6 Months ago i gave birth to my daughter and moved in w/ my now ex boyfriend and who still lives w/ parents. 2 1/2 months later he kicked me out and put all my belongings outside of his house, so I had to move back home w/ my parents. He kept our daughter and would not let me take her. there was nothing i could do b/c there was no custody order! A few days later he filed for sole custody and would not allow me see my baby except at his house when he is there. I had been the one caring for her everyday while he was at work and even home. I have been the one to get up w/ her in the middle of the night several time a night and everything else! His mom turned on me and basically thinks my daughter is her baby! We have gone to court only for the status hearing , he agreed for me to have our baby during the day while he is working and every other weekend until the trial. He always stays home from work those days does not allow me to see my daughter.
2007-10-26 18:41:28 · 6 answers · asked by hello 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What are my chances of getting physical of my baby?? I also have a 5 year old daughter (who has a different father) , she has not been able to see her sister much at all and has not been able to bond with her!
2007-10-26 18:46:01 · update #1
Have you contacted an attorney? I don't understand how any official would allow an infant to be away from their mother unless there's an issue with the mother being unfit. Particularly if the child is supposed to be breast fed. If you haven't been listed as unfit, you're not barking up the right tree. You better hurry, call the news or pretty much anyone that will listen. The longer you're apart from your child the longer he goes without a mother. If you have nothing to worry about, put your story out there. It's amazing what an effect a little media coverage can have on a judge.
Oh, and I realize I'm scolding now but, quit playing house! Look at the potential damage your child is going to suffer because you're doing things out of order. Do what ever it takes to protect the little one.
2007-10-26 18:48:37 · answer #1 · answered by CUrias 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, this is going to work out. You're the mom, period. Perfection is not required. Neither is living with the dad. And she stayed with his family because you didn't have a custody order? It seems you've gotten some bad advice, at least from the dad's side of the family.
You talk about a court hearing, but do you have legal assistance? (It helped a friend of mine who had a very similar situation arise when she became a mom at 17.) Write down your complete account of everything that's gone on with you and his family, as far back as you can- and add to it with daily journals of any contact with her or them. Courts love records and documents. Your local police department or a women's shelter might offer some of the support it's clear is missing. Schools can offer direction, too, as can church pastors (even if you haven't been a regular at their church).
Take care of yourself through all of this, for the sake of your daughter. If you're not done with high school, sign up to finish; consider further education or job training (it will help, down the road, and demonstrate your dependability in any court hearing). Get healthy. If you're not eating well, start to now. Get a good night's sleep each night. Take care of yourself to help you take care of her, when she rejoins you, and to demonstrate you are a responsible parent. Be a responsible parent. Sometimes it's hard to hang out with the crowd you were part of before, but you can join a support group or infant play group to do things with other new moms - or more experienced ones.
Are you currently working? If not, arrange a job to help you support your daughter. Arrange for someone to watch her while you cannot. Remember some colleges offer financial aid and daycare facilities.
When I read your question, two things seem wrong: One, that you and your daughter are separated. And two, that you aren't getting the support anyone in your position should be able to count on. Are your parents helping you, or are dealing with other issues? When our self-esteem is hurting, we don't necessarily connect with constructive people; we believe what goes wrong is our fault and we don't deserve or can't have good friends. We end up with people who bully us or take advantage of us. So once again, I say, be good to yourself. Expand your social group, as much as you can (I know it's tough when you're depressed, or busy with a baby) to include positive, reliable people. Churches and adult education sources might be a place to start. So are parenting classes; these both help you in being the best mom you can be, and put you together with other people going through the same things.
One more thing: while it seems as if any custody decision has to take note of how the dad's family has demonstrated a disposition to remove your daughter from you, if it is at all reasonable to do so, see if your combined families can get some counseling- or to otherwise work out the differences and get past the hostilities. In the long run, it will make your and your daughter's life much less painful.
Excuse my long answer, but I'm talking here as if these are ways to plan to have her back in your life as you'd like, because there's no reason to think you won't. Hang in there.
2007-10-27 03:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be in for a rude awakening when the time for the custody hearing takes place. gather all the witnesses you can as to the fact that he threw you out - anything you might have on paper would be even better - and keep track of when he does not allow you to see your daughter and the reason for that as well. Hopefully, the trial will be soon, your daughter will be with you, and he will be paying child support payments.
2007-10-27 01:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sorta went trough the same kind of situation, but took my daughter with me, i don't know where you live, but in most states if you were not married and have a child, the mom has all rights unless otherwise determined by the court, I would get a lawyer it can even be from legal aid, just someone who knows the laws on your side. good luck
2007-10-27 01:48:52 · answer #4 · answered by jesser31285 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you ex boyfriends mother is behind all of this. She wants the baby and does not want you to have it. She could say all sorts of lies to get her too. You need to have your parents stand up for you since he will have his mother stand up for him.
I do not understand how they could throw you out and keep your child and then the courts not let you have her. It would have to be his mother behind it!!! It will be only your word against theirs when the trial comes up. Your chances could be slim if they have quite a bit of money compared to you and if the court believes their story they will tell.
2007-10-27 01:53:46 · answer #5 · answered by craft painter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you shouldn't have moved in with him.You should be glad you can at least see her.I have a friend who's parents split when he was very young.His father wasn't even allowed to see him.Consider yourself lucky.
2007-10-27 21:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋