I am 22 years old and I have been dating my bf for about a year already. I'm a senior in college and he's all done with school. For about 2 months he has been bringing up the whole marriage thing already. I love him so much and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but him. Everytime he brings it up I kind of get scared, so scared even I want to call it quits. He already knows when he is going to propose I guess I have cold feet about the whole situation. Is this normal?
2007-10-26 13:20:04 · 17 answers · asked by malibu22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Simple.. either you love him enough to commit to him forever.. or you don't!
If you love him and want to commit but are not ready for the i do's.. then maybe you two can talk about having a long engagement. this way you are moving forward but not running down the aisle!
2007-10-26 13:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by ♥cutemamma♥ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Of course it's normal. You've been living at home with your family growing up, then you've been a slave to books and the college curriculum, and now that there is the slight glimmer of the light at the end of the tunnel, (graduating after this year) you are thinking about life on your own, just for once. You want to know what it's like to establish being you, before you establish being a wife and possibly a mother. Nothing wrong with wanting to invest in 'you time', after all has been said and done. Explain that to your boyfriend, including the fact that you love him, and only him. He should understand that, if he really loves and understands you. There's no reason for him to be threatened by that. Tell him. Then you can stop freaking out. ;-)
2007-10-26 13:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by sustasue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't have cold feet. Its ok, everybody gets kind of freaked out when they are possibly going to get married. But it sounds like you really love him, but just think about if you are willing to spend the rest of your life living with him and being the best possible wife you can be. If you feel like you are ready for that kind of commitment, then when he proposes, then say a confident yes. But if you really arn't sure, then don't say yes right away. Tell him you need some time to think about it and that you'll give him your answer in a couple days or something. He sounds like a nice guy, so he'll understand.
2007-10-26 13:29:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ballin! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not convinced, do not go into a marriage. Again, marry only when you are comfortable.
At the same time, do not keep him hanging. You say he is done with school which means is probably pretty senior. He might have reasons to be concerned about his age as well. He might think that he is getting older.
Make up your mind, it is not only about you, but about both of you. If you are not going to marry him in the near future, DON'T KEEP HIM WAITING.
If I were you, I'd propose but if rejected, I'd find another girl. I could wait for a year, but not for 3 years.
And those who tell you that he is manipulative, are just talking nonsense.
2007-10-26 13:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not doing him any favors by leading him on. You need to be honest. Please tell him not to propose. It just isn't fair to put him through that kind of disappointment and embarrassment. He will feel betrayed. You are very wise and very lucky to know that you are not ready to rush into a marriage. There is no reason to rush it, that will only damage a great relationship. If you explain to your bf that he really is the love of your life and his feelings are reciprocated, he will not break into pieces. If marriage is your ultimate goal, tell him you are totally on the same page as far as the relationship goes, it's only the time line that you question. Don't take the ring just to compromise. This will complicate the issue, send mixed signals, and pile on unbelievable pressure. Life isn't a race. Best Wishes.
2007-10-26 13:35:40 · answer #5 · answered by meowmeowkitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not comfortable with the idea of marriage with him, or anybody else at that, don't do it. talk to him about it. If he loves you so much, he'd rather be with you even without marriage than be without. Think about it, you're only 22 and if you live to be 70, you'd have to spend 48 years with him, more than twice what you get to spend as you. That or divorce and/or remarriage somewhere along the line. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but only when you're fully prepared for it.
2007-10-26 13:27:58 · answer #6 · answered by dVine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1.) Your feelings should be let out. If he doesn't like that then hes not the guy if he is in love with the idea than your feelings.
2.) Your 22! Many people young and old have cold feet so its perfectly normal. ONce your ready, you should go ahaead.
2007-10-26 13:24:39 · answer #7 · answered by killerbird979 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes is very normal i mean im with my bf for almost 3 yrs im in college he is also we decided to marry when we're done of school and get a career but im not sure i also get cold feet i love him very much dnt worry if u think is too soon tell him ur not ready talk to him is the best just be done with school and wait until ur ready
2007-10-26 13:25:12 · answer #8 · answered by ViRY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is normal. But if he is the one you want to be with then you should go ahead and get engaged and stay that way for a while and see how that works out then start planning. Good Luck
2007-10-26 13:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg dont get married!! Ive been with the same person since I was 21 and I feel married even though Im not. I wish I would have experienced more of life and now I can never get those years back. Follow your intuition.
2007-10-26 13:25:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋