Just yesterday, my girlfriend told me she needed some time off because she feels restricted. However, honestly I can't say that I'm doing anything to restrict her. It could just be being in a relationship in general. She's gone through a lot, and has a lot of stuff going on in her head, and doesn't really know who she is. She claims that she needs some time off to get her act together. I said alright. I was a bit suspicious at first, because things are going great between us. So she got the space she needed, i haven't contacted her and i blocked her on AIM and im not picking up her phone calls. (just in case it's not really what she says it is. aka using me for backup if she's found another guy) So, she goes ballistic on me, calls me like 30+ times and gets my friends to IM me to see if I'm online. I'm not quite sure what to do. Should I talk with her or resume the no contact policy?
2007-10-26 06:53:55 · 20 answers · asked by Jedi Knight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to her and ask her what her problem is, she wanted the space, your giving it to her!
2007-10-26 06:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think blocking her might have been taking it a little far...you could have just chosen not to answer the IM's...however, it now seems as if she's playing some sort of game by calling you 30+ times and even going so far as to have your friends contact you to see if you are online....that's on the verge of stalking and she is the one who wanted the break. I would simply email me and explain that her actions are confusing to you...you have not returned her calls because you were giving her the space she needed....but the fact that she's calling you so often and even having your friends check up on you is disturbing and confusing. Ask her flat out what it is she expects you to do. Tell her you didn't want the break in the first place, and from her actions since the fact, it seems that possibly she didn't either. Tell her that out of respect for your feelings that she needs to be honest about what she wants and why.
2007-10-26 14:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you really need to go to these extremes, perhaps she meant a BIT of space - not to be ignored completely! By cutting off all contact she may think you are acting childishly and will have good reason to leave you altogether. If you do love her then back off slightly and give her a time limit - say 2 months to decide what she wants and then after that if she hasn't made up her mind you can carry on with your own life and look for someone else!
2007-10-26 14:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by willt246 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This situation sounds very familiar and the mistakes from both parts, your and hers, are the same, too.
Her mistake is that she told you she needed time and she wasn't totally open to you. (obviously you don't tell her this) Your mistake is that you closed your door, eventhough she turned you away first, what she might have wanted you to do is probably to talk to her but not as a boyfriend but as her best-friend. You know the listening with care, and holding her if she weeps, the whole enchilada. This might not be what you want to do, but if you really like her and want to keep her, it's worth it.
Trust me it sucks to know that you could have save your relationship but didn't and let that chance go by. Hope this works out for you. L8rs.
2007-10-26 14:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Tony RC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her yourself for one last time. Let her know she needs to stop contacting you or you will get a restraining order. Trust me, being a girl, sometimes you have to make it really clear to us. She could be thinking that you like her trying to get into contact with you since you haven't told her you don't...
Hope it works out how you want it to.
2007-10-26 13:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a girl says she needs space it doesn't mean that she wants to be treated like she's on another planet. You should still talk to her because she might just need someone to talk to occationally, ignoring her altogether is kind of a jerky thing to do.
2007-10-26 13:58:38 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone asks for space doesn't mean you delete them from your life, what were you thinking? She asked for space, not to get rid of you. If you want to know if she's using her, ask her straight up, catch her off guard with the question, you don't just assume the worst and move on.
2007-10-26 13:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought she wanted space not to be blocked by her b/f? She may feel smothered by life in general and needs time to her self for awhile. I don't think she intends on leaving you for another guy. My advise don't ignore her.
2007-10-26 13:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by Coach S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
things are not going great for her. she doesn't want you. any relationship restricts you (for example from dating others).
she did not expect you to cut her off.
you can handle it how you want. you can explain that you thought she meant stop all contact, maybe she thought she meant only stop the kissing and sex but keep talking etc. sounds like a misunderstanding.
it's up to you
2007-10-26 13:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she told you that she needed her space, because she felt that way...and you gave it to her...and seeing as how she's the one who has been trying to contact you...i would start talking to he ragain if i were you....it seems like she knows what she wants now, not who..give it a chance, whats the worst that will happen...you can't make someone love you..
2007-10-26 13:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by crazyblonde09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋