Idea's for a family wedding, please?!?!?

Question

My fiancee and I both have children (1 boy and 1 girl between us) and we want to include them in the wedding. They already have positions as flower girl and best man (?), but we want to do something to bring us together as a family.

Answer 1

You and your fiance can read vows to the children during the ceremony.

Answer 2

You don't say the ages of the kids. I must ask because the best man is one of your witnesses along with the maid/matron of honor and you must be legal age to sign the documents. I have been to several weddings where people have children and mid-way through the ceremony the kids go up to a little table and do the candle lighting/unification ceremony. His kids light one candle, her kids light the other, then the kids pass their lit candles to their parents who together light the centre family candle. I also attended a very lovely ceremony where the pastor asked the children if they would take the man/woman as their new step-mopm/step-dad into their hearts. When the kids answered "We will", the parents presented the child with a ring/locket as a sign of their new family status. Very nice.

Answer 3

Hi and congratulations!

That is a very nice thought. I don't have time to look up links, but if you use Google and type in "wedding vows involving children" or something like that, I'm sure you will find ideas.

I have heard of people, like you, not only including the children as flower girls, etc., but also having their names mentioned during the ceremony and during the vows. I have also seen where something meaningful....like a locket for your little girl, ??? for the boy, is given to them DURING the ceremony....incorporating all of you now as a family!

Good luck!

Answer 4

I love it where the couple presents the children with a small piece of jewelry (usually a necklace) after they've exchanged rings. I'm sure your officiant can work it into the ceremony, and probably has done it before. Every time I've seen it done, it's been something like "Just as Mark and Sue have exchanged rings as a symbol of their love and fidelity, they would like to present thier children with gifts as a symbol of their new family, and the committment they're all making to be a new family together."

Answer 5

My mother and step dad gave me a special ring when they were exchanging the rings at the cermony. i had no idea so i was very surpised and excited. Also i was involved in helping to light the candle as well as helped cut the cake. Right after they kissed as the new mr and mrs, i was called over and we all hugged and kissed, it became our favorite wedding picture. At the party i danced a special dance with my mom and 1/2 way through my step dad cut in. It was sweet and we had almost everyone crying at that point.They even took me on their honeymood..well no not like that... =)
they went into the city for the weekend of the wedding then we all went to disney as the "family honeymood"

Def. talk to the person that is marring you both and let him know that you want to make your kids a part of this special day.

I do hope that helps. good luck and congrads.

Answer 6

i'm not sure what other thing will SYMBOLICALLY bring you together as a family. i capitalize symbolically, because i don't want either you or your fiance to assume that a mixed family will be easy sailing just because everyone participates in the ceremony. hopefully, you are all seeing a family counselor for some pre-marital counseling to ensure the children feel they have somewhere to air their feelings on the upcoming nuptials and any concerns. they may be hesitant to express these directly to you, because they see that you are very excited. do more to make sure you are actually a family, not just symbolically for the wedding. i find that this is one of the biggest reasons that blended families don't work. parents expect children to automatically feel the love for their step-siblings that the parents feel for each other. it's not that easy. and, since you have a boy and a girl involved, don't expect them to only view each other as siblings. you should be wary of any issues when either hits puberty or gets hormonal.

Answer 7

Unless both of your ex spouses are deceased I don't think it's appropriate. Your children have a father and his have a mother. The wedding is about the two of you and it's kind of weird when people include the children in any way other than the flower girl or ring bearer.

Answer 8

I have a friend who married a lady with 3 VERY beautiful little girls. He calls their mom and the girls his "lucky charms". So during the ceremony he gave his new wife and new daughters shamrocks. He has adopted all 3 of the girls. Since the wedding she has given birth to twins (boy and girl). So NOW their whole family is complete. Good luck.

Answer 9

Sand ceremony.

And maybe at the reception you cut a "family cake" with all four of you instead of just you two and the wedding cake. You can still have the wedding cake just instead of cutting the bottom layer bring out a small decorated cake the kids can help slice.

Answer 10

well if he has a boy than he can give your daughter a ring during the ring exchang and say something like i talk you to be my daughter to love you as my own etc etc. and you could do the same with his son, on the other hand if you have a son and he has a daughter than i'm not so sure how that would work, you could maybe give vows to them just with out the rings like you could give the daughter a special necklace and he could give the son a necklace also (like a cross necklace or something they can always keep).
i would also talk to your pastor he might have a few ideas for such event. hope this helps and congrats :)

Answer 11

I like the sand ceremony, each person has a different color of sand and they all pour into one large vase so the colors mix together. I like the idea of giving the children jewelry and cutting a family cake also.