Normal whining vs. abnormal?

Question

My son is 28 months old and has just in the past 2 weeks developed excessive whining over everything! It drives me nuts but even more so than that makes me feel like there might be something wrong that I'm missing, I have had him in earlier this week and they found a very minor ear infection but that was it. He will whine about what we play, how we play, if I tickle him, just weird things that he usually enjoys, now he whines and tells me no. This is my 1st child so I was hoping some other parents could give me imput on if this is a new "stage". Thanks

Answer 1

Try emotional coaching. It can be difficult, but really helps. First recognize how his whining makes you feel, then one you notice your own emotion, find a way to deal with it. Then, get down at your sons level and ask him whats wrong, "are you sad?" "are you frustrated?" tell him "mommy is here for you, what do you need to feel better?" Sometimes, just having mom get down and talk to him will make him feel better. I have 4 boys, all 3 and under, and I am dealing with this same thing with my 27 month old. It is helping. We also introduced "bear", a stuffed bear that we kind of play out situations with. We ask the bear how he is feeling, and whats wrong. He loves his bear and it is helping too. Good luck!

Answer 2

The whining could be related to the ear problem. If he can't hear clearly, how probably doesn't even realize himself how whiny he sounds. Stay on top of this to make sure it is clear and there is no residual damage--go to a pediatric hearing specialist if you think you need to.

Meanwhile, he is certainly old enough to at least try and reason with about this. I would try a "whine jar" (or maybe a whine bottle? lol) approach to this similar to a swear jar. For a kid this young, having two clear plastic jugs or jars will probably work best so you have a real good visual. Put pennies, poker chips, marbles, or some other token in one jar with a :) face on it. It is the "Happy Jar". The other jar starts out empty and should have a :( whiny face on it. (You could even take digital photos of him doing both and attach to the jars so there is no doubt what you mean!)
Every time he whines, a chip goes from the happy jar to the sad jar--make him move it. You can even have baggies or something that fits in your diaper bag to make this portable.
At the end of the day, week, whatever, he has to have x # of chips still in the happy jar in order to earn whatever treat you want to use (special snack, extra bedtime story, tickle torture, whatever--it does NOT have to cost $$). The idea is to show him that you pay attention to him when he is using his "big boy words" and smiley face instead of "whiny baby voice".
Use these words or something similar when you explain it to him. When he messes up, say something like, "Uh, oh, you have to pay the whiny jar! I'm so sorry I can understand what you need when you are whining. When you calm down and use your big boy words, I will be glad to listen and help you."

It's also typical "terrible two" behavior to whine and/or say no about everything. Give him as many choices as you can about things that don't matter, so he will feel "empowered", and give him as much notice as you can about things coming up so he feels more of a sense of control....the more he can learn to predict what's coming next, the less he may protest about it. Say something like, "Would you like to play tickle OR read a book?" (or whatever the possible choices are---usually only 2-3 is plenty for that age.)

Answer 3

Your son is growing up and is becoming more autonomous. He's learned about being able to make his own choices and now he wants to see how you respond to his displeasure. Gauge his whining based on his needs and your own... if he's whining about something that he usually considers fun, respect that he's choosing not to do it and find something new to play. Use these opportunities to teach him more appropriate ways of asking for things he needs. Say "would you like to play another game? That's okay with mommy, but you need to ask me in a big boy voice." If he's whining about being hungry or not feeling well, he just hasn't developed the skills to express these needs any other way. He'll grow out of it as he learns that you will respond to him when he asks nicely. The worst thing you can do is ignore whining... kids just feel frustrated and you just get annoyed. Address their concern and teach them new ways to be understood.

Answer 4

This is most likely an attention stage. He may have seen that at first when he whines he gets attention. You should try setting time just for you and your son. Do not give in when he whines. try to ignore it. Since you took him to the doctor I would say this is just a simple phase and one that will make you crazy but it will end I promise. Good luck

Answer 5

Kids try new things all the time, it doesnt mean you go on letting them do it.

If you dont want him to whine, dont let him. Its not complicated.

Show him, and tell him how to express himself properly, and then expect him to do what you've told him. If he doesnt, tell him you cannot talk with him when he's whining and when he's done you'll discuss it. If it gets really out of hand from that point, spank him, or put him on time out, and tell him to use real words, he's not a baby.

Its one thing when theyre tired and in pain, its another when they've discovered they can express themselves in a poor manner.

Answer 6

Maybe whining is the only way he thinks he can get your attention? Tell him that big boys don't whine, good luck =)

Answer 7

Just POP him in the mouth and tell him that whining is unacceptable.

Answer 8

not sure... but I know my daughter gets whiny when she is getting teeth. Is he getting his 2 year molars??