My parents tell my 16-year-old sister to come home at midnight, and most of the time she wanders in at 4AM. When my parents confront her about it, she acts as if she has a right to come in that late. My parents go to work early in the morning, and can't monitor her that late at night because they have to sleep. When they try and ground her, she goes out anyway, either from work or school. She's sassy, beligerant, never does any chores, and sleeps all day. She's already been kicked out, but my parents can't kick her out now because she has nowhere to go. I was never that way when I was young, I was reclusive and obeyed my parents. What should they do?
2007-10-27 08:29:37 · 10 answers · asked by Cybele 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
We have taken her electronics away. Usually, she just won't come home at all or call my mom a "*****"
2007-10-27 08:37:41 · update #1
My parents go to bed at 9PM. My sister comes HOME as my Dad wakes up
2007-10-27 08:38:29 · update #2
My sister has a job and works until 10 or 11 at night anyway. She has more spare cash than I do, and I'm 21
2007-10-27 08:40:31 · update #3
My parents never know where she is. Her boss is an a**hole and will fire her if she requests different hours. We live in a rural area, so there are a lot of places she can work which will hire her
2007-10-27 08:51:55 · update #4
AREN'T a lot. She walks home. It's at the end of our street
2007-10-27 08:53:01 · update #5
She has violated her parents' trust and will have to earn it back.
I read your comment about your sister's job. Ok, that's THE BIG problem right there. Your parents should not have let her take a job that lets out at 11 o'clock! She is using the job as her ticket to freedom because she works late and can drive where she wants to.
They should tell her she is going to have to change her work hours or find a new job since it violates the curfew.
Here's a plan - go even further by setting her curfew at 9 pm. Yep, that's right. They could say "you have violated the midnight curfew so many times that we feel we cannot trust you anymore. Therefore your curfew is now moved back to 9. If you prove to us for a while that you can come in at 9 then we'll consider moving it to 9:30....and so on."
If your sister refuses to change her work hours, then they should say "ok, we're calling your boss right now and we're going to talk with him." They can explain that house rules override outside activities, including her job, and they can tell the employer "we're sorry but our daughter is not going to be able to work past 8 pm....etc. Could you change her hours?"
Your sister is still considered a minor. Your parents are in charge of setting limits for her - not her or her boss.
NOTE - Read your last comment. Look, I don't care what her boss is like. The fact is, your parents should be in control and they are not. The situation is not hopeless. Every parent can and should set limits and when the limits are crossed, there should be CLEAR consequences. Your parents have allowed your sister TOO much freedom in the first place and now they are paying for it.
To fix the problem they are going to have to get super tough super quick or your sister is going to go off the deep end - totally - and run away from home before they have the chance to kick her out.
Your sister is sending a loud message to them and they aren't listening. She is saying "Don't you LOVE me enough to care where I am? Why don't you give me limits to keep me safe and responsible and then enforce those limits so I will learn to be a mature woman?"
If your parents say no to this job with these hours and the boss won't comply then it's the end of that job and your sister will have to find something else or just not work and concentrate only on school. If she rebels, then that is her choice and your parents will have to decide what the consequence will be for rebellion - and your sister has the right to know what that consequence wil be.
2007-10-27 08:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation I mean I came home a hour late a few times when I was 16 but 4 hours late is overboard. She shouldn't do that. Get your parents to do the exact opposite. Let her do whatever she wants. Then all they have to do is act like they don't care. Sometimes things aren't fun if she thinks the people don't care.
2007-10-27 16:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to use tough love. No going out at all until she proves that she can be trusted. No privileges such as TV. phone, Internet, etc. She is headed for big trouble.
I would put her in a boot camp.
2007-10-27 08:37:45 · answer #3 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is rather lucky to be let out that late. You shouldnt be worrying about her.teenagers sometimes are rude. Maybe you should bring her to like some kind of psychiatrist or something, if you really want to help. Good luck though!
2007-10-27 08:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by Jackie♥ 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
They should act like parents and give her a swift kick in the pants!
2007-10-27 08:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by amandafofanda66 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's not your problem. I'm sure they will think of something. She should have some freedom anyway, she's not a baby anymore.
2007-10-27 10:14:04 · answer #6 · answered by ちょうど、 アナ-ノエル。 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have harsh punishment for being late. take away cell phone, TV, internet,etc
2007-10-27 08:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by Samuel E 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly, it's not your problem. if it's really bothering you, since i'm assuming you're older than her maybe you could talk to her? just explain to her about responsibility and everything. she's just trying to push away from her parents right now.
2007-10-27 08:33:29 · answer #8 · answered by ... 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
take her car?
take her phone?
remove all rights!
2007-10-27 09:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
shoot her
2007-10-27 08:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋