How do I bring my parents together again?

Question

My Mom and Dad don't love each other. They don't even care. They have been married for 26 years since October 22nd, and have caused each other nothing but pain. They are not anywhere near to divorcing only because of traditional reasons, but at the same time are not even thinking of someway mending up their marriage. It breaks my heart. I know I have to be the one to help bring them back together and I need advice to how to do it right from inside their house. Please draw me a picture!

I thank you with all my heart.

Answer 1

There is always a way.... bring God in to their lives, start with prayer, and be patient, let the Holy Spirit within yourself come between them and let it shine.

Answer 2

Your mom and dad do love each other. If there was no love, they couldn't have stayed together one week, much less 26 years! The first step is that you have to realize that. Years go by, and things get piled on the love, covering it up. It is still there. It is just hidden.
You say that they are staying together because of traditional reasons. Many troubled couples don't let that get in the way of them separating. So, that common respect for tradition is an excuse to protect the hidden love they have for each other. They would not be together is there was no love between them!
If they both like tradition maybe the past will bring them together in the present. Look at old photos and ask one about them, and listen closely to what they say about the picture - about the past. If you would like to help them see the love they have for each other, you have to see it and realize it.
Don't play favorites. It took them both to create you, and you are the biggest testament to their love.
Hope some of that will give you some inspiration. They love each other. You just have to help them realize it.

Answer 3

Well you have your work cut out for you and a broken heart. Sometimes a husband and wife forget why they got together in the first place because of everyday stress and life. They lose their selves as well as love.

I am not sure if your parents are open for a family meeting with you and both of them but its worth a try.

First you will not be able to fix the past between them and they may not be able to fix it themselves but you can help lead them to a future.

It sounds like they are together only for their belief reasons so at least you know that they have a small foundation started.

Now you can start by thinking and writing down as many questions that you can think of that a married couple would have to go through such as, cat or dog?, t.v. in the bedroom or not, favorite foods, resturaunts, interests ect.. Peoples interests and thoughts change over time so they may not know each other like they thought they did.

Create a chart that deligates territories for each of them such as who will prepare the budget, pay the bills, shop for groceries, decide on the eal menu, chores ect.. Maybe they are upset with each other because they feel like they are invading each others territories yet they have never really assigned territories to each other.

Ask them when was their last date, what was the last nicest thing that they did for each other.

Have them write down their dreams and then ask them how they could help each other achieve those dreams.

Be creative and make sure you tell them how you feel and how their relationship is affecting you.

Best of wishes...

Answer 4

I've been where you are. To be honest though, if there is no love in the marriage, then everybody will be better off with a separation. I know it's tough, especially on you - and I feel for you so much. But believe me... the love between your parents will never come back. I'm sorry, but that's the truth.

They will never stop loving you though. And I know you love them... that's why you have to let them do what is best for them. If that means separation, then that's the way it has to be.

I'm so sorry I can't give you an answer about how to bring them back together. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.

I've been where you are. I know how you feel. Be strong - your parents will need that from you. And always remember - whatever happens, you mean the earth to them.

Good luck - and be strong. It will make it easier for your mom and dad.

Answer 5

If your mother and father knew who they really are and where they came from spiritually, they would not be so selfish.

Mending a damaged marriage is very difficult, and not always possible. People get it into their minds that they are irreversibly injured by the other and will not forgive.

The most important thing you can do is to love them and be the best you can be. You have to be the adult in the family and do the right thing always. Their example does not have to be your pattern.

You need to develop your spiritual strength for you to get through this unscathed. Know that our Savior loves you and is there for you if you call on His name. Your situation is not unique and there are lots of support from your Church. Get involved in good things. Volunteer at the hospital, church, Salvation Army, a political campaign, school, etc. Get outside yourself and set the example for them. At the same time, you will not have to be so involved in your parent's selfish behavior.

Marriage is ordained of God. Your parents should recognize this and repent of the evil they have done. They may not get back together, but at least they can be better people and someone you can still be proud of!

Answer 6

i understand how you feel but try to bring yourself in their place. if you had a relationship and it wasnt working anymore, you think it would have been easy to fix it? first of all, i dont think that they dont love each other. i am sure they do, they have children together and that is something that will connect them for ever. but being a couple and in love is a totally different thing that cant always last forever. your parents will always love you and each other but in another way, with a more profound love that unfortunately doesnt include passion or the love that bonds a couple. the worst thing is that they are two young people who can build their lives again and live happily maybe with someone else but dont try it out. i understand the traditional reasons you mentioned but you should try to persuade them to get over them and get the life they deserve. living together and being unhappy wont drive them anywhere. instead, they make their children unhappy too.

Answer 7

Look - if you did study and research into parasites - no pun or joke intended - parasites actually take over one's thinking patterns and can bring on a life of pain and suffering that is unimaginable.

Do some study and than get your parents interested in cleaning out the parasites and their thinking and their hearts will clear up.

For instance - there are parasites that get into ants - and make the ants go up on the highest parts of the grass ... and make them wait there until a cow comes to eat the grass - hence the ant is eaten as well ... and ...

The parasite can not propogate in the cow's intestine. There is no other place this parasite can propogate - except in the cow's intestines ... it actually takes over the mind of the ant and it's will to do the will of the parasite who sacrifices the host ... crabs and grasshoppers have the same problems with certain parasites.

Your parents - if they ever ate a pork chop or ham ... shrimp, clams, oysters, catfish and/or etc. ... are probably full of worms and other parasites that are impairing thier thiniking.

If you can get them on a great cleansing program - you can save them and their minds might come free enough to realize they have been living a life in a trance induced by toxins and/or etc. that the parasites have been pooping in their bodies ... everything eats must poop - and when it builds up it causes many health issues - including mental problems where hatred comes from.

hope this helped some;

Aintmyfault
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Answer 8

I'm not sure how old you are, but I assume you are in your 20s, and possibly have some money? If so, I would consider scheduling an appointment with a marriage counselor. Then go to them and say "It's important to me that you attempt this".

If it's important to you, I'm sure it will be important to them. (Without your input, that will not be the case, apparently). You foot the bill. Tell them there's no discussion to be had about that. You pay the bill, and they go. (They may or may not pay you back later, but regardless, make it so they have no excuse not to go)

Let the professional handle it from there. A qualified marriage counselor will make them talk. And the outcome, whether you like it or not, will be in both their best interests.

But regardless, marriage troubles are not rocket science. There are rules about how this stuff works. And a professional will sort it out for them.

Good luck, and keep a positive outlook!

Answer 9

~~~ Kaithy ,,,, Most Respectfully,,, Please take a moment to re-read your Q. You will find that it is Highly Illogical. If we assume you are correct that your parents do NOT love each other and don't care, have caused each other nothing but pain,,,, and you want to bring them back together,,,,WHY? So they can spend the rest of their lives in the Misery of Each Other's Company. Regardless of how old you are you MUST accept the Facts of Life that people make babies and fall out of love with each other. My mother had 2 husbands until she found a 3rd who she has spent over 40yrs with. ~ Namaste`

Answer 10

You are setting yourself up for a great deal of heartache and pain if you don't step back and stop taking responsibility for their marriage, it is their responsibility not yours...

Once you have stepped back, stay back, your parents can deal with their own marriage simply keep yourself from being dragged into the middle..

You can not mend their marriage... They have to make the choice and take the steps themselves...

In order to make your home life a bit better I suggest you set them down and tell them how much their continued arguing and fighting hurts you... Ask them to please stop fighting and arguing in front of you and to not drag you into the middle if that is one of the things they are doing...

Children often blame themselves for their parents marital problems when in reality the problems are not the childs to assume....