I want me and my fiance' to write our own vows for our wedding but he thinks it's a lil corny. Is it? I think it's sweet and shows more love. What do you guys think about it?
2007-10-26 09:02:15 · 34 answers · asked by nana_14 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think it's corny at all, however, it does put alot of pressure on the couple--both have to be very willing to do it. If one is even remotely hesitant, then I'd suggest going with more standard vows--which work just fine, by the way. Writing your own vows means you need to be able to effectively express your very personal feelings verbally, and write them out beforehand. Many guys just aren't comfortable doing that. You certainly don't want to get up there and try to do it with no preparation.
Don't pressure him to do it if he doesn't want to. It in no way reflects how he feels about you or about marrying you. In the long run, promising to love, honor and cherish each other, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, and being faithful to each other for the rest of your lives is all that the vows really are anyway, right? Good luck with your marriage!
2007-10-26 11:25:18 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's silly. Why?
well, the standard vows are all that I need. I am making a vow to love honor cherish... good times and bad... forsaking all others, etc.
Giving a speech about how we met or some corny sappy words about how we have magical true love is not a vow.
Additionally, when I have been to a wedding where they wrote their own, I couldn't hear a word they said anyways.
I have two alternatives to offer...
Our wedding was Catholic and they don't allow writing your own vows anyways (at least our doesn't). Instead, our pastor asked us to write the answer to the question, "why I want to marry you" (which is often what people are really saying when they write their own vows). Instead of us saying it as vows, the Pastor worked it in to the Homily. But for us, we didn't know he was going to do that. And since he was saying it at the microphone, everyone heard it and they really liked it.
If that is not an option, you could always give each other a toast at your reception.
But all in all, I am with the guy on this one. I do think it's corny. The standard vows cover all the bases. Why re-invent the wheel?
2007-10-26 09:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it's really wrong to assume that just because people use the traditional vows mean they are lazy and/or don't love each other as much.
Look, writing your own vows is alot of pressure. Some people just aren't writers and some are stage shy and know that there will be enough nerves just getting married without adding that to it.
I think it can go either way. Perhaps compromise and use traditional vows during the ceremony but you each write a love letter with those type thoughts to give to each other beforehand?
2007-10-26 09:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Of all the weddings I have gone to my favorites were the ones where they had a very PERSONAL exchange... like writing their own vows, or a special song, etc. The more it is about the two of you the better... and it is your day you can be as corny and romantic as you want. The most important thing is if YOU want to be... I say do it!! Congrats!
2007-10-26 09:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by crissygirly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It will be more meaningful if you 2 write your own vows pledging your love for one another, there is nothing corny about it. You 2 will be speaking from the heart and that is what vows are all about, I say go for it and god bless.
2007-10-26 11:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by carmel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all corny it is very sincere and a sign of the love whic the two of you share. Everybody says the traditional vows so do somethign personal to you both and make promises of your own to each other, that is mroe romantic and personal to you as a couple.
2007-10-26 09:12:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think it's overly done. everyone thinks they are poets. i'm sure the vows will be special either way, but i find that when people write their own vows, they want to wax poetic about silly junk or add in funny little stories. either way, they usually aren't that original. i mean, how many different ways can you say, "i want to spend the rest of my life with you. you make me want to be a better man/woman/whatever"? we've all heard this before in movies, on tv, in personal wedding vows. the creativity and originality you are looking for has been done before at every other wedding. spare yourself the stress of trying (and failing) to come up with something earth-shatteringly romantic and just recite the vows.
2007-10-26 11:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I wrote our own vows, and while it was an extra pressure I think we might have been able to do without, I don't think (in retrospect) I would have wanted it any other way.
If your man is resistant to the idea, then don't push it. You can always take your vows (if he doesn't want to write his), and write them in a card and include that with his groom's gift (if you're exchanging gifts prior to the wedding).
2007-10-26 09:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think writing your own vows is corny at all. My advce would be to write them down in case you get nervous. In situations like that, where how you say something is important, I always think it is better to write out exactly what you want to say.
2007-10-26 12:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by bobo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as they're not so far out in left field that they're not wedding vows. I always have my brides go through my book with me and pick the vows they like, or the elements / style of them and then come up with something personal.
2007-10-26 10:19:29 · answer #10 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋