Has feminism changed your perspectives and approach to 'love'?

Question

Or has feminism had any sort of influence on your views of such and the way you love in relationships?

I appreciate the honesty in your answers, thank you very much - to all whom have replied so far.

Lioness: Again, you and I seem to be on the same page, in most matters.
I don't associate myself with isms, as you know, but take what it good or appropriate for me from everything and apply it to my life if I deem it beneficial to my personal growth as an individual first, and as a woman second.

My perspectives on and approach to love have been shaped by a combination of personal experience, information and observation of human nature and our surrounding nature in general.
Feminism has not changed or influenced my views of love, but even then, I find there is always room for learning more about love and human exchange. :-)

Sumar, it's unfortunate (yet a learning experience) that you had to be part of a class in which a teacher belittled and generalised men, but it isn't any different from people who generalise about feminists either.
I'm not one, but know some which are open-minded, respectful of men, and even when disagreeing, tolerant of different views.

Answer 1

I own my sensuality and sexuality. I'm comfortable in the skin of being a woman, when I used to hate being a woman. I know I have the freedom to shape my relationships according to what I want, not what society or cultures expect. I have the freedom to keep the gender roles I believe in and reject the ones I don't. I guess I could try to throw the better body image and physical confidence in there too, but I'm afraid the exes get all the credit for that! LOL

To sum it up, I feel more free to choose without guilt---well, except the times I get on here and some feminists start trippin' me out LOL

What about you?

Answer 2

I wouldn't say it's feminism exactly that has changed my perspectives about love. It was a bad marriage that changed my perspective, coupled with deep introspection about why the marriage failed and why I was so deeply unhappy with it. I made the effort (a tremendous effort) to learn from my mistakes, and figure out who I am, and what I want, and what I don't want, and what I need (and don't need). I suppose that yes, the idea crossed my mind that I deserved to be treated better than how I had been treated. I settled for so long with someone who treated me badly, who abused me, and when I finally came to the realization that I didn't have to stay trapped in that situation it was very liberating. But I won't lie, it's been a struggle to heal from things in my past. But at least I know now what love is, and what love isn't. And I am happier being on my own. If there comes a day when I meet someone who I'm compatible with in the ways that are important to me, I'll be willing to open myself up to the possibility of love. Until then, I'm working on my relationship with "me." It's not a selfish thing. It's something I should have done before I ever got married. Now I'm taking the time I have on my own to become a more self-actualized person.

Answer 3

I have three sisters and no brothers, a daughter and no son. I guess I am a "feminist man" It change my perspective on love by making me realize that "she" may have opinions as strong as I do and she will be right 1/2 the time at least. That it takes other men to help stop the objectification and abuse of woman. And lastly that feminism doesn't affect social graces, you can still open a car door for the woman you love and buy her flowers.

Answer 4

Not really no. I found that feminism/ists pretty much tune(s) that emotion out.

I live and love by one rule:
"Do what you want as long as you arent hurting anyone"

And this rule has nothing to do with feminism. I took a class in university, and everyone there is totaly sexist. The teacher kept talking about how men poison the world, and how they are imperfect (y chromosome) and every chick in the class just kept nodding.
Saw something similar in a nazi documentary.

Answer 5

It gives me more reasons to feel guilty, self-conscious, and ashamed about my feelings and desires and whether I deserve love.

EDIT

I should note that I was raised around strong, smart, educated women who demanded respect and got it, so I didn't NEED feminism to teach me that women were my equals and should be treated as such. If it weren't for that, I would have mentioned more positives of feminism, but in my life the effects have been largely negative, because I already accepted equality as just "common sense."

Answer 6

Its had an effect alright.

"Proceed with extreme caution" simplest way to say it.
Deep concern about the individual that claims affiliation to it.

Im not going to justify my reasons, or my more to the point my emotions for this. Experience has its own justifications.
I have writ something of this one or two of my previous answers, where something hit me the wrong way. Im not going to bang on about it. Theres no point.

Lets put it this way the first signs of misandry and I walk. So far only two people here I can honestly say havent shown signs of it and refer to themselves with the word feminism. There are only two here I would consider worth seeing of friendship with any meaning to that -forgetting anything further. I refer to here on YA, due to the ability of others here to see for themselves.Only two so far. One other that might be possible.

Judge as you will, so will I.

Answer 7

My wife took a women's studies course in college while we were just dating & was outraged at how sexist against men her teacher was. The overall tone of the everyday "lessons" made her want to drop the class.

The fact that my wife was this level-headed & concerned about men made me love her more, I think.

If she hadn't rejected the sexism & victimhood, it may have impacted our relationship in a very negative way. She may have become subconsciously angry at me or started to think every one of my actions was an attempt to control her as her class suggested.

It may have ended the relationship... who knows?

So feminism helped me appreciate my wife even more. (I still don't forgive feminists for the assault on my gender, the family institution, and society, but they hooked me up this once.)

Answer 8

I think Jason P is right. You need to tune out the radical end of it that blames men for everything -- the real feminism that seeks equality, that's very healthy. I think Jason is correct: it makes you more respectful of women. So I ain't ridiculing you, Jason. You've got balls to say that.

Answer 9

No. I mean I still want a man that is willing to take care of home, I mean, I still will work, but I want someone who will help me, you know what I am saying! I want a loving and intelligent man! And I don't think that I am asking too much and I won't settle. I want a partnership!

Answer 10

Truthfully? It's made me a better man, more respectful of women. I didn't study it in college but I've learned about it through the Internet. It's opened my eyes to the fact that women have concerns that I don't have and that I ought to have more empathy. I don't care for the radical fringe element that wants nothing to do with men, but real feminism has made me a better person (and I don't care if the trolls ridicule that answer because it's true).