I'm not sure if this is fair.?

Question

Today my husband finally talked to our neighbor about the tree that needs to be cut in our backyard. It took him 3 weeks and I constanly reminded him. Anyways he realized we need to get ahold of our landlord so they can do it. Well I am busy cleaning the house, and he needed the number so I found it for him. He asked me to call, but I said since you're about to drive for half an hour you should call because I still have cleaning to do. Then he got all mad and said that I never help him out. Which is bull because I cook almost everynight and clean the majority of the time, not only after him but his friend that lives with us too. Anyways he got mad about it and I got irritated and called him selfish then walked off. What do I do?

Extra info, yes I do work the same hours he does. And i didn't want the tree down the neighbor does because he's redoing his gutters.

Answer 1

I can see why you're upset. I guess wait until he cools down (and you do too) and then try to tell him that you won't do EVERYTHING for him, and that he can do things for himself.

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Okay, why the hell do you have one of his friends living with you? Does he pay part of the rent? Does he help clean? If he doesn't tell him to or kick him out, Second! You need to slap your husband in the face for saying that to you! He needs to understand that you hold the house together; though he brings in the money ( well I don't know if you do too but I'm just inferring by what you've said here) you keep the place clean and you feed him! Never walk away from an argument though, that's a sign of weakness and you're letting him win when you do so. (no offense to you) I've seen this happen a gazillion of times, talk and let him know how you feel.

Peace and luv,
HCK

Answer 3

this is all me you sound like me and my hubby we sometimes have this same thing going on here it is I have two kids from my ex husband and he has one from his ex wife, so on the weekends I have all three all day and I cook every day, I clean and mop floors every day and he goes to work, he works long hours alot but he gets to come home and be served like a king and when we go to my moms up north I do all the work up there too long story short we sometimes have conflict because I complain and say that I wish I could get a break because my job is 24/7 but in the end it works itself out because he starts to feel guilty because he sits back and sees how much I really do and then he says how much he loves me and takes me for granted somtimes and then I tell him that I love him and that if when I am venting and he thinks that I am complaining that I am not I am only letting off steam and he should ignore me sometimes but you were right in this case because you were in the middle of something and all you did was say could he please call so that way you could get finished doing what needed to be done sorry for the long answer but it makes it easier to give an example

Answer 4

While he is gone, sit down and make a list of all the things that the two of you do around the house. Your side of things and his side of things. List every single thing that you have ever done! At the bottom write: if you would like to add any items to the list feel free..........we can sit down and split the jobs fifty fifty. I never realized in our marriage we were keeping score. I did these things because I loved you. I am overwhelmed with all that I have to do and could really use your help.

Answer 5

Honestly, I think you should just make the phone call, and then get back to your housework. I understand that you're busy with cleaning, but think about it.. the time you took for you and your husband to get into it, over him not wanting to make the call.. you could have already done it yourself.

I can see how you both would be irritated with each other.. but it's really a very petty issue. Just make the call, and then when he gets home, have a talk. You BOTH need to apologize for the way you talked to each other. So, have a little talk, and explain to him why you were irritated about it. But please, don't let such petty issues come between you. It's really not worth it.

Answer 6

It sounds like he needs to grow up and you need to lay some ground rules, like get rid of this friend who lives with you and if he doesn't like it, tell him to leave as well. A marriage is two people, not three and those two have to take things upon themselves, like talking to the neighbor without you having to constantly remind him to do that and making his own phone calls. Try to get him to go to some counseling with you to work out some differences and if that doesn't work, move out and leave him and his friend to get by on their own. You don't need them but I suspect he will find that he needs you!!

Answer 7

Sounds to me like your husband doesn't want to deal with the tree at all. That seems to be more the issue than who does the most work. IMO if he's dealing with the tree, he should call the landlord and who cares who does what around the house.

Answer 8

Yuck, Hate those spousal fights. Talk to him once he's cooled down. State the problem, don't use words like always and never. Say something along the lines of "It really bothers me when you....because I often.....And this miakes me feel....." Then ask him about how he feels. "How do you feel about this? What can I do to make it better for you? Can you compromise with.......?" Keep you voice down, don't yell and try not to get too frustrated.

Answer 9

Ask yourself this, "who was bothered with the tree"? You. Who nagged for it to come down? You ! So what's the big deal about calling the Landlord? Why make a big deal bigger?

Answer 10

If you're having fights about telephone calls, you two need some counseling.