and i'm about to have a baby. I can honestly say that this is a hard lesson to learn, my ex boyfriend is a "different" type of guy. His family is insane and i really don't want my child growing in that kind of life style with drugs so on so on. i do want him apart of this and i am froma very conservative family.. i had straight a's, showed horses my whole life, cheered, and then i foud this bad boy and thought i was in love! got pregnant and well basically made MY life harder, but see i don't want to make my kids life hard. i don't want her to have to go through things because of MY mistake, i moving to his town saved up money and i will finish my education, on my part i will find a way to make it work, so heres the promblem.. my ex is 20 now dating a 15 year old, so????? am i just suspose to truat him and a 15 year old with my kid!!! oh my but i want to make this work, i'm very protective, how can i go about making this work? thanks =]
2007-10-26 15:30:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Sounds like he likes them young and no baby that you have is going to change him.
If you want to make it work you can but that does not mean you have to have him there with you.
Just collect child support from him and go on with your life.
2007-10-26 15:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Congratulations on you baby! It will be difficult but you have demonstrated you are willing to do what ever it takes to take care of you baby and yourself. That is a wonderful attitude and will help you and your baby survive anything that comes your way.
The dad is not a fit parent in any way, shape or form. You're young and it happens you fell for the wrong guy. Don't make the same mistake twice...just because he is the biological dad does not mean he IS A FATHER.
It may sound harsh but your baby deserves better then a boy pretending to be a man. You should stay with your family, accept any support they offer and find your own way. Don't give your baby his fathers name till his father wants to claim him....and make his biological dad work for he's son. If he ever decides he wants to be part of his baby's life. The last thing you want is for your baby to be heartbroken and wondering why his daddy doesn't show up to pick him up on his days...doesn't call, doesn't love him back.
Keep placing all your energy into being a good mother like you all ready are and on preparing yourself with a good education so that your child and you can be better prepared for all the challenges life will throw your way.
One day you may give your baby father....just remember.
Father is not the one who conceives but the one that raises that child with love.
2007-10-26 19:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by Xena77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it sounds like we went through the same thing. I am 20 and 5 months pregnant. I fell in love with a bad boy and thats when my life seemed to fall apart. Before I met him, I have a full time steady job that I loved. And I have money saved up. When I met him, I blew all my money on a motorcycle because he wanted one. I also quit my job so that I could spend time with him. I thought that he was going to take care of me. He is also into drugs and all of his friends are into the same thing. I have never done drugs but I have always been around it. I went from having every thing to having nothing it seemed. He tells me that he wants to be there and be a father to the baby. But I dont want my baby growing up in that kind of enviroment. I told him that if he wants to be a part of this then he has to stop smoking. And lately I have noticed a good change in him. You just have to talk to your ex and tell him that if he wants to be a father then he has to make some changes. My family is also very conservative. But its your life and you are carrying an amazing gift. Your lucky. Good luck
2007-10-26 15:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by angel66866 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor and do not put his name on the birth certificate because he will have to go through a long process of seeing the child if you do this and it may be a good thing for now since he will probably be heading off to jail for having sex with a minor.
You are gonna be a good mom I can tell.
God bless and do not leave the baby with anyone that you do not trust 100% .
2007-10-26 15:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is on drugs you can turn him in. He will probabley get jail time for a while. You can take him to court and say that he is unfit to take care of your baby you will have to prove it. If that doesn;t work then go to court and try to get supervised visitation. If he is on drugs he is not capable of taking care of a baby you need to do all you can to protect your baby. As for the fifteen year old I wouldn't trust my baby around her either. If you want him to see the baby and he wants to see it and all else fails then make him come to your house and visit with the baby. Good luck I hope this helps
2007-10-26 15:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is more of a bigger issue then should you let this child girl friend be around. It is wrong what he is doing wrong!!! and needs to be stopped. He needs to spend a little time behind bars. I say Do not move down there. stay near your family and he can come down and see the child if he is not behind bars. yes a child needs to know there dad but do you want this man who is with another child a young teenager around your baby? No! Think about your child first....then about the daddy. do not move down there stay where your from.
2007-10-26 15:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is doing something illegal that he can go to jail for- for many years. He is an unfit parent on every level.
She has a right to a father, but she has a right to be protected and to be innocent for as long as possible.
Get a court order for full custody and child support, and at the most set up for supervised visitation.
You are right, this is not something to mess around with. That baby, and you, are priceless, and there are plenty of good men who would love you both more than life itself. Go find that man, dont ruin your life and hers waiting for this nut case to come around.
2007-10-26 15:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Try and stay with your parents or atleast in the same town. Don't move to his town. You'll be making it too easy for your druggie boyfriend and misfit parents to have the baby for overnight stays. Keep close to you family ! Don't move away from them.
2007-10-26 15:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by Corina 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't have said it better than the first answer by amosunknown... and don't move to his town, stay close to your family... "Any man can be a father but it takes a true and honest man to be a dad" God Bless...
2007-10-26 18:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally i would just leave him alone. raise your daughter the best you can.
2007-10-26 15:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by Noodle 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋