who thinks life is what YOU make it?

Question

some people say life is what u make it - but i tend to disagree. i believe life is what OTHERS make it for you. there is no choice at all in life - it's other people who make you happy or sad, angry, bitter, regretful, guilty, content etc.

what y'all reckon

i think a lot of people fail to realise that how you deal with matters in your life is determined by things like your personality, character etc., and these are set in stone by your upbringing.

and if life is really what YOU make it then go outside your front door and look at all the unhappy people walking around - do you think they want to live unhappily??

Answer 1

I believe that life is what you make it. Here's why. Although I agree that things happen in life that we can't control (maybe there is an accident - someone leaves you - you win the lottery - etc.) most of the time (unless you have some sort of serious mental illness or chemical imbalance) you can choose how to respond to the things that happen to you. Don't believe me? Think about the people that you know who have really had challenges, but are happy. Then think about the people that you know that have everything, but are unhappy.

Here's an example. Let's say you have two women who've been abused as a children. One might give up - feel that because she has been abused that her whole life is ruined - and live that out. Another person with the same circumstances might resolve to deal with the issues and might decide to use her experience to protect children from abuse.

Answer 2

Life is how ever you chose to see it.

If you look at life from the perspective that you happiness or sadness is externally generated then that is the life that you will have.

If you take a little closer look you quickly notice that not all people respond similarly to the same situation. One may respond with happiness or sadness, angry, bitter, regretful, guilty, content etc. A different person may respond to the same situation with an opposite emotion. Which one is responding correctly?

The answer is both. Each responds from their own unique perspective. This perspective is the Foundation for the emotional response they have for the situation. Simply put it is a choice that they are making.

Love and blessings Don

Answer 3

Yes, life is what you make it. You do not have to let others spoil (or even enhance) it for you in the long term. Relationships and friendships can be terminated. So don't blame others: life is what you make it.

That's my view, anyway.

Even if other people make you happy or sad, they probably have their reasons for it and it will be due to some action on your part. Life is what you make it. Are you telling me that you've never made a choice for yourself: whether to move home, take a new job? It's easy to blame others for messing up your life but life is what you make it.


Added

Nothing is set in stone. I see miserable unhappy people sometimes going on about how life is unfair. I usually think that they deserved it. Many people are miserable for making wrong decisions, choosing the wrong partner, taking the wrong job. These are not irreversible: they just have to make the change, and sometimes the next and sometimes the next. It doesn't alter the fact that their life was what they made it.

Answer 4

I think this is not wrong altogether, as there is so much in our life that depends upon the happiness, agreement and approval of other people whom we share our life with; heaven know what people do to please, to appease, and to tease other people for their own good purposes. It is for instance highly prized in life that we should earn social approbation and mutual support. This is all very true and life would not be possible without all this. The question however is what are the other people, what society and what forms the multitude that we are but a part of? We are as much important and significant for many others people as they or some other people might be for us. I believe everyone in their life has had chances of influencing other people’s minds and hearts.

We cannot make choice to be singular and completely isolate in life. The processes of give and take in life will go one that we cannot stop as long we have need to reside with people in communal settings. We can however choose to have things that we like, that make us happy and content. There is no guarantee that we will always get what we wished for in response to our efforts but we still can make choices.

Life is what you make of it. Efforts therefore should be to make life worth living, and the best of all efforts is to be useful for a cause for, a purpose, for people and lastly for yourself.

Answer 5

As with many issues, people wish it were either or and may even line up on one side or the other. But it is a blend, as are many things. Certainly some things happen to us that we can't control, like who we're born to, how we're raised, etc. Even who we encounter later in life and whehter we're hit by a drunk driver or not. But a great deal of our lives can be directed by us - such as who we hang around with, how we behave, what reputation we establish, how hard we work - these things all contribute to the substance and quality of our lives.

The argument could be made that even our supposed "free will" is pre-determined because we're only going to follow our convictions and those are instilled in us by events, but I'm not sure that's entirely right, tho I can't say why not.

Answer 6

Of course you have a choice - I firmly believe that life is what you make it. You choose who you spend time with and you choose what job you take. No-one forces you to be happy or sad and if there are people in your life like that then you have the choice to move on

Answer 7

Other people definately make an impact...but its always an impact on your perception of the world...not of the world as it is. Other people can tend to distort things 'as they are'. I do think it would obviously be difficult if you're brought up surrounded by really serious negativity - but otherwise you get to a stage where you're old enough to make your own decisions and get out of a bad arrangement if need be. Im not one for blaming others. You're the master of your own destiny in this world, and unless you are seriously inibited by dreadful circumstances, you have no excuse for bitching and complaining about how little people move heaven and earth to placate you...

Answer 8

to begin with we have freewill or freedom to choose that which is right or wrong. going by your viewpoint of having "no choice at all in life" you seem to adopt a passive stance in life. perhaps you must take control of your life NOW.

until and unless the "other people" are ALLOWED to make me sad/ happy, angry, bitter, regretful, guilty and content i would not feel either of them. more than changing or dancing to the tunes of others we must take control of ourselves. it's all a question of attitude with which you move around here on earth. these aspects have a lot to do with expectations and desires we have from others.

if i don't expect my girlfriend to accompany me for a movie, i would not feel sad when she says NO or turns the idea down. getting my point? now guilt is something that's closely linked to the metaphysical. it's conscience within us that compels us to feel guilty about an wrong act. but if we harden out hearts/ minds...no more guilt trips to begin with.

Answer 9

Remember the parable of the talents.
The first son had 5 talents and he worked hard until these 5 were 20
The second son had 3 talents and with hard work they became 15
The third son had only one, he buried this in the earth as he was afraid of losing it.
When their Father returned he was greatly pleased at the first two but angry with the one that did not use his talent

Answer 10

But then youre letting those things affect you. If someone insults you, you have the choice to ignore it or let it get to you. I go for the first one and therefore what they do doesnt make me sad or angry. The same can be said for anything else.

So in a way its not life is what you make it, but life is how you take it