Ive been with the guy for almost 3 months. We're in our early 20. He was very sweet when we started going out. However, now he treats me like a wife. He doesnt buy me flowers or small presents. He does wanna pay for everything, but I would share the going out expenses( i always try to pay! for myself), if he gives me some small presents once in a while. Just for me to feel his attention:( He calls me,talks about family already, his parents like me....But I want to feel his attention. he is kind of guy that doesnt like to go out. Also, he persisted sometime that I cook for him a few times a week. Is he right to treat me like this? Does he love me or gonna love me? Or maybe Im just spoiled and should appreciate what I have? Thanx
Additional Details
Im afraid I loose my time with him even though Im just 21. Maybe he doesnt love me and never will. I feel like he doesnt want to put something in our relationship. i always care about him, on the other hand. I give him small presents...
2007-10-26 09:37:45 · 5 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When you mentioned he wa sweet, what do you mean? Did he appear charming? Did he flatter you and treat you as a one of a kind person? If he has made a change from Prince Charming to frog on a log in such a fast time, he may have been through some kind of change; or it may be that you just want a change. Many guys are insecure about their feelings, and will take longer times to open up. For short, what he sees as an improvement in the relationship, may seem like a standstill to you. Ask him how he thinks the relationship is going.
On the other hand, he may want to settle down with a woman, and skip the whole 'must hunt female and capture her with my great and superior skills as a man.' In this situation you describe, this may be a bad thing, because your boyfriend is moving in a direction it sounds like you are not ready for yet: which I think is settling down. For the age you say you are at, this is undestandable. You have many years ahead of yourself and want to make a good choice in the man you will spend a lifetime with. My advice would be to ask yourself what you want in a short term relationship and take that same relationship long-term. What do you see? Do you see your boyfriend in this hypothetical relationship?
Once you have tried this, try sitting down with your boyfriend and talk to him about your views on the relationship, and get his views as well. Insure that he is not merely nodding his head to everything and agreeing with you consistently, but is actively participating. Again, my opinion is that you want to be pampered and appreciated for (like anybody) and treated like a princess. In the beginnings of a relationship, you should be. However, think of the benefits of having a stable boyfriend (which by the way, this guy sounds very stable). Try getting him to treat you more like a princess by telling him what you like and try to understand his views on a relationship as well. If he is into you, he will try treating to you more and more. Make sure you get him to share what he would like in a relationship. Make sure he starts of gently as well as you in what you want, and I am sure you two will get along great!
Just remember to share what you want, and make sure he can comfortably do the same. Challenge him and make sure he does the same. He should, for instance, be able to surprise you with flowers or an affectionate touch every once in awhile without you encouraging the behavior.
P.S. He does really sound like a good guy. I admit to having this same problem as well, and my girlfriend had to work me slowly into opening up. I really think he is trying to open up to you, but hold off doing too much "motherly" like things. He should be able to fend for himself with help from you. You may also want to share this question with him, and ask him what he thinks. Keep in mind it may take him a while to open up, but when he does, he may hit you like a tsunami with everything you could ever want in a man! Despite this, you should also keep yourself alert in case he is not into you, but from what you have told me, this is jem in the dirt that just needs a little brushing off and brushing up. Keep the hope and stay strong!
2007-10-26 10:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by mazemasterigc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to ways to measure the depth of someone's feelings, presents are way, way down on the list. Do you enjoy spending time with this guy, or do you just get the feeling he's looking for a part-time cook? Does it matter how much he might love you if he's not going to go out as often as you'd like? Stop worrying about what might happen, and figure out whether you're happy with things the way they are.
2007-10-26 16:46:46 · answer #2 · answered by MM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are contradicting yourself.....if he didnt love you he wouldnt ask you to cook for him.......it takes a brave man to eat a young womans food......and plus before he proposes he has to make sure you can atleast feed him.......i think that you are experiencing a little bit of shock because he is now in his comfort zone..he's comfortable with you and doesnt have to try as hard to impress you......all men do this....and theres nothing wrong with the way he's treating you i think its sweet.....but you are a little spoiled thinking he should always bring you presents....hunny if you find a man like that let me know.
2007-10-26 16:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by Jami 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i dont think he doesnt love u i just think he got comfortable...i mean i pay for some expenses with my bf but he didnt start that untill like 1.5yrs after that he started asking me to get dinner or something that we do that day ...but i just think u should let it go ...some guys r not romantics
2007-10-26 16:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ginger86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him to do something for you in answer. you'll see if he cares about you. like to visit you when you're not feeling well and so on. Let's see if he likes to be kind of husband. make him jealous if you want to attract his attention. Loosing your time - you want to get married? if yes, what's wrong if he treats you like a wife?
2007-10-26 16:48:49 · answer #5 · answered by ania361 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋