I am 19 and I want a baby?

Question

I am 19 yrs old and I am in a great place in my life right now. My fiance and I have been together for 6 yrs. We both have amazing stable jobs. I have been working at a daycare for a long time now, working with newborns-2yrs. Which makes me feel like I am completely ready for a baby because I know what it takes. I would like some imput. Thanks

for those wondering a little more about myself I do work at a daycare and have for a long time but I also started college at the age of 16 and I am almost done with my business majore. My fiance is several yrs older than I and is a partial owner of several local car dealerships. I havel lived with families in the past as a full time live in nanny taking care of the children 24/7 including nightly feedings. I know many people say to go out and have fun but I am the type that does not enjoy parties and would rather stay in. Thank you for everyones advice

Answer 1

You actually sound a lot like me and my fiance. We have been together for over 2yrs, have known each other for about four years, lived together for most of the 2yrs. We are both 19, he'll be 20 in Feb. I worked at a daycare for 1 1/2 yrs watching various ages of children but mostly little ones. People think it's hard taking care of one! Try 4-8 depending on the state and daycare guidelines. I spent more time a week with those children then some of their own parents did. My fiance and I have been TTC for almost a year (I'm not regular) and we don't tell anyone, even our friends & family because of the looks or remarks we would get. Even though everyone tells us we would make great parents (little do they know he he)Niether of us have ever been the partying type, we don't have the inclination to go out and drink and do drugs, we are homebodys. I just wish we could adopt (we aren't old enough) it's kind of screwed up that (almost) anyone can have kids but people who really love them and could support them can't adopt. I think it's espically hard on young women because they are biologically wired to have kids in their 20's but society has told them to put their education and careers first (I'm not dissing women who do) thinking it will be just as easy to have children in their 30's or 40's which is not always true. I say go for it.

Answer 2

Before you make the decision you have to think about a few questions first.
Is your relationship really strong even the most perfect relationship are put under a hell of a lot of strain when you have a baby?
Is your partner 100% behind you? Does he want this as much as you do?
Do you have a lot of support? Family & friends that will give you help with the baby?
If the answer to these questions are yes and you really don't want to wait then go for it.
If the answer is no to any of the questions I would try and and enjoy yourself go out, have fun, lie in at the weekends then in 6 months or a year when you are more ready then go for it. It will be so much more enjoyable and less stressfull if you have no money worries or problems in your relationship. I won't patronise you by telling you how hard and tiring it is to have a baby.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Does your job provide insurance? That is a consideration.

You may very well be ready but you also have to know that your job is a fun one ( I had the same job when I was your age) but you get to give the babies to their mommies and then you have your own free time. Are you ready to give that up?

Are you emotionally ready and have you thought about the fact that not everyone has a completely healthy baby. Unfortunately babies are born with problems every day and this can be a big stress on couples.

These are a few things to think about. Ultimately no one can tell you when it's right for you. There are certainly many girls out there having babies in far worse positions than you...
Good luck with your decision.

Missy

Answer 4

You know what...I can relate to you. I had a baby with my bf of 4 years. I was 20 when she was born. You will completely change when your child is born (which is natural) because they are the world to you. Knowing this, there is no other love that takes priority over it. Having a baby COMPLETELY changes your relationship with a bf. You begin to flip out if he "accidentally" didn't put water in the concentrated formula, you flip out if he "oops didn't see the dog licking your newborns face" and lots of other things. Point is, there is a LOT of strain on relationships, and it is to the point now where most first marriages/relationships end in divorce. I know mine did. My daughter is turning 2 in January (I'm 22) and sees her dad maybe once a month. Meanwhile I'm struggling to support her, work full time, and get my Masters so I can have enough money to provide for her future. I will NEVER have another baby without knowing that I can financially and emotionally provide for him/her by myself, which isn't easy. I know it's hard to think that you won't be with your bf together, because trust me, I was there too, but sh*t happens, and you need to be able to take care of this baby on your own.

Answer 5

I was 19 when I had my first and now am having my second at 20, lol. Its not easy by any means (never really is) but we are doing just fine and he is a happy, healthy, beautiful little boy with very proud and loving parents. If you are ok with the extra stress then I would say go for it...dont expect it to be a walk in the park, but as long as you two are commited and can support the baby you should be just fine. Good luck:)

Answer 6

Im 19 right know and i have 2 kids on is 2 and the other is 8 months and i want one more so i can be done....As long as you have a stable job and a healthy body is just try to have sex on the day you ovalate which is 12-14 day after your period... Good Luck... on the baby

Answer 7

If you and your fiancee feel ready, then that's your answer right there! are you guys getting married first? do what you two feel is best, bc you are the ones who will lives with your decision.

food for thought, though... work thru the finances with your fiancee before you make a final decision, bc you don't want to be fighting about money later on. decide now if you'll stay home with the baby, etc...

i find it very mature of you to openly ask for people's advice like this, and weigh all sides of your decision.

good luck with everything.

Answer 8

Talk it over with your man befor you decide that you want a child, chances are that he might not be read to have a child just yet, your still young and there pleant of time to have one. I'm 23 right now and I have a 7yr, 4yr, 3yr and one on the way, I do kinda wish that I would have waited. but like I said the choice is between you and your man. Good Luck.

Answer 9

I work at a daycare too. I think you are ready for a baby. Your pretty much old enough and responseable. I say go for it! your about to get married. everything should turn out fine! Best Wishes!

Answer 10

well, I would first say get married then think of babies. And also, just because you work with babies doesn't mean you can handle one yourself. Working with them is completely different then actually having one and being with one. It's harder when you have the baby in your presence at all times rather then just working with them. But you never know, you could make a great mother.