Well me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year or more. We just begun having sex, its are third time. I have not come close to giving her a orgasm? She swears it feels good but the reason for her not coming is due to pain. It feels better every time we have sex (says her). It is making me worry though because she has not had a orgasm in more then 5 months? That was by fingering her ( it was her first orgasm by any one), I can't even give her one by fingering her? I feel like i am failing her and it makes me not want to do any thing sexual because i love her and i am not doing a good enough job. She wants one i know she does, she tell me all the time its not the importent thing to her but it really is for me!
What can i do, what are some good ideas to make her have the "time of her life"?
Also should i get jealous if she likes to masturbate, she does not but she did once in front of me and i got really turned off because i thought she was doing a better job then me or some ..?
2007-10-26 17:15:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
About the jealousy, i am not sure what to do?
Like i know i should not because she need to learn her body or what ever but i makes me think some time that i can't do a good enough job she she has to do it on her own?
womens advice on this
Or
just some good mature advice...
I just don't know what to do because this is always on my mind. She is always on my mind
2007-10-26 17:17:58 · update #1
I wouldn't sweat it at all. Sadly, I've heard/read that as many as 40-50% of women have difficulty having an orgasm, and a percentage of them cant have them at all. A truly scary statistic for me when I first hopped into bed with my now wife. Luckily, I was blessed with a girl that comes not only once, but multiple times with ease, so that put my mind at rest rather quickly.
As noted above, I would watch what she does when she does masturbate. As for being jealous, that is ridiculous. I would kill to have my wife do that in front of me. Granted, she likes me in her more than her doing it herself, but the sight of her doing it once in a while is surely missed!!! You can learn a thing or two by close attention, and maybe even asking a question or two (be sure not to ruin the moment though by asking at the wrong time!)
Definitely stress the clit though...though nothing to firm or fast too soon. Oral seems to do wonders if you're good at it (don't see how you couldnt be but I've heard its possible), and a gentle carress that leads to more heavy petting does great as well.
Mind you that women are more emotional in bed than men, who are primarily physical about sex. Attention to parts of the body with no sexual purpose at all, like the ears, neck, arms, and legs, and even the stomach can lead to sudden and fierce arrousal. Every girl will be different so you're going to have to put in the time.
Lastly, you've just started having sex with this girl really, so you'll get better at it with time with her. What might work for one girl might totally turn off another. So, experiment. I had one platonic friend who told me she couldn't get off without anal intercourse...DEFINITELY not the norm (too bad eh). So, ask her and go from there. If she can get herself off, she can surely guide you to do the same...
2007-10-26 17:34:54 · answer #1 · answered by QuestionsIndeed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to RELAX! You will never give her one if you're stressed about it/ Many women don't ever have orgasms, so you may not necessarily be doing anything wrong. In time as you guys get used to each other's bodies and having intercourse she will get more comfortable (so will you). As she gets more comfortable she will be better able to have an orgasm. Instead of getting jealous when she masturbates you should watch what she's doing. She knows her body better than anyone else and if anyone knows how to get her to climax she would know so study what she does because there might be a clue in there for you. In the end you cannot internalize her lack of having an orgasm and feel you are messing up.
2007-10-26 17:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by cmack45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't stress the orgasm thing. it's ALOT easier for men to have an orgasm then women. plus, you two haven't been doing it enough to really learn what works. don't get jealous about her masturbating because you have no right to her body, just what she lets you do.
try focusing on her and as much clitoral contact as possible. men think that women get orgasms by poking it deep inside when it's really the clitorus that matters. don't get frustrated!
2007-10-26 17:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by crimsonsky_bleedingheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH WOW! you guys are extremely young, aren't you??
Sweetie, the thing you need to understand about girls, is that they have to get to know their bodies better in order for them to achieve orgasms. We are not built the way you are. our bodies are more complex....
If she doesn't masturbate... she won't be able to know what makes her feel good... hence; she won't know how to show YOU how. I'm sure you masturbate all the time! My advise is, stop thinking with your ego! It's not about YOU when it comes to HER orgasm. If you really want to please her... you'll spend the time it take to explore how her body works, and stop thinking about whether your living up to some stud code!!!
2007-10-26 17:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Koren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true. IT can take some time before she feels pleasure instead of pain.. don't worry it will happen. don't get jealous of her masturbation... If you really want to please her, take the time to let her show you.... Let her masturbate and watch what she does. You can't read her mind and everyone is different. You two have to communicate to have great sex. Watch, listen and talk!!!
2007-10-26 17:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a high percentage of women who cannot have an orgasm by actual intercourse.
try rubbing her clitoris while having sex, or giving her oral before actually having sex. some women can only have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
when you guys are actually having intercourse, she is probably more focused on being close to you than having an orgasm, and she is probably enjoying it just as much as you are!
2007-10-26 17:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one girls dont organsm as easy as guys, Lets just say it takes a great deal for a woman to give an orgasm. So i wouldnt worry about that, As for her masturbating i wouldnt worry about it, Im sure you like to masturbate too ......
2007-10-26 17:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by Jav 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be jealous --- watch and see what she likes --- spend more time before bed and in bed making her feel good --- words actions find out what pleases her --- forget making you feel good and make her feel FABULOUS ----- you will get much more pleasure this way ---- best wishes
2007-10-26 17:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not worry
2007-10-26 17:24:22 · answer #9 · answered by Obama's GF's BF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋