I have been married twice but the second time was a mistake-I am not sure about getting married again?

Question

I was 18 the first time and although I loved him -we were too young to understand.(I still think about him every day).I was 36 the second time- I waited 17 years to get married again-I wanted it to be right. Somehow, I was fooled and lied to and cheated on and then left for another person.I don't trust my judgement now and I said this time it would be forever or nothing. Since I was conned I am not sure whether to follow that now or never "thing".

Thank you all so much! Except for John J.- a little bitter aren't you? I hope things get better for you.

Answer 1

It is not your fault that you trusted someone and they lied to you. Follow your heart and don't ignore signs. A lot of times we look over things becasue we love someone. In hind site we realize that there were signs. Just be careful not to over look things because you love someone. It could be your 7th sense telling you to run for the hills. Also don't give that jerk the satisfaction by giving up on love. There is someone out there that will love respect and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Good luck!

Answer 2

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about
baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists
of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them

Answer 3

I think Diamond pretty much said it all, and she's RIGHT ON, but I guess I'll throw in my 2 cents. First off, we woman tend to overlook red flags waving right in our faces because we're too googly-eyed over someone. I bet $5 you saw little things here and there BEFORE you married this guy, but excused them as him "having a bad day", or "saying things or being possessive or controlling because he loves me so much he is afraid of losing me". (Been there, done that)
Anyway, the point I'm going to make is don't give up on all people yet. You just have to teach yourself to pay FULL attention to any red flags you get. Though they may seem small, they might not be. If you do that, and listen to your gut, you won't go wrong. If you decide you want to be alone, that's fine too. But anytime we take the chance of "loving", we run the risk of getting hurt, but that's just how it is. The alternative is to go through life, never giving yourself, or loving and I doubt you want that. Just take some time to really get to know yourself again. Try not to look at people as "guilty until proven innocent" from here on out. Not all of them are! You're going to be ok, Hon. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us STRONGER, and a heck of a lot smarter! Someone will see all the great things you have to offer. You still have time. (At least that's what I tell myself, and I'm the same age as you.) Good luck!

Answer 4

Just make friends for the time being and you will find the right person but there are things you can do to avoid being conned, like a long engagement, and One thing you can do is to learn how to look at handwriting to tell what a person is really like. For example, if he ties a knot in the top of his letter O he can be very secretive and the slant of his writing will tell whether he is emotional or not. How he crosses his T tells you his goals, and so on. You can get a pretty good start at that from the site I will list below and that should go a long way toward giving you a way to tell who to trust and not to trust. Don't give up yet but have faith and look for him.
be like the boy digging in the pile of manure who exclaimed "there has to be a pony in here somewhere!" never give up hope.

Answer 5

You should date for a long, long time before committing to marriage again. When you first meet some one you are only meeting their Representative. You should ask a lot of questions. Find out what his values, interests and plans for the future are. Tell him yours. Observe him in social settings and see how he treats other people. Ask his friends and relatives about him. Find out his political views, spiritual beliefs, does he use drugs or drink alcohol? Is he well educated and capable and willing to support a family? If you want children does he? Is he looking for a partner in life or is he controlling? Does he think his only job is his work and he will come home and watch you do everything else? Does he like to do the things you do? Find out every thing you possibly can before you marry. Don't have sex with him until your wedding night.

Answer 6

I'm kind of like you. I walked into mistakes knowing so though. I have now been single 18 years and the next guy wo becomes a part of my life is going to have to be really special.

I'm kind of confused though, are you saying you think you sould just stay married to the cheater? IF this is so, NO......don't get the hell out!

Answer 7

im on my 4th marriage and never thought i would do it for the 2nd let alone 4th time. im in my 40s and knew from the minute i met my husband he was the one for me. he has a giant heart,loves and protects me,wants to always be with me, quit drinking for me,goes to church now with me,loves my kids,and dogs. he says thank you for even doing small things for him.does romantic things often. holds my hand all the time and never puts me second. hes the light of my life. when your younger its really hard to find a guy who wont cheat,there are a few. then you also have the ones with bigger egos then their head can hold. dont give up. i was dating another man when i met my husband and i wasnt looking.the other man was a heavy drinker and couldnt even remember to grab me a pepsi to drink,so we were over before we even started,then in walked my angel........

Answer 8

You don't want to be collecting ex-hubbies.
Why not wait?
Why not just live and be happy, and in time, when you feel it's right, this question won't even have to show its ugly head.
Don't be too harsh on yourself, but learn from your mistakes.
Good luck.xxx

Answer 9

i've noticed that more and more people are getting married more then twice get to know yourself date and make an educated decision on when its time to try it again but please try again

Answer 10

Give it up as a joke