A bit of background info: My dad died two years ago and at least once a week my mom lectures me about not loving her or my siblings. This lectures last about an hour and I NEVER can say exactly what SHE wants. What do I say to her. I want to scratch my face out after being lectured to. I hate that I look the slightest bit like her.
2007-10-26 20:14:25 · 14 answers · asked by Treefaerie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm a little confused, she lectures you that you don't love her and your sisters? She is CRYING FOR SOME SIMPLE GESTURES OF LOVE FROM YOU AND YOUR SIBLINGS. She is devastated that she lost the love of her life, your father, and is certainly still grieving. Try to take the time to console her on a DAILY basis- just a 5 minute chat- oh mom, how are you today, maybe take her out for lunch, be a friend to her because it sounds like she doesn't have anyother family members to confide in. If you inititate a conversation with her before she bothers you, you just may start making her feel a little better...if not, you better pray she gets help and if you become friendly enough with her, you may suggest she see someone for counseling, in fact, your whole family should see a counselor for grief management.......good luck to you honey, and please be patient with her...to give you a perspective of her pain, think of your favorite pet dying and how devastated you felt and multiply that by a million and then you'll know how your mom feels....
2007-10-26 20:22:45 · answer #1 · answered by mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do YOU feel? Your mom is trying to cope with the situation as she sees it, probably not too well, but most of us don't cope all that well. What brings on these lectures? Is it something you said or did? It seems as if you need someone to talk to because you do seem to have some anger and resentment for the situation you find yourself in. Talk to your clergy-person if you have one, a school counselor, teacher, or therapist. All of your family may need some counseling because the coping strategies your mom and you have chosen don't seem to be working too well.
2007-10-27 03:26:22 · answer #2 · answered by jelesais2000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids just kind of got glassy eyed!! I realize now that having hour long lectures did not resolve what I was trying to resolve. I short,clear explanation with boundaries is best--and consequences if you overstep those boundaries. Your mom and you may want to read a book on Codependency. It has helped me tremendously. Good luck!
2007-10-27 11:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart you may one day be in the same situation. Your mother is lonely and you and your siblings are all she has It's not the same as having a loving husband but she will love you dearly and be finding it hard dealing with you without your father.
2007-10-27 03:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that your mom is probably still very emotionally in shock because of the death of your father. You need to just sit her down and explain to her how the lectures make you feel. Give her a chance to explain herself.
2007-10-27 03:19:41 · answer #5 · answered by wonderwoman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U said, yr dad left u all 2 yrs ago. Yr mother took all pains.She feels insecure and as if she is being overlooked by u.Trytounderstand her sorrow. Give herdue respect, love and care.Take her advice on evensmall issyes. Take care of yr youngsters.Hope U will notice changes in her.Never allow her to feel lonely.
2007-10-27 12:17:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look , just for once , sit down with your mom and get everything out in the open . more than likely your mom wants or needs some kind of love , she lost her husband and is more than likely totally confused and probably really needs you in a way you just dont understand yet . i know you miss your dad ,as your mom does to , but give your mom a chance , she lost her husband , best friend and the father of her children . your mom is trying desperatly to give you a message , listen with your heart , your moms heart is broken just like yours is . he was your your dad , but he was her life....
2007-10-27 03:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by sindi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I listen, but then my parents are nothing like your mom is... I am really sorry that you have to go through that. If there is some possibility that she has a point, then see if you can work on it (ie not missing curfew, not swearing at/around her) but if she's just being abusive then you should talk to a school counselor.
2007-10-27 03:19:39 · answer #8 · answered by Rat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But as you experience I'm sure with your father... Every precious moment we spend with our loved ones sometimes is the most important thing. Put up with it my God... she is your mother and will not be with you someday and then you will wish she were here to chew you out all the time. Even if what they are saying is habberdash it is still worth it I think to have them around and to be around them.
2007-10-27 03:20:18 · answer #9 · answered by JORGE N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just listen to your parents words with both ears closed but behaving as if You are listening eagerly.
2007-10-27 03:19:42 · answer #10 · answered by avi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋