when i first met my husband i was 5'9 and 150 pounds.....nice chest, big butt and small waist....i did not realize how cute i was until now looking back..but anyway..since i had my lil girl who is now 20 months old i have had a hard time with my weight...I am 5'9 and i have gotten down to 185pounds (smallest i have been in 2 years) but i have no self esteem left....i dont even get naked in front of my husband and when we are intimate all lights off and i dont let him look at me or we may not even get intimate b/c i get ashamed of my body and i cant enjoy it.....how can i build up my self esteem and feel sexy in my own skin? i want to feel pretty again but when i look in the mirror i just see this gross person and i cry!
2007-10-26 19:12:01 · 12 answers · asked by jewelry lady! love my job 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do watch what i eat....there are NO SNACKS in my house...and the only thing i drink is water....i eat pretty healthy overall.....i am just a big boned/thick & curvy person!
2007-10-27 07:45:57 · update #1
at 5'9" a woman can easily be sexy right up to 200lbs (even further in some cases) - sexy comes from inside, not from the frame you are carrying.
if you think you can handle it, put on your snazziest outfit, do yourself up a little (not too much - you're not actually out to sell anything) and spend a few hours on your own at the mall looking in shop windows.
only you won't be looking in shop windows. you will be keeping a quiet eye out for men who check you out.
and there will be men who will check you out.
you are married, you have a child, you are beginning to be accepting of your own body. you are way sexier than almost any teenager (teens are always so needy).
as you learn to accept yourself more you will become sexier still. your husband is going to be a very lucky man. (if it is your husband you choose to share yourself with).
2007-10-26 23:43:11 · answer #1 · answered by synopsis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HA! Tg, ever been depressed and tried to go on a diet?
Oh sweetie. I know what you are going through. I just had a baby 9 weeks ago after a difficult pregnancy, and though I WANT to lose weight, I just don't have it in me. When do you have the time with a little one?!?! you barely have time to eat for yourself, let alone count calories.
My advice? Your husband loves you for who you are, and is attracted to you or he wouldn't be there! Stop being so hard on yourself! Buy some healthy snacks and take it one day at a time. Take lots of walks with the little one. One day at a time... repeat after me.... I am beautiful. I am sure you are. We women are too hard on ourselves. I think once you lose a pound or two just cutting DOWN a little bit, you will start to get more on track. Try Sparkpeople.com. My sis was almost 300 pounds, and she is down to 150. If she can do it (she is my personal hero) than I really think anyone can.
Best of luck! you are not alone!
2007-10-27 02:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by Kimmi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ideally your hubby will love you and find you sexy no matter if you are 150 or 185 or whatever. you can try to lose the weight little by little (its hard i know) but also what you can do in the meantime is stop imagining yourself as gross and imagine yourself as sexy. just swallow that fear that he is looking at you with disgust (i am sure he is not) and work with what you have. hiding in the dark and being inhibited with your life partner cannot be sexy ever. trust him that he is not so shallow to see you only as a one dimensional fatty. there is more to your sexuality than your skin. bite the bullet and play up what you have. if you have to pretend to yourself you are the sexiest woman he has ever known and flirt and call him to you like a muse you will see the self esteem will come back. baby steps.
2007-10-27 02:29:20 · answer #3 · answered by C B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You'll feel better about yourself if you can get in shape. Most women do better with company. Try weight watchers, Jenny Craig or one of the other programs where you meet with other women and support each other. Join a gym. Go to workouts just for women. When you feel hungry, go for a walk instead. Get all the junk food out of the house. Drink only water. NO sweets at all. Add more fruits and vegetables to your diet and cut down on bread, pasta and other starches. Keep your eye on the goal. Post pictures of women who look like you want to look on the fridge. Ask your husband for support. You can do it. Good luck.
2007-10-27 02:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by TG 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not to be mean or anything, but have you been working out? I know it's hard getting rid of that after birth weight but it can be done! Get more active in life with a good diet....A great work out where you can stay home and that is really effective is the P90X work out. I've been doing it and I've lost 10lbs in 2 weeks. Good luck!
2007-10-27 02:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by kauaiian55 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been there. The easiest way to feel sexy about yourself is to do sexy things. Try new things, do a lot of your old favorite things...just get in there and do something fun.
The science behind it is that sexual activity releases all sorts of chemicals in your brain, including endorphins which make you happy and other chemicals (which I forget the name of) which actually make you more inclined to be sexual. That's why people who have more sex don't get tired of it, they just want more.
Good luck to you and your hubby!
2007-10-27 02:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't be upset with your own body image. Looking in the mirror can be the most difficult thing to do sometimes.
It is difficult to look inside yourself for beauty: that is why we are always comparing ourselves to others. Don't do it to yourself, either. That is VERY destructive.
Talk to hubby. I bet he loves you more than you think.
Have a pampering session. Give yourself a break.
But talk to him. He will understand. Do something daring!!!
Don't cry... :)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
He loves you.
2007-10-27 02:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by Andrew C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just consult a good doctor who may tell u some good physical exercise and a beauty expert. also consult a dietician. with self determination, expert guidance and sincere efforts u will regain your shape and be very sexy. good luck.
2007-10-27 02:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Walk around the house naked! It will help you accept yourself better.
2007-10-27 02:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey u still have all that, its still there, and if you want it back, then get it back it will take some work but u sound as though u are willing to do it, good luck
2007-10-27 02:21:38 · answer #10 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋