ARRRRGH MY PARENTS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! what do i do?

Question

my parents are super OVER protective....they don't let me do anything....no school activities....no going to the mall by myself....no going over my friend's house NOTHING not even going to my bestfriends birthday party
anyways now im in 9th grade and there's this boy....he first called me like a week ago and my mom she totally freaked and gave me the whole"there's only one things boys want from you" then i guess she told my dad, then i got the whole"when you get pregnant" speech but still i was just like whatever then like he continued on calling me and my mom told me to tell him TO STOP CALLING ME!!!!!!!! then she went on the caller id and threaten to call him and tell him

i like him but even though i tell her were just friends she's still rambling on......like i know what to do and what not to do IM NOT ******* STUPID

i feel like im in a prison SHE EVEN MADE ME NOT ANSWER HIM WHEN HE CALLED

Answer 1

Jeez - your parents did freak out!

Its one thing to talk to you about the facts of life, and a whole other thing to put the kebosh on you and this guy.

If your parents were smart, they'd ask this guy over for dinner.
You are what -14? 15?
Soon, you'll be able to get a drivers license, graduate from high school, go to college...have your own life.

What happens when parents try to protect their kids is that when those kids get their freedom (like, in college) they break way too many rules.
For example, in my family, we kids were served a LITTLE bit of wine on holidays.
When I went off to college, drinking was NOT a big issue for me but you should have seen the other kids that got smashed every night!
Why?
Because mom and dad always said "no".
Consider what happened to Adam and Eve when God said "don't eat the fruit..."!
When people are always told NOT to do something, they usually DO, and it sometimes turns ugly!

Look - we play three roles in our life: child, parent and adult.
Your folks are playing the parent role.
Time for you to take the adult role.
Explain to them that you want to abide by and respect their rules while you live in their house but that it would be helpful for them to give you guidance in handling social interaction with boys and that by just saying no makes it appear that ALL contact with the opposite sex is morally wrong.

See if that helps.

Answer 2

i have the same exact situation with my parents... i'm never allowed to go anywhere with my friends and i'm basically not even supposed to have any guy friends. but the thing that i have is a cellphone (that i'm not supposed to let friends call) so if a guy DOES call it's fromt there... but i have to be very secretive about it. but to tell you the truth, there really isn't anything you can do. no matter what, your parents AREN'T gonna change their minds about this and nothing you do will make them change their minds. you'll just have to deal with it and hopefully they'll ease up a little since now you're in hs and you need more freedoms. i'm also a 9th grader and i know how it feels to get a phone call from a guy that you like and you can't let your parents totally control your life.

BEST OF LUCK!!!

Answer 3

My parents are a little hardcore too. It is so hard to talk to your parents alone. I hate going up to my mom or dad and say anything that doesnt have to do with school/homework. But in your case, it's the only option. Just tell your parents simple things that might bring up the waterworks.
Say, "Mom, dad, I really like this guy. How did you and dad meet? When did you meet? I'm in high school now and this guy means so much to me as dad means to you. I would never do anything stupid like get pregnant. If you don't even trust me with my own friends than how can I have respect for you? Please, just let me have him over here. That way you can see how mature he is." That is the way I would phrase it. Parents (like mine) would much likely have the guy come over to your house rather than his first. ~Hope this works!

Answer 4

Well, it sounds like your parents are definite control freaks.
What you should do is sit down with them together and very calmly, explain to them how you're a young woman now and that you would appreciate some leniency on their rules as well as gain some responsibilities (and of course you know that means chores and other such nonsense that go along with that).
In all reality, teenagers/children are going to do what they want to do (it's what we call 'rebels') whether their parents want them to or not. Some kids actually listen and abide by their parents' rules no matter how strict or unreasonable they are. And on the opposite end of that, there are kids who do the complete opposite of what their parents want/ask of them. It's wise of you to talk with them and come to some sort of agreement on things. And it is better (FOR THEM) that you actually have the OPTION of talking things out with them as opposed to you rebelling.
It is obvious that you are not stupid because you are getting frustrated by their actions and reactions by everything you do.

I just want to add: sometimes parents do these things to, yes, be protective, and sometimes OVERprotective of you because of mistakes that they have made. But sometimes it takes a child making their own mistake(s) for them to fully learn. And often parents aren't willing to go to those lengths - fearful of the consequences. All good parents should really do is just be there for their children and support them no matter what they get into (trouble or not).

Answer 5

You're in a tough situation dear.

That your parents are protective of you is OK, but they have failed to see you as a person who is growing up. They want to protect you because of what they fear could happen to you that would affect them, almost more than protecting you for your sake.

They are not going to lighten up either. They believe they are totally right.

Be respectful to them and continue to show yourself to be reliable and trustworthy. Don't give them any excuses for clamping down on you.

I'd like to offer you some hope, but from what you have written they appear to be as firm as a brick wall. You may have to ride this one out.

Answer 6

I'm sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like your parents really care for you and what happens to you. I know it's hard to understand and sometimes you just want to runaway but just be patient there will come a time when you'll get to date all the boys you want for now just hang out with your friends maybe you could see him on a group date. You don't want a boyfriends now, trust me.

Answer 7

Part of being a parent is protecting their young, but yours are taking it way too far. It is so hard to let your child go out in the world without you because you know the many dangers out there. But there comes a time you take a deep breath and pray you have taught them right. Is there an adult you can talk to that might be able to talk to your parents? If not you best bet is to be on best behavior. show them you are mature enough to be trusted.

Answer 8

Oh my gosh.
My parents are the exact same way. No friends. No parties. No boys. No anything.
I'm in tenth grade and it is tough. No homecoming. No prom. Its sad. Shes always afraid i will get kidnapped/raped/killed.
I tried everything. Rebellion. Being extra good. Nothing worked.
I'll be watching this for a answer that could help me out too.
I can't wait till college. I will become a party animal!

Answer 9

I'm sure you aren't stupid. I'm also sure you're very young and vulnerable to all sorts of issues regarding relationships. At your age you are impulsive and inexperienced. Your parents (God bless 'em) are trying to protect you until you become more able to protect yourself. You're not in prison but without your parents' guidance, you might very well end up there....or dead. Listen to them! Don't give them a rough time. They are on your side which you'll never fully understand till you've got a child of your own. You've got plenty of time to grow up and mature. Give it time.

Answer 10

Well you know my parents were the same way when i was growing up. Then best thing for you to do is not answer them and if you know they are NOT going to let you do things then why bother asking. besides it's the best for you... look at me i'm married to the best guy i have a education and i work at a good job. you mite not think it's good for you now but wait until you get older you are going to thank them.