I left an 11 yr relationship that went bad. I've been celibate for 1 1/2 year,and am dating again. I am afraid to have sex. What can I do?
2007-10-26 15:38:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wait until you find someone you want to have sex with; don't try to force yourself to do anything. Once you meet the right person; you'll feel like it. Trust me.
2007-10-26 15:42:35 · answer #1 · answered by someone1243 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my 80 year old neighbor is still a virgin, never married, never had kids. She wishes she had kids, she doesnt care to marry or have sex.
I also have another friend how had a bad marriage, divorced him over 30 years ago. Right after the divorce she was raped very violently. Ever since then she refuses to have sex, that was almost 30 years ago. She tells me she loves sex but since the rape now it hurts down there.
I think only a year and a half without sex is not long at all. Alot of people are afraid the first time with someone new. Let the person know you are afraid and you need to take it slow. If the person cares for you they may enjoy starting out real slow, its more exciting.
2007-10-26 15:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by Buff Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should weigh the temptations of sex in comparison to whatever reasons you chose to be celibate for. a year and a half is a moderately long time to go without, so you must have really meant it. but, things change and the reasons for celibacy may not work for your current life affairs.
well, if you really want to do it, i think you might try explaining this problem with your partner. guys are usually really considerate about these types of things. let's face it. they'd do just about anything just to see naked women--just imagine what the temptations of actual intercourse can make him do!
2007-10-26 15:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by Dr.Know-it-All 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear of your experience. Just take your time and don't be in a hurry. The right guy will take things slow with you until you feel comfortable. If a guy gets too pushy for you then all he is after is sex and is not worth wasting your time with. You will know when the time and guy is right. Good Luck~
2007-10-26 15:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my case (5yr) then(18months) it wasn't the sex I feared. It was the heart committing intimacy it represented. Over my yrs. of commitment I had come to associate sex with that deeply intimate love which then stomped me into a physical,mental, emotional wreck. I was afraid of a repeat performance. Thanks for helping me look at that piece of me more clearly,sorry I don't have your answer.
2007-10-26 15:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by canadaguy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FEAR NOT, Tammy-saan.
(Granted, I am not sure of, nor is it pertinent to know your reasons for leaving this previous relationship.)
Nor is it any of my business your reasons to fear (as you say) "having sex."
MY SUGGESTIONS are to simply view your, or any current or upcoming "Physical relationships" as FRESH BEGINNINGS.
%Wash away ANY previously embedded feelings from your previous relationships and make every conscious effort to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.
Enough application of this "LIVING IN THE MOMENT" will help you and yours do exactly that.
*GOOD LUCK!* :-)
2007-10-26 15:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the time comes, just have a couple of glasses of wine and make sure your partner understands how your feeling and that they really take their time. I'm sure after that you will feel more comfortable about it, it's just getting over that fear.
2007-10-26 15:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by Perkymo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
find a guy/girl you really like and when you are in a serious relationship..and then do it
2007-10-26 15:41:45 · answer #8 · answered by =0 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to buy a vibrator. Or masterbate manually, and then find someone who cares about you. that worked for me. ;-)
2007-10-26 15:44:15 · answer #9 · answered by savethecows52 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing, you will when you are ready or not. Don't let anyone rush you.
2007-10-26 15:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by That one 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋