Honest answer will means a lot to me...?

Question

My husband is a working hard man. He works from 4am and finishs around 10pm or later. He makes around $20K/m. We don't have problem with financial but we don't have happiness in our marriage life neither. He just can't give up drinking habits. He doesn't like to go out. We have never spent time out side the city even one night. Our sex life is very bad. In two years, we have sex about 8 times with unsatified. He likes watching Adult Movie when he drinks. I want to leave him but I feel guilty becuase he's not cheating on me but I'm not happy. I'm getting stress and loosing a lot of weight becuase of his action. What should I do? Please help me....

Answer 1

Obviously you are concerned about your financial wellbeing. You would not have started your question with how much money he makes otherwise.
Why did you marry in the first place? Financial security? Love? Stability?
Think about it....even IF the reason you married is still being met, you're not happy. Don't feel guilty. You need to explain to him what you need from the relationship, and also what HE needs(I bet he's missing something too, if he's watching porn and drinkin). If it's worth it to you, try counseling, but ONLY if you are willing to work hard and for a long time. Resolution won't come overnight.
If all else fails, at least you know you tried to make it work. And you won't have any guilt.
Good luck, and find a good outlet for your stress. Exercise works for me, and you'll gain muscle weight.

Answer 2

He works from 4am until 10pm or later , when does he get time to drink or watch porn?

Leave he's avoiding you he's not working he's cheating on you , my 1st husband was on 22 dollars an hour he told me he was on 19 bucks an hour and worked till 1 or 2 am the next morning to make up the extra found out he'd cheated 5 time's during that job , he was finishing work at the latest 7pm which is when he would conveniently ring me and tell me he was off to the wharf's and they had no cell reception there so he wouldnt be able to get my calls.

Girl your being played.

Answer 3

I'll have to agree with others, 20k a month is hard earned if there is no rewards ( vacations, time with spouse, sex ) to show for all that effort,
to that degree your happiness will be on a relationship that offer intimacy, communication and time spent, bad habits ( drinking more than porn ) and time spent away from you indicate a marriage of convenience, but for who? I'll guess you and not him. is it worth it for you? no
you find yourself better off with someone more goal oriented ( working hard for 20k may be hard working, but he is NOT ambitious and thus all that money will soon be spent on material things and no life planning ), he is morally bankrupt, not financially, you need to get into a more healthier relationship where you are valued, for what ever reasons, in the current one you have no value, save for probably washing his clothing, cooking his meals, and the occasional sex need when he feels like it

Answer 4

That is the problem with watching porn stuff. He sees all that unrealistic acts and is thinking that should happen in your bedroom. His expectations of sex is off the charts and that is why he doesn't think he can get pleasure with you because he is getting pleassure from watching others do it. This has ruined marriages. The alcohol is a contributor too. He needs help. First he has to admit he has a problem. Sit and have a real heart-to-heart conversation. Maybe plan something romantic and have him agree to do it. Like going out of town for the weekend. Also, treat yourself to a new hairdo, facial or something. It will make you feel better.

Answer 5

if he is watching adult movies and drinking he is definitely not thinking about you.

if sex is bad, not going out, never a vacation?

in two years 8 times you had sex? hell my wife and i had that in 3 days after we were married.(1969)

wow i think the old additive of money cannot buy happiness is very appropriate.

get your self a life lady. life is too short to be put through hell. he loves porn and a bottle not you. will become very abusive as time and situation developes down the road. you will be more miserable as he finds an outlet and mistreats you. get out while the getting is good.

Answer 6

You want an honest answer, here's one..
i work the same hours, and i also drink, and on occasion watch adult movies, but im not married. im single., i havent gone out in over 3 years or so. i like to stay home and just relax and do hobbies such as astronomy and guitar playing. so the problem is that your husband just likes to be alone, theres nothing wrong with that, if you want to go out, go out with your girlfriends and have a good time, and just remember when you get home, you hubby will be there for ya. . but on the other hand, as far as the adult movies and drinking, well if he's doing something physically with himself (putting it nicely). when your away, then that means he has lost interest in you sexually, and the drinking is enhancing his stimulation while he is watching the movies. sorry to be honest but believe me i know. you need to talk to him and have an open and honest chat. you might not like what you will hear, but the truth will come out.

Answer 7

I think if you have tried everything you can then you need to leave. It's not worth living an unhappy life, and his drinking and never taking you out, no sex etc...isn't helping either of you. He sounds like he has issues and you can;t fix them only he can, but if he doesn't want to make the effort, what can you do.

Answer 8

You have to look after yourself and what makes you happy. If you sit around and wait for him, you may be waiting for awhile. Life is too short to not be somewhat happy. Take a look at the good things and the bad things and weigh them out and decide if thats the way you want to spend the rest of your life. If not, then part ways, if you can deal and he is not willing to change, then stay. Good luck

Answer 9

You'll be a lot less happy when that 20K/month disappears. Sex you can get anywhere but a spouse that pulls down good money - and isn't around for most of the day? I mean, what more do you want?

Answer 10

It sounds like you're both unhappy. Speak to him and find out why is so unhappy and then try a marriage counsellor. Happy people don't hide indoors, drink in access etc... You might realize that both of you would be happier a part or you could help one another.