How do i deal with insane parents?

Question

i am a senior and my parents seem to hate me, i came home last saturday an hour late because i was having an important conversation with my gf, and i told them i was going to be late and nowi'm grounded for a whole month! i was grounded for half the summer and so far 3 months of combined time this year. they also hate my girlfriend. they're rude to her and tell me we're too serious and that we spend too much time together and that they're tired of her. my parents have some set plan for me and now under my groundation they have me living it out exactly as they hoped. i'm done dealing with them, they said they wouldn't make my senior year hell but they lied, i get grounded for every little thing. i can't wait for college so i dont have to see them again. how they act in these next ten months are going to reflect my attitude towards them for the rest of my life, and so right now they'll be lucky if i even send them xmas cards. any opinions anyone? can anyone relate?

Answer 1

I could see it if you were a less than pleasant person to be with, but it doesn't sound like you are a delinquent of any kind. Perhaps by grounding you all the time, your parents are really saying they want you to stay home - they don't want you to leave them. Regardless, live your life the best you can as the time will pass by quickly. Have a long memory and don't do this to your own kids someday. Find true love and love those who love you without fail. Sadly, face the reality that some people are just mean without reason. Even parents.

Answer 2

Oh, the joys of living with parents while in high school. If I had to do it over again I would suggest...having a calm, mature discussion with them about your feelings. Keep it about YOUR feelings that way that can't come back with any parent crap. You're not saying that you're right, your discussing YOUR feelings. If your parents still don't respond then limit as much interaction with them as possible. Don't give them any reason to ground you. Come home on time, do your homework and you'll get through the rest of the year, go off to college or out on your own and try to make it in this world just like everybody else does.

To make you feel better, my Dad wouldn't let me date or have a boyfriend when I was in high school and through a fit when I had a boyfriend in college. Now I'm married to that boyfriend even though my Dad thought we would never make it. We've been together longer than my Dad and Mom---got divorced.

Answer 3

Senior huh? How old is senior? I don't know where the age line is drawn... none-the-less....

I doubt that your parents HATE you, but they might be over-worried about your life and what you'll become. Some parents have a HARD time LETTING GO. Some parents have to be reminded to "LET GO".

Your parents have to be remeinded that you are in fact your own person, and are in fact growing up to be yourself, and will have your own life one day - and that life will be YOUR choice and no one else, and certainly not theirs.

There is a (Wiccan) Poem - and I can't find it right now - but it's called "The Mysteries of Life", and in it it goes something like this...

"Our Children are not our own - they are the arrows of life, sent forth from us, but they are not US.
We house and feed and nurture them - but they do not belong to us.
We cannot go where they go - not even into their dreams"

There is more to this poem, and I'll find it later I know.

I mention this because it fits so well with your situation.
Guidance is one thing, but control is another - children have rights too - just like parents do.

If you're living in their home, try to be as respectful as possible without giving up your true self - providing that your true self isn't violent - that wouldn't work with me either.

If you talk to them - Honestly and Openly, AND INTELLIGENTLY - you should be able to come to a common ground. BOTH parties have to give and take here - in reason of course.

Do as you will, but harm you none - and try to work this out.

Answer 4

I know that now it may seem that your parents suck big ones....... But in all honesty you WILL look back one day and wish you were this age again. Your parents sound a little strict but they are just looking out for you. Just try to be on your best behavior, there are a lot of things coming up- Senior skip day, prom, graduation parties, and lots and lots of other things, that I'm sure you don't want to miss. Soon you will be out of there and you will have your own rules. I just wished parents who are strict would realize that when your child leaves home they will be in a lot more trouble because they didn't let them get by with anything. Children of strict parents tend to go a little nuts when they first leave home.

Answer 5

This isn't enough information to form much of a solution.

So, God bless you. Wrong is as wrong does. Don't do wrong yourself.

1. The problem, with these types of things (beside the fact; that we don't know who may be just partly insane, or some other problem, and we also lean toward wrong, "either or", thinking)... is; that it quickly falls under the banner of "politically correctness". Evidenced by the (well meaning) statement another wrote, that parents only have your best wishes, at heart. Well maybe, and maybe not. "Usually", is not always, and its incorrect to assume. Love is, as love does. A parent loving a child is typically, a given. So much; that it's expected. However, in atypical situations, mothers have drowned their children. Where's the love there? The best of intentions, right? Not.

2. Also, people don't know what love is; but we can start going with what (long term) good we know. My use of the word, "love", above, probably has you thinking kittens, kisses. Thus, supposedly the easy end, to all abuse, war, and strife. It's unbalanced peace, and love childishness. Don't get your morals; from abusers! Now, it is true, love is the greatest, and love is what we fail at the most. Love should be our, number one, goal. Yet, what about justice? You see; because justice isn't some counter to love; justice is love. What love is unjust? Mercy, is what people tend to think of, as love, and yet mercy is; but one great pillar, of love. The hardest for us, to be sure. "But to do justly, and to love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." (That's the bible kids). I note; that all three, are in this summary; of how to live, and your main purpose, and task; while here. I also note, the order; that they are listed. Hmmm. Would you stand by, and watch child abuse, or leave all that justice, to God? See? God's says (in the Bible); that OF COURSE we should do justly; but this means following; what God/Jesus actually did. NOT, what people(sick abusers) always say He did; but what He actually did, and said. In fact, as accurately recorded. Separate (arms length) yourselves from those who will not listen! Hey, it's what God does. Your choice, after-all. Keep praying for them, and if consistently repentant, of course we always forgive; but forgiveness does not necessarily include a togetherness toward the unrepentant. You only come back together; when the abuse stops; for good. Not on again, off again! Not when unrepentant. Read your Bible.

Anyway, the PC crap comes in; where most people quote the "Honor your mother and Father", commandment. It's guilt, ...the misinterpretation, that's wrong. Honoring someone, and ESPECIALLY a close relative, is only to be done; for good, honorable, actions! In fact, if you "honor" someones miss deeds; that is actually dishonoring them(and you); because it's hiding the truth. That only fosters co-overly-dependent abuse. These can only be called down; by the victim. If you do not say, hell no, to abuse, then no one can really help you(or the abuser). Of course, we are responsible for the abuses, we may do ourselves. That, idea of "long memory", is a very important one.

3. At issue, is whether an abuse is chronic, or not. Chronic, is an off-again, on-again illness. Not your normal human disagreements. Abusers often fool, most people by acting on their best behavior; during short visits. Living with someone, shows this abuse to be on-going. Do not fail to admit your hurting, and say stop. This is very difficult, and it is a strength; not a weakness. If abuse continues, then get the hell out! Don't wait. You will regret that. Remember, violent abusers will be at their worst, for about the first three weeks; that you actually leave. Even if this is mostly verbal abuse(for example), you need to stay away, and have a plan to protect yourself, from attacks. you must ask yourself, what are you going to do; when it seems the whole world is against you, and you are all alone. Well, you are never alone, and there is ALWAYS hope; as long as you do not give up. Jesus is the one, and the only perfect, and true friend. The best we can do, is like Him.

4. This doesn't necessarily indicate, a person does not "love" you; meaning have no regrets, it often means they can't love well. That's not good folks. Why do you want that; accept for its what you are familiar with. Don't fall for the usual. The point here is, keeping abusers at arms length (like a parent) is not writing them off; as if you never knew them. You can't divorce you parents; however many have had to look at it, that way, I understand. This is not something you need to say, to the abuser so much (after you initially told them what's really wrong), this is something; that you have to do, and it is your decision, alone(with support). you need supporters; that follow good (the best) character.

Some children need to stop, and work with their parents; understanding their parents are slow, to the realities; about how fast children grow up. It's hard to stop leading a child. However, some children would be far better; being completely emancipated, at an extremely young age! That's our current reality. The world isn't right (yet).

I pray that we will drop our own, either or thinking, and realize; that almost all of these things are partly. You can not make them all, or nothing. You can not make things, that are your choice, not your choice. Only some (partly) things, aren't our choice.

Plus, your experience is not the same, exact situation; as others. There is not always a general, and not even, partly politically correct way; to deal with some people. You also have to accept; most people do not accept that. Do good anyway.

Look its your life, and no one say you can't die tonight. It's not just old age. Don't waste it. get to loving. Don't let abusers rob your time. Time is almost up.

Answer 6

Can understand where you are coming from (it can be the other way too, and I think it is better to have overly strict parents than ones that don't teach you about self-discipline and hard work etc). The other answers are right I think about your parents doing the best they can for you, and that maybe it would be worth talking to them. Maybe if you can understand that they are being like that probably out of their love for you, it might help you find a bit more patience for them. If you are just months from independence, maybe you are old enough to talk to them about the situation - that it is not making you think differently about your gf, but is making you hate home and wanting to get right away (which you don't want to feel like). Maybe you could agree to put more focus on your studies and less on your gf for this year, and they could cut you a bit of slack and trust you more etc. Maybe your gf is not their idea of a good gf for you (could be hard as they love you and it is beyond their control), or maybe it is about them worrying she is affecting your future by distracting you from study. Maybe showing them you can act more like an adult will get your folks to treat you that way - next year if you are at college and don't study, it will be your fault, but for this year, it is your parent's responsibility too. Good luck.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

I can see where you're coming from... but as many times as they've told you this and everyone else over 18 will tell you the same - THEY LOVE YOU. And you'll appreciate them when you are a few years older. You're probably tuning me out right about now, haha... but you will "get" your parents [actions] soon enough. Just let them know where you're going/times/places etc [they just care] - but also let them know that you're getting older and need to have your boundaries with them, broadened a bit. Everything seems unfair right now - but you'll be a better person from it in the end.

Answer 9

It's really hard when you're 17 and know more about life than your parents. Trust me on this , as you mature you will see how much smarter they become. One day you will set standards for your own children that parents instilled in you.
Follow the rules more closely and I'll bet you'll see how much more they'll trust your judgement.
You might even miss them while you're away at college.

Answer 10

bypass to the police station what they are doing is infant abuse and should not be allowed. you reside in the States I presume.if so the police could desire to take instant action. i'm laid low with melancholy and that i do have mothers and fathers that help me notwithstanding i'm keen to help please take my suggestion as you're saying you're depress and issues like this could bring about suicide you're so stated as mothers and fathers do not deserve you. playstation : i be attentive to what you propose by utilising twitch as I actually have a head twitch and a twitch that Mozart had in case you may prefer to help i could have no issue in speaking with you by using fact the final component to have is somebody to communicate too. So don't be afraid to characteristic me I won't chew and that i'm a teenager too of nineteen.