I don't think I was a good example of Jesus last week. What do you think I could have done better?

Question

I was walking to the sporting goods shop after school last Friday to get myself the red Dwyane Wade jersey that I have always wanted. It's exactly $20. When I got to the plaza, a homeless man in his fifties approached me. He told me he hadn't eaten for 4 days and asked for money. I had a 20 dollar bill and 65 cents in one pocket.

I considered splitting the 20 and giving him maybe 3-4 dollars. But I wouldn't have $20 anymore. And the bank would never let me go in because I'm 13 and my parents weren't with me.

In the end, I just gave him 65 cents. I think I should have been more generous. I could easily wait a couple more days to buy that jersey.

I THINK he later saw me walk out of the store, so he knew I had more money than that. I felt really guilty. He and I also had a brief chat about Jesus, and he asked me to pray for him too. That makes me feel even worse because he knows I'm a Christian, but I didn't give my all for him the way Jesus would have. Was I too selfish?

Answer 1

The sad reality of homelessness is that we can never know for certain why these people are so unfortunate. There are some out there who have mental illnesses, some with drug and alcohol dependencies (which is where their money goes), some had some kind of experience that forced them onto the streets.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that by giving them money you just never know what it's going to be used for. I know I wouldn't feel very comfortable supporting someone's bad habit. Having said that, I don't think you were being selfish.
I'll tell you a quick story though:
I met a young girl (17yrs) at the local train station one morning. She smiled at me, I smiled back and she approached me asking for money. I told her I'm not in the habit of just giving people money because I have to work for what I earn to be able to live. She went on to explain to me that she's been a meth addict since she was 11yrs old and that she understood my reasons for being reluctant. I asked her when the last time she ate was and she told me 3 days so I offered to buy her breakfast, she gratefully accepted. So I took her to McDonalds and told her to get whatever she wanted - I realized after what I had said thinking that she'd order like it was going out of style but to my pleasant surprise she was very reasonable. When she had her food and I had paid we went back outside I asked her some questions about her addiction (it was a really sad story) and I just told her that she can overcome it all she needs is to believe in herself. She started to cry and reached out to me for a hug...

Moral of the story: it's possible to make a fundamental difference in someone's life without handing them over your money. A simple act of kindness is all they need.

Caution: Just be careful. Keep your personal safety in mind.

Answer 2

We all make mistakes that we feel guilty about. The best thing to do is to learn from your "mistake". I myself did something similar many years ago, and it has stayed with me for many years. Not all the time of course, but whenever I see a homeless person, it pops back into my mind. I learned from that though, and I NEVER ever pass over anyone like that anymore. You did ask the question though what do we think you could have done better! I really think you know the answer to that already and I also think that you will choose to not choose that again.
Everyone, and I mean every one, makes mistakes. Just learn from them and move on. If you can picture the mans face in your head, send him love in your mind, and please, forgive yourself if you feel guilty.
Added note:- Some will say, but he could have taken the money and bought alcohol or drugs. To those I would suggest that we should not judge, because we don't WHAT his circumstances would be. Always give with a willing heart or don't give at all.

2nd added note:-

Oh my, reading some of the answers made me cringe. How unloving, judgemental and angry some people seem. We cannot read anothers mind, we cannot say they deserved what they got, and we cannot see why they are in the position they are in. Please, everybody is unique and everyone has a different story to tell,but we don't know for sure what puts someone in the homeless situation. Compassion, love and a giving spirit would make this world a better place.

Answer 3

You can't feel guilty every time you could have done something more, or better, or whatever. At least you did something. Christ knows that we're not perfect. And He loves us anyway. His love increases exponentially when we do kind things. The fact that you dealt with the homeless guy respectfully was good. When you thought about giving him any money, that was great. And you didn't actually think about it, you actually GAVE him something. It may have only been 65 cents, but that's the wrong way to look at it. You helped out when most people wouldn't have.

Answer 4

You have to depend on the Holy Spirit in these situations. Many people who panhandle are often alcoholics, drug addicts or mentally ill (who usually use drugs or alcohol). 90% of the time, they will use the money for their habit.

Don't beat yourself up about this. Just stay in prayer. You have to depend on discernment for these cases. Now, if the Lord tells you to give to a homeless person, do as the Lord says and ask no questions. If you are not sure, do not give your money away - if they ask, just say, "I'm sorry, I can't today."

There is a difference between selfishness and wisdom. Of course we should not use alleged wisdom as an excuse to support our selfishness. This is why we need to lean on the Lord and allow Him to guide us and reveal our motives so that we may make the right choice.

As it is, that guy is likely used to people handing him a little and going on about their business. If he has any amount of sanity left, I would guess he understands that you have a right to shop for yourself. Don't worry about it. I have been around long enough to hear these "I haven't eaten since..." stories from street folk before. Actually, if he really did not eat for four days, he would not be able to ask you for money.

Wisdom. Discernment. Lean on the Holy Spirit.

Answer 5

This incident has passed, so let it go!! I can understand your guilty feelings, I have been in a similar position and didn't respond as I should have. Just ask Jesus to forgive you, and let it go. However learn from it, and I'm sure God will give you another opportunity to show Jesus' love for others by your actions.
Just by your worrying about it, shows that your heart is in the right place, your'e only 13!! how many other 13 year olds, would even be thinking the way you do
Jesus knows what's in your heart, and has used your missed chance to share, to teach you compassion so that you will be more aware next time.
God bless you....

Answer 6

You have a good heart but you are too young to realize that he probably wanted the money for beer, wine or whiskey. Many times when I was still a Christian i would give money to homeless people who claimed they had not eaten just to be discouraged when I saw them go into a liquor store and come out with a bottle. They will use your Faith to get hand outs.

Maybe he has not eaten for 4 days, but is it because he drank it up? That is usually what homeless people do.
BB

Answer 7

The fact that you are questioning yourself is good. Just remember this internal struggle the next time you are confronted with a similar situation.

For the record, never give homeless people money, and don't believe them when they say that they haven't eaten. There are missions where they can get hot meals, and they regularly dig food out of trash cans (not ideal, but it's survival). If you want to help feed them, offer to go buy them food... have a meal with them, and you'll have that extra time to talk with them about whatever you want to chat about (for example, Jesus).

Answer 8

I think its awesome you felt called to give this man money regardless of how much you did. I think alot of 13 year old boys wouldnt have though twice about it, no less feel guilt about it later! Guilt is not from God, so let it go and if you feel so inclined next time with either the same man or someone else, do what you feel guided to do. Youre experiencing the Holy Spirit working in you, this is a good thing! Gods peace :)

Answer 9

I think you were just taught an important lesson.
And you know the answer. You could have waited a few days for your shirt.
Don't feel bad we all make mistakes. But try to do better next time. We all need to help other people more.
Jesus told us that when someone asks we should give.
It is a bad idea to go anywhere alone with a homeless man.

Answer 10

No, you earned your money, do with it what you will. Who cares if he knew you had more money, he isn't entitled to anything. If he truly needed it, he'd be appreciative of what you gave.

And I don't know the dude, but religion is often a sympathy angle for panhandlers.

For future reference, there are far more needy people using charities than there are asking for random money on the street. I've had a panhandler threaten me once when I wouldn't give him money, and it's because I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

Don't let it get to you, you gave what you had to spare.