RE: I'm extremely shy. Do u have any tips?

Question

I'm 15yrs old and am sophmore in high school. I am very shy. I mean somedays i would go to school and not say one word. I am afraid that people would make fun of my soft deep voice. I do want to talk and make friends but i just don't have the courage.

Everyone is telling me to just start a conversation with people. But its not easy if you been in a shell for so long and don't know how to start and keep a conversation. Also people not hearinging or understanding what i'm saying doesn't help.

Answer 1

Look At Yourself - Really look at yourself. Stand in front of your mirror and take a good look. This is really hard for a lot of kids to do, but try - it's important. That's your face you're looking at and it's going to be with you for a long time, so it would be really helpful if you would stop worrying so much about it and start liking it. Learning to really look at yourself in the mirror and accepting all the good and not so good things about your face is an important step in feeling more comfortable with you and then, with everyone else.

Practice - It takes practice to stop being so hard on your looks. But, if you look at other people's faces, you will see that no one looks perfect. You may think your favorite singer or actor looks perfect, but everyone's idea of perfect is different. (And people look a lot different under all that stage makeup.)

Your job is to start seeing the beautiful things about you. It takes practice. You might notice that the expression on your face makes a big difference in how you look. The most attractive people have eyes that say "talk to me", not turn away. Can you say "look at me" and "turn away" with your eyes in the mirror? Do you see what a big difference it makes in the way your face looks? The expression in your eyes and on your face mean a lot more than the size of you nose or the color of your skin.

Dress for Comfort - It's important that clothes make you feel physically and emotionally comfortable. Clothes say a great deal about the person who's wearing them. Kids who want to fit in, tend to wear clothes that are similar to what their classmates are wearing. Kids who don't want to fit in (or want to be left alone) wear very different clothes to send people away from them. Parents may make silly comments about how kids all like to dress alike, but don't most of them dress alike too? If you walked into your parent's offices right now, you wouldn't see too many people who are dressed that differently from each other. People of all ages really want to fit in with the group they're hanging out with. That's really okay as long as you don't worry that your jacket didn't cost as much as your friends, or your sneakers are not the most cool ones or your jeans are one inch shorter than your friend's jeans.

Everyone wants to fit in, but it's more than okay (it's actually pretty terrific) to develop your own personal style that you can wear with confidence.

Hygiene/Manners - Okay, now that you've taken a liking to your face and your clothes, let's work on cleaning and manners. The simple fact is that if a kid smells bad and has dirty teeth, other kids and grown-ups won't want to come too close.

Now some kids think their face will melt if water comes too close to them, but it's really not true. Taking a bath or shower every day, or every other day (with soap) and brushing your teeth at least twice a day makes a big difference in every kid's appearance.

Not enough can be said about being polite. Using please and thank you in your conversations with kids and grown-ups says a lot. It says that you respect them. Everyone wants and needs respect

It's those casual conversations in school, or on line with our peers and friends that often become the most awkward moments of the day. Here are some tips for relaxing and improving skills. Remember that almost everyone feels uncomfortable when first starting conversations. Don't think about how scared you are. Just think about what you want to say and then talk...

Conversation Starters on the School Bus:

I think I have to take my jacket off. It's so hot on this bus today.

If there's a new bus driver, you can say: Wow, a new bus driver, I wonder what happened to our old one.

Did you have a lot of homework last night?



What are you doing this weekend?

Does your teacher give homework on the weekends?

I'm so tired. I should have gotten more sleep. What time do you go to sleep?



I take piano lessons after school. Do you take music? (If the answer is no, then ask what the person does like to do after school.)

Conversation Starters on the Lunch Line:

Wow, pizza again. I love pizza, do you?

Oh no, not macaroni and cheese. It's awful, don't you think? (of course you can substitute your most and least favorites.)

What do you like to play at recess? I like to........(fill in what you like to do).

Keeping the conversation going:

Did you ever get into a conversation and after a few sentences no one has anything left to say? Here are a few tips on how to get past those first few minutes.

In order to have an interesting conversation, you have to be an interesting person.



Stay involved in activities so that you will have something to talk about. If you don't do anything but sit around watching TV or playing video games there's not a whole lot to talk about.

Rather than spending a lot of time thinking about how uncomfortable you are, spend the quiet moments during the day thinking about different subjects and how you feel about them. If you're really sure about what you think about different subjects, talking about it becomes much easier. Think about: Do you like your teacher, softball, soccer? Do you like music and what kind? Do you like to read and what are your favorite books and why? Do you prefer Nintendo or Playstation?



Don't be disappointed if every kid doesn't share your interests. Each of us is different, with different interests. How we learn who we like to be with and who we want to be our friends is by honestly talking about who we are.

AND.....during a conversation, don't be afraid to ask more questions. Sometimes kids think asking questions is being nosey. Most people liked to be asked questions about themselves. It shows that other people are interested in them.



The key to a good conversation is balance. Take turns talking and really listening to what the other person is saying so that you can make a comment or ask a question to keep the conversation going. Remember that talking to other kids should be fun - being ridiculous or silly sometimes is also part of getting to know a new friend....

Answer 2

Do what they say !! go up to a stranger and say hey can i sit here at the cafeteria. or do something crazy like a weird stunt like putting a whoopie cushion on a teachers seat or hng protest posters around the school. You will get noticed!
At your age I had the same problem but after being in the service i got great with people try the ROTC inn your school (but please don't join Bush's idiots)
just to let you know I went from nerd 9in my day that was a person with a pocket protecter for his pens ) to President of the Entertainment Club of American International University at 45 years of age without even running and got reelected for a second term . SPEAK OUT your voice is wanted and needs to be heard
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Answer 3

hey shyguy, can i ask, how can they like you if you won't even make the first move? somehow, you can't make people to come near you and initiate a conversation. You have to make a move. As a friend, I would suggest that you join organizations in your school. They would provide you activities to get to know different people and then it won't be so hard to initiate conversations when you have something in common. I'm shy myself but I can initiate conversation. You can be shy but don't hinder yourself. You can start by asking questions you think they can answer and would spark up their interest (even if you know the answer haha). It's easier to start talking to people if you really are into something together. It would be more awkward if you just come near people and make friends out of nowhere. I hope this helps! :)

Answer 4

Yes, start looking people in the eye.
Soft deep voice, and you are shy?
Are you crazy?
That's just wonderful!

Look, if you hold your head up high with confidence, and speak with confidence, no-one will give a flip about what your voice sounds like.

Like I said, look the other person in the eye, maintain eye contact and speak as directly as you can.

If someone makes fun of you, they are not worth bothering with.

Also, do you have anything to talk about? Are you empty? Or too full?
I suggest you use that voice of yours to sing.
Or practice reading speeches out loud.

One day you'll have to work in an office, or a group, when you are older. You'll have to do presentations, negotiate with rivals.
It does not matter where you end up working, you'll need to make contacts and networks with people.

How will others know what you think when you keep quiet?

Speak out, speak up, and show yourself!

Answer 5

first you got to have confidence in your self -no one paying your bills but your parents -people in this world can be cruel at times but you got to love you Thur life some people will like you some will not look at the Christ child every body did not like Jesus so how can you expect them all to like you?? do not expect all to like you not meant to be that way .so you would be able to chose whom are the right people in your life .you got test 's in life to over come being shigh because you got a soft voice everybody is not meant to have same voice THE CREATOR gave you this voice something to be proud of what if you were a mute no voice or cancer victumes who had to go around woth a voice box so be thankfull .be you live each minute day by day thanking the creator you have what you do have .come out your shell knowing all will not like you but ah the ones who do not boy what a loss to them .you know! so hang in there and be you

Answer 6

I was the same way I needed to warm up to someone before I could start talking comfortably and it took a long time to warm up. I think it has something to do with trust issues, because we feel like we cant trust anyone. But any way I still have a hard time talking to grown up or parents because I dont relate in any way or maybe its because I know they dont care what I have to say. Well drinking helps me and maybe zanex

Answer 7

I used to be shy too. You just got to be strong . Start talking to people and before you know it you should have friends. You shouldn't be afraid of how you sound either. People hear it different than you do. Remember be strong and brave.

Answer 8

juz think, all ya gota do is get one person who sticks to you..
you'd probably have to start sticking to that person first..
and when u get talking and slowly build up self-confidence, then the rest will be a piece of cake.. more and more ppl will start talking to you and stuff..

i know its not easy talking to strangers or even friends of friends..
sometimes i juz sit there, and my mind wud be blank, i'd have absolutely nothing to say, when normally, when im with friends, i'd be like a chatterbox..
so, i figure talk about random stuff..
even the silliest of things may be a good convo topic.. u neva know...
so go for it...

all the best!~

Answer 9

This is a crazy, awkward age for most. I wouldn't worry about the shyness too much. Many girls find it irresistible. But when someone does approach you, make sure you're understood. Speak clearly and loud enough for them to hear. No one like a low talker.
I think you're fine.

Answer 10

i am shy too...but to make a friend...i just look for another person who looks shy and start talking whenever i see her...she is coming over to my house today to go to a skating rink...try it

how to start a conversation? well talk about something that has been going on...not something too personal...if you cant think of anything...just try saying...
"hi..." then if the person says "hi" back...
say you name and then if the person is polite they will say there name

Answer 11

Befriend someone who is loud and can't stop talking. They will get you out of your shyness in no time. Also, do more public speaking. I know that's hard but all this worked for me and I have become less shy around ppl I don't know.