Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Never lick a steak knife.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
2007-10-26 09:57:31 · 7 answers · asked by life goes on... 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
Your friends love you anyway.
Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
2007-10-26 09:57:41 · update #1
Most hilarious;
I have licked a steak knife though,
but it takes a lot of practice to not get sliced.
(& very little tongue pressure also)
cheers
2007-10-26 10:09:48 · answer #1 · answered by Now I'm Outta Here 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-10-26 17:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love the line about the ark and the titanic
STAR
2007-10-26 17:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by David L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is brilliant. Thank you. A star for you.
2007-10-26 17:20:11 · answer #4 · answered by Black 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah yes...
so very true...
but sadly we learn from our mistakes. T.T
2007-10-26 17:11:14 · answer #5 · answered by Kellie K. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BIG fat shiny star for you, merely for the pregnant woman one :D
Really made me howl. Thanks!
2007-10-26 17:06:35 · answer #6 · answered by fat_spoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny, thanks for posting.
2007-10-26 19:52:30 · answer #7 · answered by Widgi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋