How can I help him get through this?

Question

My friend hat I have been talking about in my questions lately is very depressed lately. He found out that he will be having back surgery in a few months and won't be able to be the actine person that he is for a while. he is pretty depressed about that. his back hurts more than it ever has in the past this week. tonight i am going to his bday party and I want to try to cheer him up a little. when i saw him last night i reminded him that i have had a rough week also and he wasn't alone to try to cheer him, up, but i don't think it worked. Any suggestions as to what i can say or do tonight at the party to try to cheer him up, because when i talked to him on the phone this morning, when I asked him how he was, he said that he was the same as last night, depressed and in pain. PLZ HELP!

we are leaving for the party in 30 minutes so i need answers and i need them asap.

plz help me! it is breaking my heart to see him like this. last night when we were talking about all this he told me that every day he thinks about committing suicide. that scared me more than anything has ever scared me b4. He also said that he feels like there is no one out there who cares about him, who cares wether he is alive or dead. I told him that that wasn't true, that I care about him, and care wether he is alive or dead. I told him that there was a day where he saved my life (it's a long story). I told him that he is a father figure for me, because my real dad is hardly ever there, but he is always there. just like when my dad decided that a christmas party with his gf was more important than coming to my first ever in band. he was supposed to also go to a christmas party with his gf of over 7 yrs who he hadnever missed a date with ever, but instead of being t christmas party with his gf, guess where he was, he was sitting in the front row of the auditorium to see me perform

. he is a dad to me, so if he committed suicide, it would be like my dad dying. he told me not to tell anyone that he wanted to kill himself, but i told him that i had to tell someone, formy own good, so that if he did do it, i wouldn't feel as much guilt. i would still feel some guilt probably, just not as much, because i would no that i did as much as i could to try to stop him from doing it. PLZ HELP!

Answer 1

My aunt had back surgery, and she was in a lot of pain for a while before her operation. And she'll say that she totally regretted having back surgery for about 9 months. But once it finally healed it was the best thing she ever did.

At first it really sucked because she could barely move after surgery, but today she will tell you as bad as it sucked it was the best thing she ever did.

Tell your friend that there hope out there and a light at the end of the tunnel

xxx

Answer 2

Samantha sad that your friend is having such pain etc. at present time. But fact of life is that he will recover over time. Let him know how grateful he should be that he will be pain free and/or a lot better after his surgery. And then tell him to be grateful for this because there are a lot of people who have to live in pain daily or are not able to be active at all due to either birth defects or illnesses, etc. I know that it sounds kind of harsh but sometimes a reality check is the best thing to bring us out of our funk and look around and see others that have it much worse than we do. He may be a little taken aback at first that you are not giving him the sympathy that he is graving but will someday think back and see that you are 100% correct. Good luck to you and to your friend on his surgery.

Answer 3

All you can really do is reassure him its all gonna be Ok.....and that your gonna be a friend no matter what...and that you will be there for them.....really he is scared....and worried......but just tell him.....time will pass quickley...and he'll be back to his ol self in a while...........just be patient and see !! But just be a friend is really all you can do.......