAUSE you are living out of state... Just make sure whatever you do, MAKE NO MORE stupid phone calls or emails or anything and give them or anyone ELSE NO REASON to doubt your ability to raise your own child.... Oh and by the way---the Guys mother would have to pay for a lawyer and court costs and everything since her son is obviously a loser, and I have a feeling that his mother is just blowing smoke....

Answer 5

In my estimation (I'm not an expert in law) he hasn't got a chance. He has no chance because he's been arrested for unbridled anger.

Besides, if you're breastfeeding the baby, no judge would take baby away from you. Besides, baby's dad only THINKS he wants custody of the baby. Babies are a lot of work, and his little girliefriend isn't going to want to take care of somebody else's baby, and his Mom is too old.

No, I wouldn't worry about it. But don't let him move in--he's scum. Keep him as far away from you and the baby as you can. Make sure he knows that YOU will be suing for child-support if he makes any noises about custody.

Answer 6

The courts almost never remove custody from a parent unless it's proven that the parent is engaging in behaviors that are dangerous to the baby. Your behavior was justifiable considering you're having his child.You aren't doing drug, you have a job...how does that make you an unfit parent? Telling his girlfriend about you and the baby is NOT insane! Now...HIS behavior doesn't bode well for him getting custody. He abandoned you while you're pregnant. That's no 'caring father'. I don't think you have anything to worry about. He has NO case on you. He's just trying to scare you.

Answer 7

You must always be better than him. Get yourself involved in some parenting courses. Yes, breastfeed! You will love it. Just relax and enjoy your baby. Don't worry about the X-boyfriend. Just get him out of your life as fast as you can. Find youself someone that's going to love and care for you and your baby. Get an education. Stay close to you family you will need them. And, Don't Call, Email, or Go to the X. DO NOT smoke around the baby, in the home or car. They can do blood test to see if nicotine is in the baby. Always take the baby to the doctors for check up. Do not shake your baby. If you feel stressed or tires ask someone for help. You mom will be there for you. You have your whole life to be happy...don't cry over this guy. I hope everything goes well, and that you give your baby as much love as you're going to get. xoxoxox for the baby.

Answer 8

You won't have the baby taken away. As long as you have a clean record, have a stable living environment, job, insurance, and family to support you, you shouldn't worry. Courts do not want to take children away from their mothers, especially new borns. He left you. He even has a new girlfriend. The court will see that as a fault of his and a sign of abandonment. As long as you don't do anything else to make yourself look bad, you can always blame your actions on the pregnancy and being heart broken. You could even find doctors who will agree that pregnant women let their emotions get to them more than women who are not pregnant.

Answer 9

I really wouldn't worry about it you would have to be a real screw up as women to loose a child the law likes to keep children with the mother whenever possible. The things you did were immature not insane by any means and they cant prove it anyways its all hear say. As for him being arrested that you can prove so don't worry mommy noone is taking your baby!

Answer 10

there is no way they will get your child away from you. Unless you have a history of assault/violence/drug taking etc which he has and you do not, they dont have a leg to stand on. If they do take you to court, the judge will look into his background and then into yours. i mean no way is the system going to take a newborn away rom a perfect family due to some jerk who is lying. Their lies will end up coming out anyway. As for checking his email and voicemail etc, that isnt insane, and it is surely not enough to get your child taken away from you. Good Luck and Congrats.. try not to thik about these people.