At the High School I attended, being Christian wasn't the cool thing. We believers had to endure great mocking and occasionally even physical abuse from the popular crowd. One of the very worst was a member of the football team. He would always make very crude jokes is classes and often singled me out for particular derision, even going so far as to tell people that I was gay for Christ. Worse, he also seduced a very nice Christian girl, causing her to be disowned by her family and eventually hospitalized for a mental breakdown.
Now fast forward 10 years. I am living in a nearby city, a respected member of my congregation and suddenly a few months ago that same football player from my high school has started attending my church. Of course he is playing the big reformed sinner role to the hilt. Every week he gets up to testify about how bad he was, but now he has found God. Everybody buys it and it is driving me crazy. How can I show people what he's really like?
2007-10-26 11:53:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Well do you know that he's lying? A lot of people are jerks in high school, but change as they get older and get some sense. Maybe he was mocking you in high school because he was jealous of what you had. And at some point he came to his senses and pursued God for himself. Apostle Paul was exactly the same way before he came to Christ, and he got Christians KILLED.
To be honest I think GOD put this guy in your church for you. Have you forgiven him? Have you acknowledged that he hurt you then declared that he doesn't owe you? Are you still mildly afraid of him? If so, maybe God put him hear to deliver YOU from what happened back then. I'd pray on that.
If he really is still a jerk, it will come out. Don't worry about that. But that is not relavent to you forgiving him.
2007-10-26 12:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by peacetimewarror 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Read Acts 8 and 9.
Imagine Stephen upon seeing Paul in heaven. The last time Stephen saw Paul he was called Saul and amusing himself by stoning Christians in general and Stephen in particular.
Stephen stares in horrified wonder. What is this? Is he hallucinating? Is God playing some sick joke?
But wait, Saul isn't acting like Saul any more. He has a peace now, and radiates kindness and love. What's with this thing?
Stephen edges closer. Just as he is getting up his courage to ask the guy his name, a newcomer comes up to him. Stephen is close enough he can't help hearing the conversation.
"Are you really Paul. The Paul. The one that used to be Saul of Taursus? Wow. I mean like wow. You are the actual Paul. Your book has helped me so much! More than any of the rest of scripture. . . I could just feel how you loved Jesus, even when they beat you and stoned you. And that snake thing. Isn't it wonderful what power God has?"
Stephen is completely shocked. What is going on here? Saul of Tarsus? Writing scripture? Loving Jesus?
When someone finally tells Stephen the story what do you think he will do? Will he pout? Question? or will God pour his Spirit out on Stephen so that he praises God one more sinner was saved for the kingdom?
Maybe right now you are Stephen. You have the same 3 choices.
Rejoicing:
Let's look at the last one first. Let's say that you decide to praise God for the change in this man. You pray for the willingness to forgive and the love to welcome him into the fold.
The worst thing that can happen is you are wrong. Football hero is just a phoney. Know what? If that is true, it will come out. He can't hide himself forever. You will have shown yourself to be the bigger man by demonstrating a genuine spirit of Christian love. While he will look like the looser he really is. The funny thing is that this won't give you joy because you really love him with love that can come only from God.
The best thing that can happen is that you will find a new brother in Christ and see God working to turn around the unloveable. You will grow in the ability to love, and in your walk with Christ.
Questioning
Yes, keep your eyes open. You don't want to get hurt again if this is just a game. However, remember that you question to get answers. Even if they aren't the answers you want. (In this case, the answer may be the dude is sincere).
The worst thing that can happen is you damage a babe in Christ and compromise your spiritual walk with bitterness.
The best that can happen is you will learn the truth.
Pouting
It's not fair for this guy to get all the attention and love from your church, when you have been a loyal Christian all of your life. What will happen if you dwell on that?
Consider the older brother of the Prodigal Son. His brother returned and he pouted. Was he happy? Did he please the Father? Did the little brother even seem to care how he felt?
The worst thing that can happen if you take this route is that it will make you unhappy, and hinder your spiritual growth while this guy becomes a bigger and bigger stumbling block to you. Meantime, you and he can both develop camps and split that church down the middle. And what do you think Jesus is feeling in all this if the guy is sincere?
The best thing that can happen is you become miserable without influencing everyone else.
My advice:
1) Either way, pray for the ability to forgive because there is real bitterness in your question.
2) Treat him like you would treat any other new Christian with love and acceptance.
3) Don't open yourself up too much until you can feel safe with him.
4) Know that if he is fake it will come out. Be patient and watch the show.
5) Don't do anything that will force other church members to choose sides. The faker he is the more his presentation will be better than yours.
6) Pray for him and for your church. You can't hate someone your regularily pray for.
2007-10-26 12:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by Truth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must say I sympathize with your pain from your past. Many of us Christians have had to endure such thing but they are great proof that we are working for Christ. You mentioned believing that he is "playing a role". Do you have any proof that he is a phony? Further, is it really your responsibility to expose him? I think trying to expose him which would really just be hurting him. If he IS a phony exposing him could probably be considered stooping to his level because people would think you're bitter even if you're not, so here is what I suggest...
Pray to God, then talk to the guy at your church. Your past experience with him was painful but through forgiveness, pain no longer lives in the heart. Talk to the guy. Tell him how you felt in high school. Maybe even ask him if he is truly reformed. It has been ten weeks. Maybe he testifies every week because of guilt. WHo knows? Remember we're all "reformed sinners". Pray for him nevertheless and allow God to do his work. Don't approach anyone in a condemning manner. Just pray to God for help to deal with the situation and I hope you consider my advice. Keep praising God.
DCamille
2007-10-26 23:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by Diedre C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said "Fellow Christians". Ummm, that's a no-brainer dude. You claim to be something you are not. Did you make up this whole story or is some small part of it true. What is the point? Calling yourself a respected member of a Christian congregation and yet you are totally ignorant of the teachings of Christ?!?!? Or perhaps you do know and yet seek to entertain yourself by deceiving others? You are the faker. Wake up!!!
2007-10-26 12:52:21 · answer #4 · answered by TheNewCreationist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think he has not changed. Before you came to Christ were there things you would do, but now you don't? I think that you should talk to him about how you still feel about the things he said and did. His response and actions will let you know whether he has changed or not.
Furthermore, you have to fogive him. It is clear that you have not. You know you have forgiven someone when you no longer resent them for what they did / said to you. It seems to me that you are still resentful. You should ask the Lord to heal your heart and feelings, AND to use you to be a light to this person so that if he is being hypocritical, you will be a witness to him with your life.
2007-10-26 12:17:03 · answer #5 · answered by Indya M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the word of God, He tells us that Love covers a multitude of sins, Love does not keep count of things done wrong, etc... Instead of questioning his motives for being in the church, you need to examine yourself to see if you are of the faith. Always remember that we were sinners before Christ redeemed us. We offended and hurt others just as he did to you back in the day. Just because God has saved and cleaned and still yet cleaning us up, without him we can still offend and hurt people with our words more than we ever did with our actions.
Pray for him, if God has shown you that he isn't sincere about what he is professing. Prayer is the best remedy for the situation. For while you are praying for him, God will weigh your heart and motives to ensure that they are pure and lineup with His word.
Also, make sure that it is God revealing to you and not that hurt little boy that has not forgotten nor forgiven the wrong that was done to him. Sometimes God will allow someone that has hurt us in the past to come back into our life to show us that there are some things that we still need healing and deliverance from. We think we are over it because time has gone on and we haven't seen that person, but God knows our heart. He knows when we are ready to deal with a situation that He has given us the strength and courage to confront.
Finally, always remember we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but spiritual wickedness in high places, etc...so don't see him, but allow God to show you how to discern the spirit that is operating out of him. I guarantee you if what you are seeing is of God, others in your church has discerned it also, God does not leave his people blind to the wiles of the enemy. If we get blindsided by anything, it is because we didn't seek God for wisdom and strategy to deal with the situation. God prepares his people for any trial that comes our way. It's up to us to study for the test before it comes so that we can pass it.
Just a few words to encourage you to stay true to God's word and not to allow your emotions to get you off focus. Your showing love to him inspite of his mistreatment of you in the past, may be the tool God uses to show him the true meaning of being a disciple of Christ. Everyone doesn't choose to walk in the spirit of love as Jesus did.
2007-10-26 17:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by LL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Atheism is the bane of introduction". ---- No, The devil that deceives the unbeliever with a self-serving, prideful coronary heart, is the reason in the back of sin in the midsection of guy. Atheists are deceived via the main suitable of all deceivers, they must be RESCUED, not demonized. # "whether it potential getting our palms grimy or a touch bloody". ------- you're patently the blind to which you communicate, except of coarse you delivers Scripture, that demonstrates the be conscious and strikes Of Jesus Christ.? (that's what Christian potential - Christ-like.) # "greater beneficial good". ---- greater beneficial good, is yet in a distinctive way asserting: Discriminate, Violate and Dictate. Please instruct Scripture that demonstrates Jesus in this place.?
2016-10-02 21:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by boddie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What evidence do you have that it's all a show?
I think the very best thing is to pray that God will be merciful and show you the truth, whatever it is.
2007-10-26 13:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by sparki777 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian.
Your attitude sucks.
He has freely admitted his wrongs and repented. who are you to judge him still? Can you see into his heart? Are you the one who gets to decide who goes to Heaven? Are you the one to cast the first stone?
I get that he hurt you in the past. a lot. You should invite him out to lunch and talk to him about it. tell him how he hurt you and your freinds. see what he has to say.
You dont get to decide who is worthy to love God. The fact that you think you can is so judgemental and wrong.
If you cant forgive the sins others have done to you, what makes you think God will forgive your sins? "forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us". come on now. This is basic Christianity.
Suck it up. Seek God. Pray for this man. speak to him. and Judge not, lest you be judged.
2007-10-26 12:04:15 · answer #9 · answered by apple1821 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Just as christ forgives us you must forgive him. It's not about you or him it's about Jesus Christ. and if you are a christian then you will walk up to him give him a handshake or hug and welcome him as if nothing ever happened. Because that's ( thankfully) how Jesus is with us, He welcomes us and says you're forgiven and remembers no more.
2007-10-26 12:03:47 · answer #10 · answered by island girl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋