How do you deal with or cope with difficult personalities in support groups?

Question

I want to learn how to do this both as a group facilitator of a meetup group on dating, relationships, and marriage; and as a participant in a group for people, such as myself, who coming to terms with largely childhood or relationship abuse issues. I think support groups are great, but I do still feel wounded and triggered by certain group members who are in the process of learning new behaviors and releasing inappropriate behaviors--e.g. controlling, caretaking, bullying, teasing, coming on to you sexually, etc.

Not like I'm this perfect person, but I want to learn how to be in a group with inappropriate people, just as I must learn to do this in the world--and not always resort to cutting people off or not getting my own needs met by leaving the group. In the past I've called it "voting with my feet." Any suggestions would be greatly welcome. I have a meeting this afternoon, and my meetup group starts in Dec. Can't keep walking away or putting up walls. NYC is lonely en..

Answer 1

Struggling with frustration,hurt and even anger because you're constantly challenged by difficult people in your support group leaves you feeling powerless since no one hears your anxiety.
Getting angry, avoiding the person, complaining or putting up with the abuse makes things worse.
Don't give up trying to create a positive change and don't settle for unhappiness and don't escape the situation.
To solve your problem try getting coached fromDr.MarkLauderdale a psychiatrist and personal effectiveness coach. He uses the wellspring method which he has written extensively on.
One last thing I learned from a buddhist many years ago.t when you lose control of yourself, the other person wins control over you. Lots of luck, I truly sympathize with you.

Answer 2

Nick stop !!!!!!!!!!! Breathe deep breaths ,,now focus. Quote : "The issue is that i find it extremely difficult to socialize and I am unfortunately a loner." Quote: "How do I cope with the extreme loneliness"' Quote: "I've accepted this because hey it's part of my personality unfortunately." Excuse me for quoting you but I have a point here that may help you. What you need to address here is your social phobia which is creating anxiety in your life, so much so that you have started to avoid certain situations because of it. You have learned to cope by avoiding socialising with people. This has in turn created an abyss in your life which is your depression. Your lack of social contact makes you feel extrememly lonely which feeds your depression and thus you are caught up in a vicious cycle. So instead of saying that you are unfortunately a loner, which is not true, say you have a social phobia. You see I believe that you would love to have human contact and friendships and support from people in your life such as family or work peers but you are terrified of being criticized and you just dont feel good enough around others. Now if you focus on your social phobia with a therapist and you take steps to reach out to somone in your life then slowly you will build the stamina to form relationships. You need to work on it because trying to treat your depression while you are miserable lonely and disconnected from the rest of the human race, doesnt' help in any way... There are therapy groups you could attend once you gain a bit more confidence. You can discuss this with your future therapist. You are not alone in this and you can meet other ppl that have similar issues. Please consider what I have told you because if you keep staying on the path you are in,it's not going to take you anywhere.

Answer 3

If you are the leader of the group, you have to separate your inner feelings from the subject at hand. You have to keep the keep the conversation on track. You can say, that is not what today's discussion is about or let's get back on track now. Do this in a pleasant manner. You can also turn the conversation back to topic by restating the topic and saying John we haven't heard from you, what do you think? Just be the Captain of the ship steering it in the right direction. Use NASCAR rules, straight ahead and then turn left, straight ahead and then turn left. This will help "Stay the Course". Gee do I hate quoting George Bush. :)

Answer 4

If there currently isn't a feedback session, ask for one to be scheduled. Each person must face the others in the group and hear what they think about him. When you give feedback, keep it simple and short and end with a good or approving comment.
C. :)!!