How psychologically scarring is it, generally, to dress a male child in feminine clothing for Halloween?

Question

For instance, exactly how many mental wounds would I inflict if I were to put a Snow White costume onto my 2 year old son and then take him to a children's Halloween party?

Would he be unable to function later in life if he found out? Would he hate himself? Would he suffer from severe gender confusion?

Because that's what a TON of people are telling me. Personally I think they're off their rockers... just trying to get a few more perspectives.

Why are there folks going on and on about homosexuality? Gender identity isn't the same as sexual orientation. One would assume that users in the PSYCHOLOGY section would know at least that much.

Wow... someone actually compared the "level of inappropriateness" involved in putting a dress on a boy to the "level" involved in putting a Hitler costume on a boy. Some people here are waaaaaaay too concerned about gender conformity...

Ike, I didn't say anything about forcing the child, did I?

Answer 1

(edited) Why would you want to encourage your child to do something that he could possibly regret or be embarrassed about later in life? Children are too naive and impressionable to make an educated decision about things like that which could have negative consequences later in life.

If you are gay, be gay. But let your child decide his own preference. Encouraging either preference could eventually backfire on you.

You are Zero Cool.
And you are Vile... just Vile!
***don't kick the baby!***

Answer 2

From a Psychological perspective, Dressing him in a Snow White outfit at the age of two would be harmless.

The child will not remember it at all, but will see the photographs later in life. It would be best to show the photographs to the child periodically, so it won't be a shock if he discovers it, at say 14-16 years of age... Then he would probably be a little angry at you, but it shouldn't be that big of a deal...

Most of these answerers are blowing this way out of proportion!!! It is no more than a 5 hour period in the child's life and it is a halloween costume... It will be cute and even if another child makes a comment about it, just remind them it is Halloween!

There would only be a problem is you countinuously dressed him as a female and treated him as such. He will not become gender confused or anything of that nature and it is ridiculous to make such an assupmtion.

Have a happy Halloween. And don't let Snow White eat too much candy ;-)

Answer 3

First not only would this cause a problem for your son, but for the children and adults around you. No adult would find this amusing. Which would generate problems for you if an adult were to make trouble, with an authority. Your family will not understand - so you'll have to deal with more adults.
The children will pick on your son, and be cruel because this is what children do. Yes, 2 year olds have no memory of this, but adults do, and when older all the stories and pictures will generate conversations you better have solid reasons for doing this. A boy is a boy until 18 then as an adult can be able to live as he/she needs.
I guess if you want data for a psycho paper for school this will do it, because people will talk.
But at 2 your son will just be curious at why he is dressed as mommy, instead of as usual. If he notices.
Just feels wrong, even in 2007, to do adult stuff to children they don't understand, could he be the Mummy, or Frank or Wolfie or a ghost? You know the classics? Or Bob the Builder?
I hope you all have fun of course.

Answer 4

Kitty's got the right idea.

Besides, ever read Ernest Hemingway's biography? I hear there's a picture of him at 2 in a dress and flower hat and his mother labeled it as her "little flower girl" or something to that effect. It was before the idea of breeching went out of style. Do you think Hemingway became un-manly becuase of it? Did all the other boys becuase they wore dresses until their breeching? Of course, there is the question of what his future friends would do if they found out. Little kids can be very cruel to each other about such things. That's not something that the unbreeched boys had to contend with. So will it cause emotional distress, probably, but not becuase of the magical energy of the dress when put on a boy but becuase of teasing that might occur later. Will it make him a transsexual or gay, no. He either is or he isn't already and nothing will change that. Will he hate himself? Probably more likely he'd blame you for any teasing he might get in the future over this.

Answer 5

Forget the "there is nothing wrong with it" theory. There is something wrong with it....but it's not so much with your son. It's YOU. Why would you want to dress him up as a princess? To the outside world (and possibly your son in the future) it would sound like you wish he was a female. I am not accusing you of this, it is just what it looks like to me.

And please don't throw this arguement on equal rights that we are too quick to point the finger on male roles vs female roles. That is a load of crap. A policeman (Or policewoman) can be of either sex, however a PINCESS IS A GIRL. A Prince is a BOY. Simple!

Think about what the others will think at the party...any person over 5 will laugh at him. Is that what you want?

When I was about 8 years old I remember going out at Holloween as a girl. It was funny, and today I am 100% straight, did it scare me? No, because it was my choice! HE IS 2, he has no say! All I know is that I have a 2 year old and I don't want a room full of people laughing and making fun of him....especially if it was MY DOING! Think lady!

I think you are looking for sock value and not thinking about should you actually do it. A boy dressed as a princess would be "cute" and "funny" to see but is it appropriate?

Dressing a 2 year old as Hitler would be see as "socking" "Cute" and "funny" if you will, but I think we can all agree it's very inappropriate!

Answer 6

Well, when I was six, I wanted to go as Robin from "Batman and Robin". My mother's friend made a Robin costume for me and I was going to wear it, but I didn't have Robin shoes, so I refused to wear it. I then went into our costume supplies box and found a witch costume, so I dressed as a witch. I went to the library for their Halloween party and no one knew who I was. Everyone thought I was a little girl. I went trick or treating in that costume also. I really didn't care much what people thought of me back then, so it didn't bother me.

I'm okay now; I didn't turn gay or get a sex change operation. An important thing to note though is that "I" chose to wear that costume; I was not forced to wear it or even persuaded to wear it.
I imagine your son will be okay in the future even if he finds out. There is a lot of leeway for what kids can do and get away with. If he were in highschool, then it would do damage, but there are many things I did as a child that I wouldn't be caught dead doing now. I imagine it is that way for everyone.

Answer 7

They're the ones off their rockers. I know I answered this earlier, but I remembered a few other things. My brother went as a half-man half-woman one year and he's not bisexual. He also dressed with three of his friends as the Supremes. Last year one boy came as Dog the Bounty Hunter and another boy was Beth. (It was hilarious) I dressed as a pirate when I was 6 and I'm not a lesbian. Actually, I went as guys a lot and I'm most certainly heterosexual. I don't see a problem with it. Those people are just really uptight. It's just a costume for an evening. Also, if that's what he wants to be, I say let him.

Answer 8

Dressing up the boy as a princess will not make him gay, or a serial killer, or depressed as he gets older. He may be embarrassed by it but who doesn't have any embarrassment from their childhood? If this was the other way around and a girl wanted to dress up in as a prince nobody would say anything. Is dressing up as a princess his idea or yours? It sounds like it is yours. My advice would just ask him what he wants or take him down the costume isle and let him pick a "boy" costume.

Answer 9

Off their rockers is right. Imagine someone telling a gladiator wearing that little leather number they wore, your gay because you wear a skirt! Or telling a Scots man he's gay because he wears a kilt! They'd have lost their teeth! I despair at what their kid's minds must be like. I despair to think what their own minds are like. People will only be mentally wounded by the idiots that spouts such nonsense. I, like you, would rather the kiddies were happy being what ever was/is natural to them than them struggling to be what they are not and being told by ignorent people they are flawed.

Answer 10

Probably better to do it now at 2 at Halloween then when he is 10 on Valentines Day :)

Probably not a big deal, but you might worry about what kind of reinforcement, more likely positive "oh you are so cute" that you as a mom and the other party goers might give him.

How dies he react to that level of attention and positive feedback on other issues at the age of 2?

To me it is not so much that it is a "girl outfit" as much as that as a parent, the decisions you make about what neurons in his brain to set now, make a difference in the rest of his life.

I tis not that he will remember it, or even be embarrassed later if reminded, it is that it is likely to be a very intense experience that will take place in a very young brain.

How do you manage other intense experiences for him? That is the parenting decision that should guide you.

Remember he is less then 1000 days old, so an intense one day experience is way more significant to his new brain then it will be to you or me as older fuddy-duddys with brains already set in our ways.

Don't believe me that one day of intense expereince can make a difference?

Review the literature of what happens to kids who are physically or sexually abused at your son's age when they grow up. Or listen to Loveline on the radio for a couple of nights.:(

Not saying what you propose is on that level, but think about it in the terms I raised and see if it is still something you want to do in your own parenting scheme.

This answer is what you get for posting on a psychology board :)

Answer 11

Ask those people if they'd have a problem with a girl being dressed as Mickey Mouse or Barney the Dinosaur. I'll bet they'd say that's absolutely fine.
I think it's bizarre how girls are allowed to be tomboys, wear boys clothes, play with boys toys etc, but a little boy can't dress up as a mythical Disney character because it happens to be a female one.
Society is somehow obsessed with forcing stereotypes of masculinity onto males, even as early as infancy.