why is it okay to call someone skinny but not call them fat?

Question

i've been skinny my whole life. i eat well and im never sick.

at work the other day someone said omg ur so skinny what's wrong with u? so i said omg ur so fat whats wrong with u and they started crying and i got in trouble.

i believe in fairness and i don't believe i was out of line since they asked a dumb question first.

do people think its okay so accuse a skinny person of having medical issues and not accuse a fat person of having medical issues? is being obese healthy compared to being slim?

Answer 1

YOU'RE RIGHT

They're wrong lol

I'm serious though... while two wrongs don't make a right, that's not what happened here. It was one wrong (a**hole coworker) and one neutral (you). You balanced the equation, in a sense. That's my opinion, anyway...

AND you were entertaining at the same time, which the other person was not!

Answering the actual question, I would say that it isn't okay to call someone skinny or fat, except in certain contexts. If someone were saying "oh I wish I were as skinny as you" then the word 'skinny' is just meaning 'not fat'. In the context that your coworker used it, however, it was more 'anorexic'-like, which is just as rude as calling someone 'lardass'. It's neither healthy to be overweight nor underweight.

You didn't ask for advice, I know, but just FYI you have the right to file a complaint against both your coworker and your higher-up, and if need be, the company that hired them as well. If they reprimanded you, then unless they weren't aware of your coworker's comment about your weight, they should also have reprimanded him/her.

By reprimanding you and not him/her, what they're basically saying is it's okay when they do it but not when you do. They have to either reprimand both, or neither, otherwise it's harassment. They can't do one or the other. Contact your union (if you have one), whoever is above the manager who reprimanded you, the company you work for, and the US Department of Labor. Seem like too much? Think about this: if you have a written censure or warning in your file, it will be there forever. Future employers will see it, and it will tell them that you harass coworkers. If you take some kind of action against it (and the sooner, the more valid), it could be removed from your file altogether.

For me, I had a not-so-similar situation once and all I had to do was tell my manager I wanted it removed from my file, and she did it. She figured out that I knew it wasn't legal, and rather than let me file a complaint she just took it back, essentially. (In my case I got a write-up on my first day at work for doing something one of my other managers told me to do. It stayed in my file for all of 24 hours.)

Anyway good luck

Answer 2

Both comments were rude. To imply that something is wrong with a person lacks tact, and if anything, should be asked with concern, not an air of condemnation. However, in this society, being thin is seen as something to aspire to and be proud of. Being fat is quite the opposite. It's seen as unattractive at best.

While the other person's question was worded most rudely, she/he was still saying you were something (thin) that society deems admirable. Your retort, on the other hand, was just as rude, and it ALSO called her something that is an insult. It's like someone saying, "Hey, you're so smart..., what's wrong with you?" and the other person saying, "You're so dumb..., what's wrong with you?" Though the "wrong with you" part is offensive in both, the "smartie" can feel a bit better than the "dummy." Being smart, after all, is admirable. Being dumb is not.

I am hoping by asking about this, you aren't seriously doubting your culpability in this breech of etiquette on both you and this other person's part. Indeed the other person started it by asking you first, but this is where you could have been the "better man," and said something like, "Why thank you. I try to eat well, and apparently it works," and shrugged the rest off. If the person had meant to be spiteful, you just deflected him/her utterly, and if they'd meant to be concerned, you just put their worries to rest. If you wanted to illustrate your offense with the "wrong with you part," you could even have added, "There is NOTHING wrong me, thank you," in that cold, professional way that is very pointed.

I hope you can keep this in mind next time something like this surfaces, as I can assure you, this won't be the last time someone says something offensive--and next time YOUR response may have more dire consequences.

Being able to deflect another one's rudeness withOUT being rude back (that does not mean being sticky sweet, mind you, but simply having tact, being beyond reproach), is a dying art. Instead, we just have people more and more trying to bounce the hurt back--if not outdo it tenfold. "Two wrongs don't make a right." It just makes two ...not very nice people.

Answer 3

nicely easily that is not ok to call ppl the two; they might the two harm ppl's thoughts... some ppl call me skinny too and it gets to me...smtms it hurts my thoughts...i'm 5"2, approximately 107lbs and that i assume ppl think of its a compliment to me or smtg? yet you comprehend something, to close ppl up you gotta be advantageous and be YOU; i stumble on it so cool that ur into paintings and song, n conserving up with the L8est mod: skinny denims and tees are wonderful so do not provide a care if ppl don't like it....likely they're great jealous that ur into cool stuff. So besides to respond to ur question...its not ok to call ppl skinny or fat...it may rather ruin somebody.

Answer 4

omg lol that gave me a hella good laugh but yeah i see where you're coming from you where just defending yourself from some moron coworker

you really shouldn't have gotten into trouble but i guess the boss at your job probably feels like fatter people are more sensitive because they are unable to lose the weight or some other bs like that

and being obese is not healthy..... in any way

Answer 5

it's socially acceptable and applauded to be thin. not so much fat. so when someone points out that you're skinny, even if it's rude like this person did, you're supposed to take it as a compliment. when you retaliate with the same thing, you're telling them they're socially unacceptable.
it was not right for you to get in trouble. she shouldn't have been rude to you like that; you were just throwing it back in her face.
if you're healthy and thin, good for you. if someone is healthy and fat, good for them. unhealthy either way not so great.

Answer 6

lol thats great. i guess u werent outa line. people will do this because they want to be thin, aand then you call them fat lol