How do you know when a relationship is worth the tough times?
- Lack of affection - I am very affectionate
- Lack of interest with sex? My sex drive is a lil over the top
- Dealing with blended family
- Have two different style of raising our kids.
He says he loves the chaos. With four children in the house under the age of 6 I think its necessarry to have schedule.
How do you know when theres to much there are to many differences to make it work even if you try to fight for it and make it work.
btw..we currently live together in a to small apartment and looking to move to a bigger place. Is it the space that is making everything amplified or is it the fact that we are too different.
2007-10-27 06:39:41 · 9 answers · asked by me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The space is probably a factor in it, but I think the big elephant in the room is you guys need to learn to compromise. All of the things you described in your post seem like typical marrital problems. So I wouldn't jump straight to divorce. Remember, its ok to be different, and different doesn't mean one is right and the other is wrong, its all about the compromise. My husband and I have a blended family, and we definitley have two different parenting styles. I am strict, he is laid back. And for the most part we balance the other out. Yes we annoy each other at times, but in ANY relationship,(friendship,kinship,or marriage) that is perfectly normal.
2007-10-27 06:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you are living in a small apartment is sure to make the situation amplified but you need perhaps to get some counseling,if for no other reason that you are able to arrive at some middle ground regarding the children so that they aren't getting mixed signals from the two of you. Some of the problems may be solved when you get into the bigger space but the fact that you are so different may mean that you both have to give a little. for example, allow a time for the chaos, and a time for the schedule also. Being different can drive the relationship apart but it can also add spice to it if you both work at it and find a middle ground somewhere.
Perhaps the lack of affection and lack of interest in sex can even be contributed to the small apartment rather than a bigger space and more room and you may find things much different and better once you make the move. counseling though should help as well.
2007-10-27 13:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think things will get better once you have a bigger house. things are always going to be complicated when you have 4 small kids. maybe you guys should set a balance. you make a list of things you MUST need in order for this to work out and have him make a must list, then you guys should discuss the problems and come up with some conclusions. you'd both feel better after you've solved some problems.
2007-10-27 13:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not feeling loved and appreciated (the lack of affection and sex is a big deal), then it's too much. Things like disagreements about raising kids could be resolved with tolerance and mutual respect, but if you're not getting enough affection, what's the point?
2007-10-27 13:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by Mich 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having more room will relieve some of the problem but it really isn't the core of the problem.... the real problem is that you are completely different types..... you are the mature and maternal one in the family while he does not really have a care in the world..... it sounds like he really doesn't want to help with the kids and is comfortable doing nothing which includes seeing to your needs.... I doubt that he will change so ask yourself do you really want to live like this!
2007-10-27 13:52:58 · answer #5 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are married you should stay together unless there is adultery.
Any one with children has a lot on their plate. It is stressful even in a big house.
Marrying some one from a divorced family is usually harder.
2007-10-27 13:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are too different - the signs are there right in your face. the adults (not just you) are suspose to hold down the chaos and you can best believe with all you said and if you do not take heed to what you see you will be very unhappy in a bigger place. - good luck to you and yours
2007-10-27 13:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by lynnette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just know! If it's NOT obvious to you, then it's probably not meant to be. You shouldn't have to ask yourself over and over again if this is right or not. If you love him, you'll do what you can to make it all work. If he loves you, he'll do the same. Relationships aren't supposed to be easy. They require a lot of love, patience and commitment... best of luck
2007-10-27 13:50:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need a vacation. If you're talking blended as in race, that's over the top, I would never do it. Sorry, too much culture clash for me.
2007-10-27 13:49:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋