are nt mine. i have no kids. we've been together for 1yr &1/2. as things got more serious with her the problems started. the kids are hellions, they hit me & don't respect me & they have no bedtime. i tell her this & the fact that they need a bedtime & she tells them to stop but they keep on. we were supposed to save money for a house but she blew her $6000 income tax check. & now she's broke. i was pissed. more & more i wonder why i am here in this relationship. i love her but its too much. i've been thinking maybe i'm nt cut out for this whole dating a girl with kids thing. i didn't expect this to happen when i got into this relationship. i told her about my feelings & she put me through this whole guilt trip thing saying if i love her i wouldn't run out on her. but if i stay in this relationship i feel like i will be very unhappy. now i found out that she has been friends w/ & texting some guy she's communicating online. i'm fed up!! she tells me he's just a friend. am i being used
2007-10-27 07:07:44 · 17 answers · asked by petey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow! run now and run fast. luckily you have no kids with her get out b4 you do. GOOD LUCK sounds like you are a pretty smart guy to realize all this. NOW is the time NO KIDS NO HOUSE.
2007-10-27 07:14:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being used and they may be hellions because of what she says to them when you are not around. there is nothing wrong with dating a woman with children if she teaches the children in the right way but she doesn't appear to have done that. If you love her, tell her you can't handle the kids not respecting you and get your own place for a while and see whether she does something to get you back or goes after someone else, as I suspect that she will.
Life is too short to be unhappy and there will be someone else out there for you, children or not, who can make you feel happy again.
2007-10-27 14:25:25 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but if you stay with her chances are it will only stay the same or get worse. The fact that she lets her children treat you that way says a lot about her respect for you. She doesn't seem to put many rules on the kids and that will be a big problem as they get older, that on top of the fact that they will not show you respect will be bad too. You have to think hard about this, she is talking to other men, not keeping her side of the bargains she makes with you and allowing her children to treat you disrespectfully, You sound like a good guy, don't let her rob you of that.
2007-10-27 14:28:00 · answer #3 · answered by Connie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First she has let the kids become the masters of the house and because of her bad parenting the kids rule the roost .When she allows her kids to disrespect you by hitting you and mouthing off with out any real disaplin then its like her saying she dont respect you either . If she truly respect you she would not let these kids do this . She doesint have the respect of her own kids and it sounds like she is even loosing yours . You are clearlie getting over your head and you seem to be realising you just cant handel this mess any more. You and her need to work this out if you realy love her only if she is willing to do something about the concerns you have . After you have giving her a fair chance to fix the things you have brought up to her then you have the right to leave no matter how much of a guilt trip she tries to lay own you . In the end your doing her a favor for putting up with all this bagage that she has .(i'am not calling her kids bagage just a hurdel to over come ) Lastlie you must tell her that talking with this guy is a deal breaker ,if she truly loves you she will stop talking to him because you will be willing to work on the other but if she want stop communicating with this guy its a deal breaker ,because its just too much for you to beable to deal with . The problems with her kids and the thought of her being unfaithful is too much to deal with and if she isnt willing to fix things and make a good effort then you have the right to leave because if she truly loves you she will try to address the situation . If she dont want to try ,or gives you lip and makes you feel quilty, this to me just screams she is just out for her and its a big warning sighn to bail because it just screams she is using you and you have the right to leave. Goodluck !!!!
2007-10-27 14:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by ted75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bad mother = a bad wife (and vice versa). She is not mature or responsible enough to be either one, so don't put yourself through the chaos of her life. Step out now before you are tied to her by marriage or a third child. She obviously has no serious intentions toward you if she could blow the much-needed money, and obviously doesn't respect you if she allows her kids to hit on you, and run wild. She might be 26, but developmentally she sounds 16.
2007-10-27 14:27:34 · answer #5 · answered by LunaRossa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is to much then you should do what is best for you. That may seem mean since there are kids involved but they are not yours and in my oppinion they should not have been introduced to you until it was a very serious relationship. THe 7 year old may get it but not at 4. Your gf needs to realize that if she treats you the way she does, then she is chancing losing you. And the guy thing would piss me off too.
2007-10-27 14:14:35 · answer #6 · answered by rsscismss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jimmy, I had a son from my first marriage when my husband and I got married, but my son loves and respects my husband and knows he'd be in deep trouble if he didn't; I've taught him to and my husband has earned my son's love and respect. I don't think it's fair for you to take on the responsibilities of supporting and dealing with two kids -that aren't yours- whose mother doesn't even teach to treat you with respect. She sounds like a very selfish, self-centered, irresponsible woman. She is in debt, has two kids already...is not even a good mother, and obviously not a good girlfriend -inconsiderate- Why would you even consider marrying a person with so much baggage? You deserve to be happy and find someone who values all that you are willing to give. Run as far away as you can before it's too late.
2007-10-27 15:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if you are being used, but it sounds like she is not being respectful of you in the relationship. You really have to consider someone elses point of view in a relationship, especially when you are getting involved with people who have children that are not yours. It's difficult I know. She really should be disciplining her children because it really is in their best interest in the long run for them, her, and you. As far as having a friend of the opposite sex when you are with someone, not a good idea....Good Luck!
2007-10-27 14:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by LoraC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the fact that she has kids, it is the fact that her kids have not been taught to respect you and the authority you bring and deserve by being in a relationship with her.
If you feel you're being used, by all means leave. That is why we date - to find out if we want to spend the rest of our life with someone.
2007-10-27 16:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like she is selfish and immature. with 2 kids she shouldve saved that money. also take it from me stepkids are a very hard thing to take on. if they havent been raised right u will be in for a life of misery. get out while u can
2007-10-27 15:01:16 · answer #10 · answered by pumpkinluvn04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋